Originally Posted by sunflower88
I met K 4 months ago through an online friends network and we clicked instantly. He was doing his phd and i have mine, so we had intellectual interests to start off with. He stated in his profile he was single and had visited my country and loved it. we became fast friends and started webcams and telephone calls. within a month, he asked me to be his gf and i said yes. I thought this could lead to something, since he was available and didnt live too far from my country. We became really really good friends and chatted a lot.
he had some funny habits tho. he said he didnt have a home phone, and turns his mobile off in the evenings and weekends cos he had to study and didnt wanna be disturbed by telemarketers. he also didnt have international coverage so he couldnt call or text me.
i half-joked a few times that he was probably married, and he said no. and he is always busy and stressed. always.
when i talk with him, i feel so special. he tells me he loves me, that he is righteous, and that he would do right by me, and i have nothing to be ashamed of of him and his family. Once when I called him, his parents were there and he let me talk to them. Ive never seen them tho. he also told me that he had told his friends about me.
one day, I called up one of his friends because he went MIA and I was worried. his friend asked me what the nature our rel was. I told him that we loved each other and then i find out that K is married with 2 young kids, one with a handicap. and the friend tells me that he does have a home phone, and that according to him , K told him that we were colleagues and met in a conference. Not what he had told me he had told his friend. and his friend had not idea about us.
i was robbed of my chance to confront him,because K writes me a quick email to tell me that he had to disappear and cut off all ties, for my own protection. he then proceeds to tell me in the letter that he is married but only paper. he and his wife lead separate lives and that he is unhappy in the marriage and he goes online and say that he is single to see if there are any decent women out there to restore his faith in women. and that he hadnt planned on finding me, and falling in love with me. says that he wanted to tell me the truth so many times, but couldnt because of the shame. that if he told me, id run like hell. says
that he was sorry and that he loved me and didnt want to lose me.
we managed to meet online and discussed this. I was shocked and told him im not mistress or other woman material. To which he said, that I couldnt really be a mistress since we never had sex. he said he had told his wife about me and he was preparing his children
for him leaving, since they dont see much of him anyways. that he was going to move here to make things work with me. says he and his wife had been separated before and that it was just a matter of time before they divorce but not yet cos it was complicated. but he said his parents knew about me and how serious he was about me.
i told him not to visit me until he got his divorce, that it wouldnt be right or fair to the wife. he said he couldnt initiate it, in all reality, till he was done with his phd(which would be in a year or so), or she would make his life a living hell and stress him out (he still lives in the same house but in the study, so he tells me). i told him fine, but please move out ,so that the situation wouldnt become so messy. at least not be living together. he said he would.
we continue to keep in touch and one day he sends me an affectionate email, nothing big, just the thinking of me kind of email. then BOOM, i heard NOTHING from him for 3 weeks. I wrote him but nothing. id call his mobile but no answer. then i called the friend and he
says that he'd spoken to K just the day before in his home. I then call the home (i found his number via another means) and I recognised his voice when he answered. when i identified myself, he just pretended he didnt hear me and hung up. called back. hung up
again.
it really floored me why he suddenly cut me off, after that email. what did i do? what happened? we had been such good friends and i thought i deserved better than that. so i wrote to ask him. he writes back and says he had to disappear. that he had changed his mobile number, hadnt been home for a month, that the wife moved out and new people moved in and that he was sorry but it had to be done for his self-preservation, that he couldnt explain it at the moment, that i cannot possible understand, and that he isnt using his email accounts cos they were being monitored so dont write there. very Alias.
this time i told him i didnt believe his crap and he writes back to say that he was sorry i didnt believe him and that it was my loss in the long run. and i have not contacted him since.
I have since found out that he has created another profile online stating that he is single. and that he hasnt moved away, that he does use the accounts that he said were "monitored" and although i havent tried to call him mobile or home, i dont think they have
changed. he will probably not pick up when he sees the caller id.
i dont know what i did, for him to just cut me off with no warning, especially if he said he loved me. he told me that he would never lie to me again. or is it so far fetched that he could actually be telling the truth?
maybe it's me. did i cling to tightly? should i have just let him be and let him come to me when he did what he said he was going to do?
is it all a ruse to keep me at bay until he gets divorced, finish his phd, and move here? or am i deluding myself? is he a liar or is he righteous?
