I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year. Although I know he loves me, I feel more insecure than I ever have in my whole life. I am starting to wonder if despite the fact I love him I should sacrifice this for a quiet life. I literally spend sleepless nights worrying about parties he might go to and things he might do.
I am also concerned he still has a bit of a thing with his ex. I knew him when he was going out with her and he used to go on about how good looking she was. I know he has some saucy text messages saved from when they were together (I really hate this), and that now and again he texts her. I've become obsessed with this idea to the point that I won't talk about anyhting which might remotely remind him of her. For example she is from Scotland, and the other day there was a TV programme on about Scotland which I switched off just in case.
I've come to the conclusion that I hate being in a relationship as before this I was confident, independent and sexy, and now I just feel insecure and needy.
Can anyone offer words of wisdom? It's really becoming a depressing feature of my life, but I'm scared at the same time to walk away from someone I love.
Sara

Dear SaraLou,

I don't know how old your are, but you will find someone someday that will make you happy. If this guy is not for you 100%, then move on [if he still text messages his old girlfriend, then something is wrong and you should run, not walk, away from him]. When you meet the right guy, you will no longer feel unhappy, insecure or like you need to lie in order to please him. You'll just know its right! An old cliche', but it is TRUE.

Hoping for the best for you!

I experienced something similar. His behavior is stirring your fears. If you had talked to him about it and he dismisses you, you won't be able to turn things around, but actually you will hurt yourself esteem badly. It doesn't matter if you love him, what matters now is if he can love you the way you deserve to be loved, where love and respect go together. One year of misery is more than enough!
Love yourself first!
Good luck