I've been reading the forums and trying to offer some advice to others and it hasn't been easy. A quick background info, we were together for 2 years, I'm 25 and she's 2 years younger than I. She said we did not click and she wanted to be on her own. It was first brought up as a break, but we kind of know what that turns into. She said that she is wants to tell me how her days are going, but she doesn't need or want that right now. Could be a line, just to make me feel better, but I just don't know anymore. I have some news that would normally be exciting to share with her, but it doesn't mean anything without her. I thought I knew who she was, but this really surprised me. She said that she can't believe she's doing this and not sure what she wants. Again, not sure if it's a line to make me less angry. For all I know she can be with someone else already.

I haven't contacted her, except some casual talk in class if we see each other. I tr to keep myself busy with work, school, friends. I just can't stop thinking about her. In the relationship, we were somewhat dependent on each other. It's hittingme real hard that she;s not there. We spent any free time together. I'm finding myself lost, and have no direction at the moment. It's tearing me up inside, and at times I wish it would end. I would not take my life, don't get me wrong. The pain and thoughts at times are overwhelming and I don't know how much I can take.

I am not ready to be friends with her, nor do I think she wants to be my friend because she hasn't contacted me, blocked me from the online communication channels. I wouldn't contact her if I saw her online, but I just feel hurt that she has blocked me. I know that everyone has their own way of healing, and this might be it. I'm just hurt after 2 years, that she can walk away so easily. At least it seems easy for her.

Life is passing me by and I'm still steering in the headlights. I'm really trying, but I can't fix this situation or myself right now. What to do?

Does NC last until she makes the first step? I'm not holding my breath for that to happen. But a part of me wants it to happen. I'm an empty shell of the person I once was. Everything else in my life is going well, but losing her is spilling over and affecting my outlook on life.

By the way, if this sounds pathetic. I know, I feel that way.It's a great loss to me and I don't know how to bounce back. I lost my best friend too.

I know how you feel my girl is doing that too. It's hard for me cause she is the first person I ever done any sexual stuff with a girl before (I'm 19... go ahead laugh at me lol). We didn't have sex but we did sexual things that I never experienced before. And right now I'm doing the NC also. I won't say it is easy I won't say it is hard it is different for many people. Me, I've been emotionally hurt a lot in my life not with girls but other stuff so it roles off my back a bit so I am under control. Though for me it has only been a week today she stated she wanted a break so I woke up and found myself very irritable today. Just stick it out man. I know this sounds corny but I believe in you, and you CAN do it. Just remember the Roman Empire was not built in 4 weeks either.

It's not corny at all. Thanks for believing in. Right now it's hard because I don't believe in myself, since I don't know what to believe in anymore.

It doesn't matter what age you are, 17, 25 or even 50, the heart operates just the same.

Thanks for taking time to reply. It helps knowing people out there care. I tell myself it takes time, but damn, time moves so fast and slow for me.

You got to love yourself now and pamper yourself. Have you ever watched that Gene Simmons show? Lol the guy thinks he is all that. You have to do that. Go out, buy some movies or games you've always wanted. Buy some new clothes, maybe hair gel, give yourself a new look if you want then look at yourself in a mirror for like 5 minutes and just say out loud *DAMN I AM ALL THAT, I can sleep with Jessica Alba if I wanted to* Think of yourself that you are the best damn thing on the planet right now. Think highly of yourself.

I just saw my ex walking with another guy in close company. Not hand in hand but close enough to have contact with one another. No male and female friends can be that close. Sure ti could be a friend or whatever platonic relationship. But I don't want to kidmyself. She said she don't know what she wants, but that kiled me. I feel like and even more distrusting of my own feelings and of what to believe. I was preparing myself for this, but so soon? 4 weeks. Is that sh^t. I guess it can be viewed as closure, but I still have strong feelings. What does he have that I don't got. This maybe the wrong avenue to go down, but I can't help it. It's already been a hard enough month for me. This blow might be the one to take me down for the count. I;m in a hole world of hrt right now mixed with confusion and sadness. How could she do this?

That's the one million dollar question. How can they do it? I still ask myself that question. What hurts is when you know that you are 10,000 times better then the person they end up with. The only thing she has on me is the ability to give him a child but in the process he gets to help raise the other four she already has. Well two of them she lost custody of so I guess he doesn't have to worry about them. My point is hang in there and take satisfaction in knowing that when they finally realize that they had the best of the best and walked away, we will be over them.

Here, listen pal.. I'm in the same boat. I was with my girlfriend for 2 years, we were very dependent on each other and spent all our free time together. We are seeing each other at the minute again (I went 1 month with NC), but in our free time she doesn't want to meet up and when I'm feeling down about her I would ring her up and tell her how I feel.. she would act like she doesn't care and boy, does that hurt.

I have decided to end it completely. I sent a text last night to tell her that it was over completely but she refused to believe it and rung me late last night and kind of changed my mind abit. I said some very needy stuff to her, which I regret but today is going to be my first day of NC.. I sent that text and that's still in operation.

I know how it feels. You look at pictures of her and you hurt because you're not going to get that back.. you think of your memories together and what she said to you and you feel hurt because she doesn't feel that way any more. It eases through time, me and my girlfriend broke up 4 months ago and even though I feel hurt, it doesn't hurt anywhere near as bad. I just wish when I was a month into NC that I didn't respond back to her messages.

Didn't read much here but if you were in a long term relationship its going to take many people, not all, a long time to 'bounce back'. For some years, some months and others weeks.

The best thing you can do is to go No Contact, delete msn's, contact details, facebooks etc. No late night texting then :)! Put all reminders of your ex in a box and hide it somewhere to gather dust.

Treat your brakeup as a kick up the to go out and change your life. Why not try a new sport, go travelling or do something you've allways wanted to do but never managed.

In time you will become indifferent to your ex. But with constant contact you won't ever get that. Don't be tempted to brake NC as ignorance really is bliss. Stay away from that ever present grape vine of mutual friends or people who know said ex.

Keep busy and plan some things to look forward to. Work on yourself and get fit and healthy so you're the one who benefits from the brake up not your ex!

The sweetest revenge is to be happy,

The NC is hard to do since we have class together, and it's a small class. I think we are being courteousy and try to be friendly. But I can't believe what she says. Actions speak louder than words. I wish I didn't see her with that guy, but now I know.

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Originally Posted by needofhelp

I just saw my ex walking with another guy in close company. I was preparing myself for this, but so soon? 4 weeks. is that sh^t.

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At 19, girls are not women yet. They change like the wind. One day she likes this guy, the next day this other guy, whatever. Don't give her any satisfaction, she'll repond most likely to you not paying attention to her.

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Originally Posted by LivingtheLifeinFLA

At 19, girls are not women yet. They change like the wind. One day she likes this guy, the next day this other guy, whatever. Don't give her any satisfaction, she'll repond most likely to you not paying attention to her.

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She's 23 and Im 25. And you are right, she changed just like the wind which blew me off my feet. I couldn't believe the situation, and couldn't trust my heart. It's true that relationships are a two way street.

I'm feeling sick to my stomach, just thinking about her with another guy. This is horrible

What can you guys do, when you can't even get her out of your mind when you are sleeping? I dreamt about her and cried in my sleep. Make this end. I have no peace.

Jump on a bouncy castle then you will truly bounce back!

On a serious note. My ex is probably having a hot bed session with her new BF, sweaty pumping action. You know what? So what.

I am having far too much fun, my life is so much more fufilling that hers ever will be. Make yours the same. The problem is you obviously made this ex so much of your life you have nothing else to live for. So change that around.

In time I promise it will get easier. It will take a while but stick at it and you will be fine :) :) :)

PLEASE NC, WORK ON YOU, there is so much in the world to do. So do some new things, go to the gym, Improve yourself so much so that One day when you don't even care she will run into you and she will see, MY GOD WHAT DID I LET GO?

I had my own life, but we did spend a lot of time together. I'm just in shock that it turned out the way it did, since we both said we wanted the same things.

How do I work on me, when my mind is so clouded? I can't think straight sometimes. I thnk about her even when I'm sleeping. I'm having trouble even going out because I think how great of a time she is probably having without me. Im really screwed in the head.

Hey man I feel your pain, I am right there with you. I feel pretty much the same way after almost 7 weeks. There is nothing wrong with you, its normal. I have come to realize things about myself that I never really knew but it doesn't make the feeling any better. I still miss her, still love her and still want her back. Right now its hard to accept that its not possible, but that's the only way you can start to heal and move on. Don't think you lost her forever, because we don't know that. Just look at it like you aren't together now, so take time for yourself, do things that you like. She is her own person, I strongly believe after 4 years they won't forget about us and stop loving us. Do I understand fully why she doesn't want to be with me? NO, but I guess we both have to accept it for now. Just know you aren't alone, we will get through these times and be better off eventually, with them or not.