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-   -   Am I wrong to think way? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=139993)

  • Oct 12, 2007, 01:10 PM
    nick88
    Am I wrong to think way?
    Okay so here is my problem.

    I see my boyfriend everyday and I'v been going out with him for a year now. Im always with him and I bring him everywhere with me. In the beginning of the relationship I always wanted to be with him and if he couldn't go somewer with me then I wouldn't go. But Lately I've been feeling like I should have my own space and be with my friends but I'm hardly with them. So the situation is that during the past week I didn't see him for two days and now I'm not going to see him this weekend because I'm going away with my friends. He is furious and upset by this because he says that I don't care and that he never does this to me. Wen his friends ask him to go somewhere he always asks if I can go and if I can't then he wouldn't go. He rather stay with me. That is sweet of him but sometimes I feel like I need my own space and just get away. His friends hate him now because he is always with me but I always tell him that if he wants to go with his friends I wouldn't get mad and that he can go. His repsonse to that is that what he wants is just to be with me; he doesn't care about anything else. Because he can't come with me for the weekend, I'm still going because I want to go and be with my friends. But he rather me just not go because he can't go. He thinks that I'm messed up because I think like this. Am I wrong to think this way?
  • Oct 12, 2007, 02:02 PM
    savedsinner7
    If a guy can't handle you not always being there, he is very insecure. Speaking from personal experience, an insecure boyfriend turns into someone who is jealous and jealousy can lead to abuse. A healthy relationship is one in which BOTH people are allowed and encouraged to have separate interests and do things apart from one another.
  • Oct 12, 2007, 02:45 PM
    talaniman
    You both should do your own thing. Is this the same guy who was demeaning and disrespectful?
  • Oct 12, 2007, 02:52 PM
    s_cianci
    No, you're not wrong. Everybody needs their space. Many threads on this forum all address the same issue and how important it is to not make any one person your entire life. It sounds like you initially made that mistake but have since learned from it, while your boyfriend continues to make that mistake. Try talking with your boyfriend and explaining this to him. Emphasize that you don't want to end the relationship but it's important to give each other your own personal space.
  • Oct 12, 2007, 06:12 PM
    forever in flight
    No way, you both went through the clingy stage but he is still in it and you are not. You need to balance between friends and your boyfriend.
  • Oct 12, 2007, 07:47 PM
    statictable
    Sounds like the "constant togetherness" was born the day you started going with him and it continued beyond a year. This has become part of your life and his so it will take time and patience for him to be comfortable with this change. No one's fault; just poor communications.

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