:( :mad: I don't understand them my dads a phycologist and my moms a computer designer and I have what most would think is a perfect life but I think my parents are suffacating me so much I want to go back to a time 7 months ago when I was using drugs and alcohol to numb myself to the entire world now when I think back to that I think I really just wanted to feel in control. But everything about my parents, their personality,clothes,accents, the way they think and the way they arejust pisses me off and I want to avoid them as much as possible. This usually results as me locking myself in my room and cranking the volume on my marilyn manson or prodigy cds and either crying, sleeping or eating I'm 14 I'm a dude I'm sort of emo and I can't deal with them does anyone have a clue on how to cope with them :(:confused: :mad:

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Originally Posted by sawyera bisiga

:( :mad: i dont understand them my dads a phycologist and my moms a computer designer and i have what most would think is a perfect life but i think my parents are suffacating me so much i want to go back to a time 7 months ago when i was using drugs and alchol to numb myself to the entire world now when i think back to that i think i really just wanted to feel in controll. but everything about my parents, their personality,clothes,accents, the way they think and the way they arejust pisses me off and i want to avoid them as much as possible. this usually results as me locking myself in my room and cranking the volume on my marilyn manson or prodigy cds and either crying, sleeping or eating im 14 im a dude im sorta emo and i can't deal with them does anyone have a clue on how to cope with them :(:confused: :mad:

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What do you mean they are suffocating you? What are they on you about? All I have to say is drugs and alcohol is not the answer it may solve it for a short period, but not forever. Stop running from your problems because in the end it will be way worse! So get it out now. Talk to them about your feels, let them know. ALso you should feel lucky they are even in your life and care, because my parents never cared about me never showed me any kind of love so if they show you love take it!! Seriously you only have one set of parents! They may be here today and gone tomorrow. GodWilling!Cherish your parents!! Their yours! Love them, be patient with them. GOOD LUCK!!

Let me see you were drinking and using drugs, short of being locked in your room and having every movement of your life controlled your parents are doing things to correct poor life choices. You should understand they are reacting to your very bad lifestyle

Perhaps if they send you off for a few months to a boot camp you may have a better attitude

I felt the same when I was your age! Believe me drugs and alcohol are NOT the answer, Yes it does numb the pain, but it doesn't make the pain go away. Try please to stay sober and face life, your teens years are the hardest! Mine were for sure! I'm 18 now and I am not totally happy with my life but I will be I am working towards the future and thinking positive all the time. Do things you enjoy, any sports? Even if you like music, playing guitar, let out your anger in other ways then substances.
Take Care!

I know their not good and actually I bought aguitar and a new long board today:):)

Good job!:) I'm happy your looking at other ways to relieve stress:)!

At least to some degree it is normal at your age to feel as you do about your parents. All teenagers go through this at some point. It is not normal, nor smart however for you to use drugs as a way of dealing with life as it is. You may feel that your parents are smothering you but if they see that you are headed down a road that leads to a dead end, they have good reason to protect (smothering you as you call it) you from yourself. If you think your parents are bad you should have one like me 'cause at 14 you would not have Marilyn Manson or Prodigy in my house, nor would you be doing drugs while under my roof.

Bahaha. Good luck because it never ends! I am 30 already. My parents (especially my dad), still treat me like a kid. Marylin Manson and Prodigy were big when I was growing up. They were not allowed in my home. I was and still am a big Nine Inch Nails (don't know if you know of them) fan and that band was especially forbidden. I had to hide my player under my pillow at night time so my parents wouldn't hear when I listened to them. I know right now you are thinking "pssh whatever" and you probably feel like your in some sort of prison cell at home half the time what with all the ridiculous rules and what not. As you get older you will make a few mistakes in your life probably from thinking you know it all or just being young and dumb. Then you will come to a point in your life where you will understand exactly why your parents are the way they are and why they did what they did.

I know their doing it for my best intrestes but how can they do that without watching my every move? Nine inch nails are the bomb!! :D

They watch you every move because you have behaved in a way that has made them not trust what you do, and your present attitude is one that still leads them to believed you need to be watched.
You are a child that is behaving like an angry unruly one. When you grow up and change, your parent's reaction to you will.

Homegirl is right as far as once someone loses another's trust they will watch you like a hawk.
Time will prove to them that you are a good kid and have brought yourself out of drugs and alcohol and hopefully a good lesson learned. My daughters got into drinking and smoking weed I was soooo worried that they were going to do nothing with their life but mess it up. They went and got their GED and joined the military as C130 mechanics and I am so proud of them. My oldest daughter is having my first grand baby and my other daughter doesn't treat me like she hates me or is embarrassed by me like she use to.
From the little I have read by you on this site it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and will do good in life as long as you keep going in the right direction.

Believe it or not the suffocation is a form of showing you how much they love you. Maybe while locked in your room write down how your feeling and how they make you feel then give it to them when your sure your right about it. Teenage years are the hardest and they will pass, but the parents will not change, you'll just have the opportunity to get away from it one day soon. Hang in there and try your hardest to say yes mom yes dad. And bite the bullet till you can tell them how you feel in a posotive way.

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Originally Posted by sawyera bisiga

i know their doing it for my best intrestes but how can they do that without watching my every move? nine inch nails are the bomb!!!:D

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You got to build some sort of trust with them. You do that and they will back off. I know how they feel. I have a 7 and 8 year old. I fear the day when they become teens.

I get where you're coming from, parents are tough. You don't know how to deal with them, everyone's been there. Teens and parents have never gotten on and will never get on, it's just like an unspoken law. Don't go doing the whole drugs and alcohol kick though mate, I've been there. I saw what it did to my older brother and I stopped (my brother currently resides in a mental hospital, he believes he's telepathic and that ghosts communicate with him) trust me you don't want to end up like that. I get that you're kind of emo, if it helps at all I'm like a full blown goth, my little sis is an emo. *shrugs*
As for your parents? The best technique I've found is the shrug technique, don't say whatever just say "sure mum" "sure dad". Smile and nod, every now and then act like you care what they have to say, sound enthusiastic and ask a question then they'll be all pacified and you can do your own thing. Try it, worked like a charm on my parents!

just wait till college and you will only have to deal with them like 4 times a year max. until then just don't lose their trust, because it will make things 10 times harder (using drugs being an example)... they are "suffocating" you because they want to know more about you, and being somewhat of a recluse only makes them more interested and concerned with your well being. Trust me they only want the best for you, and in order for them to step off you need to give them a reason to do so.

blasting music s up your ears so I would suggest against that but going outside and chilling with friends always helps when I feel down or confused.

hope I helped =)

I know that you are going to hate my answer but it is the truth...
It is a phase.
I went through this with my parents and I know that it can be difficult. Being a teenager can be hard but be strong and you will get through it. Your parents are irritating you right now because you are seeking independence but yet at your age you have no control. Drugs will not help you deal with your problems they will only help to temporary suppress the feelings.
I remember feeling like my parents just did not understand me or anything I was going through. It all passes I promise

Look.. I'm 16, so I was 14 not too long ago. Yea, it sucked - it sucked like a b*tch . I even bought a plane ticket to run away, like a fool. Luckily I never got on that plane.

Do you know how many people on this planet, don't have parents? There are millions of them, they hunger each minute of their lives to know where their parents are, wondering every day why they're not around. And here you are whining on the internet, with your fancy computer about how you need to "cope" with your parents.

Compared to the rest of the planet, you're spoilt. Look at you, got your MM records, a computer with internet, your own room. (I for instance have to share my room with my sister).

Sorry buddy but there's nothing wrong with you at all. You just need to realise that drugs and alcohol, are "out" (or whatever phrases they use these days). I stopped smoking recently and I'm proud of myself. I don't let people at school or anyone else tell me otherwise because I know they're just jealous and don't have the will power to let go of substances.

Do you have what it takes to be a man? You want to be treated like an adult, and not be smothered by your parents, then maybe you should start acting more mature and you will be treated more like an adult. You're still becoming a man, so don't expect anything grand but the earlier you understand the importance of being earnest (no pun intended) the better it will be for you in the future.

Another thing you need to understand is that your parents don't want to "suffocate" you. They do it because of your self-desctructive behaviour. Your actions in the past, resulted in your parents "suffocating" you.


Just wake up and smell the coffee. You've got no chip on your shoulder, you're a lucky person - you just have to realise that.

-Xm8