I need help! Does anyone have any tips on how I can make my husband "want" me or get aroused?! I have worn the lingerie and I've bought the toys and tried giving him what he wants, but we seem to only have sex when he wants it!! Any sugguestions?! Tips from men would be nice :)

Ask him. You need to talk to him to find out what he wants/likes. A relationship without communication isn't much of a relationship at all.

Also don't forget to explain how you feel when you only have sex when he wants.

Good Luck

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Originally Posted by trying4babykirk

i need help! does anyone have any tips on how i can make my husband "want" me or get aroused?!? i have worn the lingerie and ive bought the toys and tried giving him what he wants, but we seem to only have sex when he wants it!?!? any sugguestions?!? tips from men would be nice :)

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I have a lot of friends who have had this dilemma and it's always the same outcome. They find out little strategies to get their mans attention sexually but they are all short lived and wear off. I find that feeling desirable and feeling sexy is the most important thing of all. Wearing lingerie is just as much about making yourself feel erotic as it is about pleasing the mans visual senses. Not making yourself too available also, if he only wants sex now and then and not when you want it as well, then let him know what that's like by resisting him from time to time when he comes on to you.

Going for the 5 senses is important to,
Sight: keeping the room clear of family pics, kiddies drawings etc these are lovely things but sex mood killers. Work with different colour schemes like maroons and deep reds in various shades to add a sense of passion and darkness to the room.etc
Smell: keep shoes and laundry out of the room and anything else smelly, ventilate the room often and keep it fresh.
Touch: Avoid itchy bedding and keep the bed comfy
Taste: Good clean breath, clean soft skin and hygiene make a person more enticing
Sound: turn off the tele, take the phone off the hook and turn down the mobiles if you get the chance before having sex, interruptions are mood killers. Good music in the back ground helps but not too loud because guys tend t be aroused by all the sex noises during intercourse.

Getting back to being friends, putting bills, family, kids etc aside from time to time and just being buddies teasing each other, flirting and having a good laugh and some fun is really important as well as sharing in his interests now and then because a guy won't be aroused by someone unless he can associate them in his mind with fun and pleasure.

All the best
Atryla

I think the real issue is how you feel about yourself-do you feel sexy? A man picks up on a woman who is not into herself because if you aren't, then the man does not feel there's any worthwhile reason to explore/chase-keep a little mystry but don't be too stand offish. I think you are probably doing fine, just relax and have some time to pamper yourself-your man will see this-if he still is wanting you that is.

I think you should ask him if he masturbates (jerks off, jacks off, etc) or watches porn. That can really lower his libido. If he didn't for a while before having sex he would probably be much more turned on, because his hormonal needs haven't been taken care of otherwise.