:confused: I recently cheated on my boyfriend of 4 months he's in love with me I know that for sure however I went and slept with my ex lover. I know I need to tell him but don't know how or where? I'm afraid he might do something to hurt me or himself. He's unpredictable. But I know this is going to kill him. I need to know what to do?? Please help.

Hi,
If you are afraid of your boyfriend, then don't tell him. You aren't engaged, aren't married, so "cheating" might not be the best word to use. Sounds like you just want to "run around" some, and your boyfriend of 4 mo. Isn't going to like it.
Have you considered not even having a real boyfriend? Then, you can be with whoever you want.
Again, I wouldn't tell him, because it's just going to upset him. He might possibly find out about it anyway, if your ex is a blabber mouth.
I do wish you good luck.

You don't have to tell him. But end it with him. Obviusly yiou do not respect him one bit. So end it.

Wildcat I need to tell him he knows something is wrong an I can't break up with him for no reason. Your right I must not respect him however I do care about him. I know I was so wrong and I do feel so bad about it. What's going to be my reason for breaking up with him if I don't tell him the truth? I think he deserves that!! :(

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Originally Posted by fredg

Hi,
If you are afraid of your boyfriend, then don't tell him. You aren't engaged, aren't married, so "cheating" might not be the best word to use. Sounds like you just want to "run around" some, and your boyfriend of 4 mo. isn't going to like it.
Have you considered not even having a real boyfriend? Then, you can be with whoever you want.
Again, I wouldn't tell him, because it's just going to upset him. He might possibly find out about it anyway, if your ex is a blabber mouth.
I do wish you good luck.

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I still need to end things with him though I can't stay with him after what I've done. I just don't know what my reason is going to be for that.

Well, just tell him you don't want a boyfriend right now - too much going on in your life.

This guy needs to learn not to come on too strong. He sounds like he is needy and clingy and too desperate.

This guy needs to grow up anyway - you're actually helping him.

He shouldn't be in love with you after 4 months. Sounds like a 'nice guy'.

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Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Well, just tell him you don't want a boyfriend right now - too much going on in your life.

This guy needs to learn not to come on too strong. He sounds like he is needy and clingy and too desperate.

This guy needs to grow up anyway - you're actually helping him.

He shouldn't be in love with you after 4 months. Sounds liek a 'nice guy'.

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Thank you wildcat that makes more sense that's wats been going round in my head. I've decided to do it tonight so il get back to you later and let you know how I get on. I know I don't deserve any sympathy for what I done but your right he is extremely needy an clingy. Lets hope he takes this well.

You guys (ladies) all worry about the guys feelings. Remember to think of yourself as well. If he isn't doing it for you... get out - take sometime. If you cheated on him he wouldn't want to be with you anyway. Think of yurself as well.

Don't use the word space... dumbest thing I have ever heard.

If you cheated on him you don't want to be with him anyway. There is something majorly wrong with your relationship.

I Broke Up With My Boyfriend And It Was The Most Worst Thing I Could have Done On Him. Its Good In The Way Im Away From Him But He Went Insane... An Now He Won't Leave Me Alone. Had To Get My Brothers To Threaten Him So Hes Got The Message!! Well Thanks For The Advice Evry1 An Hope All Your Getting On Ok...

He is not the guy for you. He is way too imature - he should have been cool with it and walked away. No contact. You seem to know more what's going on.

At least you saw that now.

I have a strong feeling you have not heard the last him.

That's why it may have been better to tell him you cheated/wanted to be with anotherguy - at least he would have a reason in his own mind not to like you.

He has 'nice guy' syndrom. Wish I could help him on this. He thought he was turning you on with all the attention and he is actually turning you WAY off.

I hope after several months he understands what happened. Hopefully he learns from it.

If you're really that afraid of how he'll react then you may be better off not telling him. A more fundamental question is why did you go back and sleep with your ex? You need to seriously rethink any commitment you may have made or be planning to make with this guy. If you're still carrying a torch for an ex, then it's only fair to stay out of any kind of relationship with any other guys. You should break this one off. Make up some excuse to him that places the onus strictly on you, e.g. "I'm dealing with a lot of personal problems right now and I don't want to drag you into all of this." If he's led to believe that the problem is strictly with you, that may pervent him from overreacting, which I'm sure you'd be worried about happening if he's as unpredictable as you suggest. As long as you're still carrying a tourch for your ex, it's not fair to bring anyone else into it. Resolve whatever issues you have before getting involved with anyone else.