Ask Me Help Desk - Argh 9 months later.

Well stupid me I looked at my ex's face book. She has another BF, second one I know about it in 9 months. Saw all the little comments from her and him. Wow it hit me harder than I thought it would. I been in NC for 3 months now, no conatct from her or my side.

I secretly hoped she would see what she had lost and come back. Nope! Wow this life is just a constant painful experience. Aren't the first loves allways the hardest to get over? I guess it shows she can't survive alone and she is a slut. Well I think that, probably best to have a 0 % opinion of your past. I know if I see her in the next year or so I will totally be indifferent. "Hi, see ya!"

Second thoughts though every day is easier, really busy with uni and work! I guess its only a tempory knock back, now debating whether to remove her from my Facebook. I should do really but can't. Its an ego thing I guess wanting them to know how good your life is?

This again shows everyone the power of ignorance is bliss! NC, deletion from the start of your brake up should be done. Don't want to put anyone down who have just finished but it does get a hell of a lot easier.

Edit: deleted her of my Facebook, pictures of us, all her friends and family. :) :) Hope I did the right thing. God... shud have done it along timke ago.

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now debating whether to remove her from my Facebook

Dude, just do it! I wanted my ex back for 2 months! I didn't pester her, I kept her on my MSN and myspace, and I didn't follow the "no contact rule" and talked to her almost everyday.

She gave so many mixed signals to me that she missed me, but mostly convos were brief and casual. She got insanely jelous whenever she found me sending overtly "friendly" messages to other girls on myspace.

One day I said fook it, had enough of leaving me hanging not knowing what she wanted and decided to block and delete her from msn and myspace. She noticed and sent a really long message saying how upset she was. I waited a few days and sent a message back reminding her of the good times we had and how I will always love her. Though she hurt me, I wanted to leave in a good light :)

Week later she pratically begged me to come back. Said she had been crying and down all week because she missed me so much. Said she read my message and straight after just thought "well, this is what I want." I'm back with her now, and its been 2 weeks and things have been rocky. Guess what -- I thought I would be happy when if I had her back, but in all honesty, I'm not. She feels reserved and cold -- not the old caring girl I use to know.

Is this the power of NC? I don't know. But it certainly seemed to help.

I'm sorry to hear it hasn't helped in your case. But everyday it will get that much easier, and soon your find yourself not caring what she's up to. My advice to you; don't go looking for things to upset yourself, aka on her Facebook. Many times I went onto her myspace and saw things that ate me alive.

Hang in there. Your doing great, honestly. :)

Hah well we got back together twice. After I went NC she wanted to be mates, well I thought I could get her back, didn't work! She snogged guys in front of me and had another boyfriend in no time. Well I can guarantee I won't here from her again. Hopefully in a year or so after travelling and seeing what the world has to offer ill be back here telling you all how wonderful life is :)

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Originally Posted by Jiser

Well stupid me I looked at my ex's face book. She has another BF, second one I know about it in 9 months. Saw all the little comments from her and him. Wow it hit me harder than I thought it would. I been in NC for 3 months now, no conatct from her or my side.

I secretly hoped she would see what she had lost and come back. Nope! wow this life is just a constant painful experiance. aren't the first loves allways the hardest to get over? I guess it shows she can't survive alone and she is a slut. Well I think that, probably best to have a 0 % opinion of your past. I know if i see her in the next year or so I will totally be indifferent. "Hi, see ya!"

Second thoughts though every day is easier, really busy with uni and work! I guess its only a tempory knock back, now debating whether to remove her from my facebook. I should do really but can't. Its an ego thing I guess wanting them to know how good your life is?

This again shows everyone the power of ignorance is bliss! NC, deletion from the start of your brake up should be done. Don't want to put anyone down who have just finished but it does get a hell of alot easier.

edit: deleted her of my facebook, pictures of us, all her friends and family. :) :) Hope i did the right thing. god...shud have done it along timke ago.

You did the right thing.

Awww Jiser.

That Facebook and myspace are the devil when it comes to an ex. I know exactly what you are going through. Even logging onto Facebook would make me think of my ex, so I almost never log on it (this helped a lot).

Keep up the no contact and be strong. And I wouldn't be too jealous or emotional because two guys in a short time span shows she's not having the greatest relationships anyway.

And the best revenge is to be happy. :) You have to be happy and you have to make yourself better everyday. This is partly to take care of yourself, and partly to torture her when she next sees you. Lol ;)

Remember, if its good enough advice to give someone else, you should probably be following it yourself! I know you've told me many times to cut all contact and I did. Believe me its tempting to check out her Facebook, but I'm so glad I blocked her and her friends so that she doesn't even exist in my Facebook world and I can come across her name/pics/etc.

To those of you wondering, if you go to the security/privacy settings you can add someone to your block list and it completely erases all traces of them, even if you share friends. It's a beautiful tool.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jiser

I guess it shows she can't survive alone and she is a slut.

No, it shows that you two were not for each other, so get over it.

Ahh mate! What happened to the no contact rule you told me about?? You should have deleted her off your Facebook straight away like I did! Its only been 2 weeks for me and I've still made no effort to get in touch at all, I'm so proud of myself!
You'll be fine your good with your advise so start using it on you... Onwards and upwards!!