OKay so me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half and have lived together for a year and a half. We are together every single day. I have a no porn policy, he's not aloud to look at porn whatso ever any kind UNLESS I'm there and I want to, Well one night I was apart from him for about 5 hours cause I worked a night shift.. so when I came home and the first thing I do is search the internet history and what do I find he typed in TITS and clicked on the first site, I SCREEAAMMED and he denied it for about 30 minutes then adimitted to it saying he only went on for 30 seconds and got off cause he knew id get mad... and he was only going on it to search for sex games for us ( which we talked about the night before). I feel so hurt and I get so paraniod at things like this. This has not happened for the whole year and ahalf we were dating and he said it would never happen again but its just eating away at me, And truth of the matter is I looked at porn that day myself( in the morning while he wasn't there)! ( I KNOW how to delete history tho) I am very sexual and lovvvve sex... But I get very very insecure and upset when he looks at porn annnd I always think if I'm in the shower or he's in the shower he's masturbating which reallly hurts me too( even though I masturbate>!>! BUT he's not aloud)... Bt he says he doesn't cause we have sex like every day or every other day

I know I sound sooo crazy but I don't know why I feel like this!! It can be a control thing I don't know but its eating away at me!
Its affecting me by going to night school and affecting my work cause I just want to make sure he's not masturbating or looking at porn when I'm not home.

AGHH I need help

You DO need help.

Why the double standard?

I suggest you get couples counseling, or give up on guys--because I don't know a guy out there that doesn't look at porn.

Even if you don't do couples counseling, I suggest some for yourself. There is NO REASON to be that hung up on it unless your self-esteem is suffering in other ways. You probably shouldn't be so controlling, and you definitely shouldn't have a double standard in a relationship. That's only going to foster resentment sooner or later.

Yeah your policies are a little extreme and hypocritical. If you continue to control his life and treat him like a child he is going to leave you. I agree w/ Synnen you should talk to someone but by yourself and figure out why you are so insecure about this. If you continue to act like this he is going to leave and go find a real girl to look at rather than one on the computer. Good Luck.

I think you are feeling guilty from watching it behide his back! Maybe if you go to your local porn store and pick out some videos you don't mind him watching. Then you to watch them together?

Please answer these questions:

1) how old are you?
2) what do you do or study?
3) what is your relationship with your mother and your father?
4) is there any trauma in your house previously or divorce?

Wow. You do need help. Big time.

In your whole rant, never once did you ask a question. That makes me believe that you are a selfish person who isn't really interested in changing. The problem is yours and you need to admit that without reservation before you can expect to feel better.

I'd be willing to bet that your self-centered feelings aren't limited to your boyfriend's use of porn. You probably feel like the whole world is against you. That nobody ever sees things your way. Newsflash: The world does not revolve around you.

Just curious: What role does alcohol play in your life?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ash123

Please answer these questions:

1) how old are you?
2) what do you do or study?
3) what is your relationship with your mother and your father?
4) is there any trauma in your house previously or divorce?

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I am 21 years old... I work full time and am taking law part time. I don't really see my parents and my parents are divcorced.


I know I sound crazy and selfish and all of that... I don't undertsand why I feel like this and I do think I probably should go to a counsellor,. BUt I don't have the money or time.

And its not like he isint jealous crazy or anything like that.. I'm not aloud to go on Facebook or msn.
So its kind of both ways.
AHHHH

You are disconnected from a tradtional family support system and are insecure.

Work on finding support and being supportive... your attempt to control life and people is futile... you can only love someone who loves you and respects you as much as you do them... anything else is just going to make you spin.

Good luck. Work on growing and taking chances -- for the better..

You should both trust each other enough to be left alone in a room with ten sexy people of the opposite sex and not do anything.

You should know and trust that if he were alone with a naked woman he would not betray you, surely?

So trust him.

Masturbation is 100% normal and healthy. You could even do it for him! Lol.

Having such restrictions (like you are his mother) is not good at all.