Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Jokes (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=385)
-   -   You got to Read These! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=140341)

  • Oct 13, 2007, 05:27 PM
    Clough
    You Got to Read These!
    The World's Shortest Books:

    THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
    by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan.
    Illustrated by Michael Moore

    _______________________

    MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS & HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
    by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton

    _______________________

    THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
    by Hillary Clinton

    _______________________

    Sequel:
    THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
    by Bill Clinton

    _______________________

    MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE
    by Osama Bin Laden

    _______________________

    THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
    by Bill Gates

    _______________________

    THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
    by Dennis Rodman

    _______________________

    THINGS I KNOW TO BE TRUE
    by Al Gore & John Kerry

    _______________________

    AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC

    _______________________

    A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
    by Dr. J. Kevorkian

    _______________________

    ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE
    by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnel

    _______________________

    GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
    by Mike Tyson

    _______________________

    THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

    _______________________

    MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
    by O. J. Simpson

    _______________________

    HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE OVER BRIDGES
    by Ted Kennedy

    _______________________

    MY BOOK OF MORALS
    by Bill Clinton
    with introduction by The Rev. Jesse Jackson

    _______________________

    AND, JUST ADDED:

    Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy!
    by Nancy Pelosi
  • Oct 13, 2007, 05:31 PM
    shygrneyzs
    LMAO. Where did you find such a treasure? I am rushing to amazon.com and see if I can get my copies before they all get sold out. Lol.

    Thanks so much for posting this. What a riot! That book by Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton must be one of those five minute readers.
  • Oct 13, 2007, 05:36 PM
    CaptainRich
    Now, here is book club I can be down with! PMSL!!
    Hard cover or paperback... these are going to be on the best dwellers list...
  • Oct 13, 2007, 06:12 PM
    Ash123
    Some more very short books AND their accompanying movie adaptations:


    1) The complete Iraqi WMD photo album
    By Donald Rumsfeld

    Original title: "Don't look at me! I thought WMD's were a deli sandwich!"

    A great short film as well: YouTube - RUMSFELD'S BEST

    2) What I recall about the firing of 7 US Attorneys
    By Alberto Gonzales

    Also released in Poland under the title: "Hey, I was told they were all just getting canned for sexual reasons!"

    The film: YouTube - I Don't Recall - Alberto Gonzales Hearing

    3) Field hunting safety manual for bird shooting
    By Richard "D" Cheney

    Original title: "On second thought, he did look pretty well dressed - for a quail!"

    YouTube - *EXCLUSIVE VIDEO!* Cheney Hunting

    4) The Post-Katrina Action manual - rolled up sleeves included
    Also penned by Richard Cheney and "Brownie"

    Was originally titled: "That low pressure system does look a bit...large!"

    Film Version: YouTube - Heck of a job Brownie

    4B) The Sequel: YouTube - Cheney - Go Yourself

    4) The complete Bathroom Etiquette guide
    Senator Craig (Idaho)

    In France it roughly translates to: "The subtle allure of a wide stance."

    The Short film: YouTube - If Larry Craig were Gay

    5) I Have a Plan
    By George Bush

    (Sometimes confused with I have a dream.)

    Original title: "Mission Accomplished."

    And the film version by Dave Chapelle: YouTube - BLACK BUSH
  • Oct 13, 2007, 07:54 PM
    Clough
    [QUOTE=shygrneyzs]LMAO. Where did you find such a treasure?QUOTE]

    I'm glad that you liked them! A friend emailed them to me just tonight.
  • Oct 13, 2007, 07:57 PM
    Clough
    What a riot! I especially like the titles in numbers 4 and 5!

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Ash123

    4) The complete Bathroom Etiquette guide
    Senator Craig (Idaho)

    In paperbook in England it's simply titled: "The subtle allure of a wide stance."

    5) I Have a Plan
    By George Bush

    (Sometimes confused with I have a dream.)

    Original title: "Mission Accomplished."

  • Oct 13, 2007, 08:01 PM
    Ash123
    Thx.

    Was a spontaneous writing... Most things I do have to pass network censors :-)
  • Oct 14, 2007, 12:11 PM
    N0help4u
    LOL I want to join the book club just to read the titles I wish I could think up things like that!

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:04 AM.