Ask Me Help Desk - Does it ever happen?

Hey everyone, just have been reading a lot of threads to try to help me through my days. I am doing well I think. NC and trying to keep my mind busy without thinking of her, its been 3 full months since the breakup. Anyway, was just pondering... How many of you on here have actually had your exgirlfriends come back? I mean does it really happen? I am starting to think I don't know what I would say if she did? Has anyone's exgirlfriend come back?

Well if you look up top you will see a couple locked threads. One of them has the percentage of people that end up back 2 gether and sadly or not it is very small. I think it all depends on the reason for the BreakUp. I think the Key is not worrying about getting back together. I have been through this before and I was the rebound and the girl still reached out to me and tried to continue to see me. She ended up marrying the guy but now I look back and wonder what would have happened if I had hooked up with her when she called me crying? Now I know. DRAMA! Lol Learning from it I believe is KEY. I have been through very few breakups I think considering my age 4 total. Only 1 did I want. It took this time for me to learn how I am and the things I do that may contribute to some of the issues that I tend to hear from my Ex's. Not saying if I found the right one they wouldn't stick with me cause I strongly believe the biggest issue is they are the ones that are not ready in allot of ways but I am not perfect :>)

kuulski, yeah I am not worrying about getting back together. I was just curious if they ACTUALLY realize they made a mistake? Not that I am holding out, just kind of wanted to know if they do come back, how do they justify being so cruel? And if the one that got dumped actually takes them back?

I have not seen too much of it on this site but I have heard of plenty of times when women/men realize they made a huge mistake and try to get that person back. My myself have never been on the receiving end of that and if I was I wouldn't know what to do lol. Don't know if that means I am not a catch or if I am just a diamond in the rough lol.
I am one of those "Nice Guys" that always seems to get dumped lol. Glad I can laugh about it now. I just need to set the Bar High and Keep it there.

My ex came back twice. Guess what? It didn't last long. That was nearly a year ago now. People do get back together in various circumstances. Two people in my extended family got back together after years apart and various other relationships including a marrige. So yes it can happen. But as I said, years.

People grow and change, that probably helps :P

But my guess is as good as anyone else's... Who knows if they will come back, probably if they ever did you would have become indifferent and treat them more like an old friend not an ex lover.

No contact is your best bet to move on with your life, ignorance really is bliss! Who wants to know that their ex is fcking some guy or girl. Probably not many. You mention "nice guy" as well? You are who you are, don't change that for anyone. If they can't live with it then well next? Just learn from the past, perhaps don't rush into things as quick, have your own life away from your partner. As I say to many people, relationships shouldn't make your life!! & that is where a lot of us go wrong.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diamondstar03

Hey everyone, just have been reading alot of threads to try to help me through my days. I am doing well I think. NC and trying to keep my mind busy without thinking of her, its been 3 full months since the breakup. Anyway, was just pondering.... How many of you on here have actually had your exgirlfriends come back? I mean does it really happen? I am starting to think I dont know what I would say if she did? Has anyone's exgirlfriend come back?

Yes, two girlfriends before the last one came back to me and the last one has recently contacted me so I guess I'm 3-0. It actually happens quite often if you do the right things. The most important thing for you to realize is that you can't think about her coming back. You can't think of what you would say and you can't plan your life on the hopes she will return. There is no guarantee. The best thing for you to do is stop thinking about that possibility and start focusing on bettering yourself sans her presence. The tactic of maintaining no contact is not in effect to get a loved one back but it's in effect to make sure the situation works out the right way and that both individuals get the best outcome of what happened. Start focusing more on your life i.e. hobbies, work, career, education, traveling and less on her life and you will improve and heal faster. Eventually it will become an afterthought. If she does contact you in the future then you worry about your next move with her. Cheers.

Quote:

Originally Posted by enigmagnetic

Yes, two girlfriends before the last one came back to me and the last one has recently contacted me so I guess I'm 3-0. It actually happens quite often if you do the right things. The most important thing for you to realize is that you can't think about her coming back. You can't think of what you would say and you can't plan your life on the hopes she will return. There is no guarantee. The best thing for you to do is stop thinking about that possibility and start focusing on bettering yourself sans her presence. The tactic of maintaining no contact is not in effect to get a loved one back but it's in effect to make sure the situation works out the right way and that both individuals get the best outcome of what happened. Start focusing more on your life i.e. hobbies, work, career, education, traveling and less on her life and you will improve and heal faster. Eventually it will become an afterthought. If she does contact you in the future then you worry about your next move with her. Cheers.

Great Post!