My ex and I were together 18 years She left me 14 times (BPD).
I never cheated on her alhough every time she split I did get with people. Sometimes very full on. Every time we got back together I remained faithful.
Whenever we were together and argued, she punished me for hese relationships and branded me as a cheater.?.
She split again 3 months ago and as usual have found a very beautiful lady to share my life. Ex doesn't know yet.
It seems she doesn't want me but doesn't want anybody else to have me either.
My ex is definitely my poison. Someone whom I will always love but not necessarity be in love with.
What is the go team? Why does she act this way. I know she has low self esteem but crikey, it really messes with my head and I am in fear that when she finds out about my newby she will act pyschotic as she usually does.
Your thoughts please!

Are you in a relationship anymore? No! You need to either choose between the new girl or the old one, but being in between is doing all three of you an injustice.
The old one wants you so that she can have someone to fall back on if her life just absolutely sucks... and you're better than that.

It would be a waste of time to go back she will never break the cycle cause she will always think that all she has to do is want you back and you will be there so she will continue breaking up. Realize it is time to settle down and have a real relationship rather than having to uproot your life because of her wims that is totally inconsiderate to YOU!