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-   -   Unbelievable jealousy! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=14305)

  • Oct 31, 2005, 08:25 AM
    xxBeccaxx
    unbelievable jealousy!
    I have one more problem with my current relationship. You probably all think my relationship is doomed with problems, but I fail to mension all the great things about it!
    I am so jealous. Jealous of girls on the street he looks at, jealous of girls in magazines he looks at, jealous of his ex's.
    he has slept with 13 girls in total. Which is a lot. We are both young. I lost my virginity to him.
    I'm so scared of losing him. He is amazing, but I want to get over this problem beofre it gets out of hand. When I think about all the girls that he has loved and been sexually attracted to it make me feel horrible and kind of dirty.
    Becca x
    please please help. :confused:
  • Oct 31, 2005, 01:26 PM
    jeffatl
    First, calm down. Insecure and latchy girls are a BIG turn off to guys, you can't smother them or they will pull away. You are with this guy now, and he isn't with anyone else (I hope). If you get all mad and huffy when he hangs out with or talks to other girls, he will get sick of that QUICK! Just take it easy and have some fun with him, as of now you have no reason NOT to trust him (if he hasn't cheated on you). Jealousy is just insecurity, and there is nothing wrong with that but you have to control it if you want to keep this guy. If you feel yourself getting jealous, just take a deep breath (DO NOT LEAVE THE ROOM OR WATCH HIM LIKE A HAWK!! ) just start up a conversation with someone and act like it is no big deal. You will be fine but you can't question him all the time about other girls, it will get old to him REAL quick.
  • Nov 1, 2005, 05:55 AM
    fredg
    Jealous
    Hi,
    This is something that can be overcome, but it will be hard to do; especially in this case. Being jealous is normal, to a certain extent.
    Your boyfriend has had sex with 13 other girls?? And is still young?
    The major question here is, do you think you will be the last?
    I know this will not be easy to accept, but you are in for a "tough road" with this boyfriend. I don't know his age, or yours, but someone like this is obviously "sex oriented".; that is, LOVES sex with different girls. You gave in to him too? I really believe it will happen for him again, soon, with a different girl.
    You have a perfect right to feel horrible and kind of dirty. You are being "used" by this boy, and I know you love him, but he will only hurt you in time. By that, I mean he is surely to find someone else to "conquer" in bed. His history proves it. If you aren't sure about me telling you the truth, even the President of the US, Bill Clinton, was a "womanizer" before he became President, and while in the White House, was almost impeached for the same thing!
    I do sincerely wish I could be more positive about your relationship with him, but the facts only point to him looking once again, in the future.
  • Nov 1, 2005, 08:18 AM
    xxBeccaxx
    I understand where your coming from, but I have to disagree.
    The thing is its me who has the problem. He hates talking about his past and has loads of respect for me. He talks to me about the future and what are plans are, he talks about children and marriage. This is a serious relationship that is going somewhere. The problem in the relationship is me for sure. I don't stop questioning him about it and when I think about it, it just makes me feel so worthless and empty. I'm afaid this could lead to depression.
    Becca x
  • Nov 3, 2005, 10:23 AM
    mr_X
    Got to learn
    I've been through this same problem except my girl had 25 under her belt which was very disturbing I had to learn how to forgive which took a very very long time to make part of me the only thing I can tell you if you think this person is worth it to you then you learn how to forgive if not then find you a man that you can handle remember if you've never felt pain then you've never been in love.

    Ps. As long as there is no ring on your finger there is no guarantee.
  • Nov 4, 2005, 02:16 PM
    browneyes20
    Hang in there
    I have been in the same situation as you. Just hang in there, it will get better. You're the only girl for him now. Don't keep beating yourself up over this issue. Sure, he may look at other girls, but that's all he's doing. It's not like he's going up to them and flirting with them or trying to get with them. Have you ever looked at other guys? Or thought that guys in magazines were cute? You know that when you do it, it's harmless. I'm sure it's harmless for him too. Hang in, there. It will get better. I used to be the same way and one day I just realized that my guy wasn't doing anything wrong. Try to talk to him about it. Maybe he will stop looking at other girls so much when you are right there.
  • Nov 8, 2005, 01:21 AM
    xxBeccaxx
    Well that's a relief because iys makes me feel absolutely crazy!
    Its not just the girls in magazines and girls on the streets its his ex. I get worried that I'm not as pretty etc.
  • Nov 10, 2005, 05:02 AM
    DJ 'H'
    Comparing yourself to his ex is a sure sign of an insecurity of yourself. You are obviously not happy with you self and you are lacking in confidence. This could be because of things that have happened to you in the past etc. But the key is to learn to like yourself. Why don't you take some time out and pamper yourself. Buy yourself some new clothes; get your hair done. Simple things like this really make any girl feel good and retail therepy never hurt anyone.

    Remember this girl is his 'EX' and you are his 'GIRLFRIEND', I think that says it all really! Have a little more faith in yourself.
  • Nov 15, 2005, 03:08 AM
    Katiy
    Gpa
    What is your GPA? What classes are you taking? What college are you going to?
  • Nov 15, 2005, 06:23 PM
    expertinlove
    Hes not with those other girls for a reason. Don't be jealous of girls he looks at going down the street, guys look. Hes never going to see them again. Those magazine girls are so fake, nobody in the real world looks like that. We could all look like that if we had hair and makeup artists. Don't sweat the jealousy thing if that's the only thing your worried about. Everyone has a past, and you said it yourself a lot of great things happen. He must want to be with YOU if he didn't he wouldn't be there now.
    Good luck!

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