So I haven't been on here for a while now.
And last time I was on I was heartbroken and controlled.
BUT I have some questions.
Please help me answer.
Okay well to make a long story short, I'm 16 and just recently met my Father.
He ran from me when I was little, I got really sick recently and my mom called him because I wanted to talk to him.
But see before when I used to call he'd ignore.
Anyway, I met him and all he did was say mean and hurtful things about my mom.
Talk about my beliefs in Jesus Christ, and he tried changing me.
Now he tells me "since you have a white boyfriend, i'm just going to let him be the man of your life and leave alone"
Once I got an email for him saying go away, just because I'm part white!
Now he's trying to be nice, but every now and then there's something hateful.
What do I do?
I'm not leaving my boyfriend just because he's white, and I'm not going to betray my mom who has taken care of me my whole life.
But I want a Father...

If he can't love you for who you are and respect your decision even if he were in your life
It doesn't sound like he would be encouraging and supportive. Can you spend an hour or a day with your dad and tell him how you feel and ask him why it seems so hard for him to just be a supportive dad and be there for you?

It sounds that your father has some real issue's ! After being away from your life for so long he has no right to be coming about and doing the things he does.

You need to talk straight to him and let him know that what he says hurts you deep and that you would like to be in contact with him but only if he cuts all the nasty crap out !

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kamria

So I havent been on here for a while now.
And last time i was on i was heartbroken and controlled.
BUT i have some questions.
please help me answer.
okay well to make a long story short, im 16 and just recently met my Father.
He ran from me when i was little, i got really sick recently and my mom called him because i wanted to talk to him.
But see before when i used to call he'd ignore.
anyways, i met him and all he did was say mean and hurtful things about my mom.
Talk about my beliefs in Jesus Christ, and he tried changing me.
Now he tells me "since you have a white boyfriend, i'm just going to let him be the man of your life and leave alone"
Once i got an email for him saying go away, just because im part white!
now he's trying to be nice, but every now and then theres something hateful.
What do i do?
im not leaving my boyfriend just because he's white, and im not going to betray my mom who has taken care of me my whole life.
But i want a Father...

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Sweet heart do what your heart tells you... That is what is more important...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

If he can't love you for who you are and respect your decision even if he were in your life
it doesn't sound like he would be encouraging and supportive. Can you spend an hour or a day with your dad and tell him how you feel and ask him why it seems so hard for him to just be a supportive dad and be there for you?

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Thank you for the advice.
I write him a long email every day.
And tell him
I just want you to love me and accept me cause I'm your daughter.
But he says well I bet your mother is behind this and she is telling you to say this.
And he tells me to never contact him
Then writes me more hateful things with in the next couple days
I want my own father not anyone else's.
I just wish he knew how much I cared.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bubbler

It sounds that your father has some real issue's ! After being away from your life for so long he has no right to be coming about and doing the things he does.

You need to talk straight to him and let him know that what he says hurts you deep and that you would like to be in contact with him but only if he cuts all the nasty crap out !

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I told him, I was like Dad please lets just put this behind us and accept each other.
You're my dad I'm your daughter.
He's like well you need to know the truth about your mother
But my mom has taken care of me my whole entire life. You know?
Thank you for the advice.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JMHSJJ

Sweet heart do what your heart tells you...... That is what is more important....

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My heart tells me to go for him, try to keep him in my life.
But my mind tells me get rid of him he's just hurting you.

Have you told him the EXACT reason why you want to talk to him? Have you explained that this has nothing to do with your mom?

He sounds like he is very suspicious of your mother, rather than hating you-it is just manifesting this way. Why should he feel that a white boy is such an issue-is he having the relationship with him?? Perhaps you might say theat a girl needs her father to be a great example of the type of man he would want her to date-at the moment, he is a bad example. He would do better to have you in his life without the racism etc.

A girl NEEDs her father to be a place to fall if she gets hurt-tell him "you dad, could be the best person to tell me "I told you so" if your BF breaks up with you.-Tell him YOU want him-ask him why does he not seem to want his daughter who is really desperate for a father's love?? What's his problem?

If he says leave him alone one more time, then maybe it will be a better decision?

I wish I cold help you better, you sound like a great daughter-that any father would be proud of.

Best wishes.