Well, I met him 4 months ago and we have been friends since then. I guess I started to have feelings for him and I know that he does too. One night we were drinking at home and I get a little too buzzed, and we did it. A few days later he called and we start talking about what if I got pregnant... we are both financially stable and in our thirties, ready to start a family type. A week later we met at a coffee shop, he proposed the idea that we try to get pregnant, and we will work on the relationship. I really really like him. I love his personality, and the physical attraction. But to bring a child into the world is a big decision, I am really confused. Help.

Okay, if he says lets get pregnant and then work on the relationship... he is still buzzed. Children and raising children can be a huge strain on people. If you don't have a solid relationship going in, it won't last. I would run, not walk from this fellow. He obviously has no clue about life and likes the concept of kids but is not prepared for the reality. Think about this... if it does happen like he plans... have kids then work on relationship. What happens if he changes his mind after you have the kids? There is nothing to force him to stay. Are you prepared to be a single mom? Once you have kids with someone, they are in your life forever. What you think of this man now may change in 3, 6 or even 12 months. Kids are not something you can sit on a shelf and ignore when they get to be not fun. Kids need stability... a stable house... a couple with a strong relationship to raise them. Please sweetie, rethink this offer. Think of the realities, not just the dream.

Bringing a child into this world is a big responsibility, as you say. I believe that is better to start with the relationship and then decide if you are going to have children. 4 month is too short to decide. Don't you think?

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Originally Posted by jmagoec

well, i met him 4 months ago and . . . a few days later he called and we start talking about what if i got pregnant ..... ... a week later we met at a coffee shop, he proposed the idea that we try to get pregnant, and we will work on the relationship. i really really like him. i love his personality, and the physical attraction. but to bring a child into the world is a big decision, i am really confused. help.

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Run, don't walk, away from this man. A lot of guys are turned on by the idea of getting a woman pregnant. I've had guys say that to me. But 99.9% of them know it's just a fantasy and would never act on it. Any man who would act on that impulse is really bad news. Totally irresponsible to propose such a thing. The fact that you are confused by him is a bad sign too. He is probably manipulative and definitely has serious problems respecting boundaries. Do NOT get pregnant! And please seriously consider breaking up with him if you can bring yourself to do it. You don't have to give him a reason. Get away from him! Take care of yourself.
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