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-   -   Has my trust been violated by a friend? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=139945)

  • Oct 12, 2007, 10:26 AM
    sub
    Has my trust been violated by a friend?
    I have a friend who is also my physician (gyno). We became close friends due to my rocky marriage. I began to confine in my physician about my personal life due to him asking me personal questions on my relationship. He does tend to get too personal but I still find myself telling him details of whatever he wants to know. He tells me things about his marriage and problems he goes through. There is no sexual contact by the way us. He recently asked me did I know his best friend who is a physician where I work at (I'm a RN). I told him yeah. I see him all the time and work with him often. Lately his friend has been making sexual advances at me. He has been hitting on me, telling me to call him , etc... I feel kind of violated cause I don't know what sparked this interest all of a suddenly. I haven't mentioned anything to anyone. I didn't tell his friend that my physician and I are friends. I am wondering am I being talked about by the way the two. I have told my phyisician personal things that I don't won't people knowing. My physician has to know my work unit, schedule, and places I work at for no reason. He just says he wants to know. He is very curious about me and then his friend is very weird. What is going on? Has my trust been violated.
  • Oct 12, 2007, 04:30 PM
    N0help4u
    I think so. Maybe you could tell your physician that your marriage is no longer rocky you worked things out to see if that gets back to the other guy.
  • Oct 12, 2007, 04:37 PM
    Homegirl 50
    I think you should just ask him. A lot of unnecessary misunderstanding, hurt and anger occurs because people assume rather than ask. If you two are good friends, then ask him.
  • Oct 12, 2007, 04:49 PM
    supermommy25
    It's possible.. you know how men are, but from personal experience you can't trust any one with your deepest secrets... and you should never tell anyone your personal business unless it is your therapist or something... because they get paid to sit and listen to all your business not your GYN doctor... I know sometime we as women can be chatter boxes when we find some one that will actually listen to us... but He is a man and I just don't think a man can really relate to what your going through as a women... and you should just put the other guy in his place in a nice way of course but, he will continue to make passes at you if you don't say anything... This is just my opinion
  • Oct 12, 2007, 05:03 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Put the one guy in his place, and talk to your friend and put him in his place if need be. But he does need to be told how you feel if he betrayed your confidence.
  • Oct 26, 2007, 01:06 PM
    lacuran8626
    Get a new doctor and stop giving this man any information that is not customarily asked for by a physician.
  • Oct 26, 2007, 01:50 PM
    peggyhill
    If you are good friends, just ask him. I think his questions about your marriage etc, are out of line for a doctor. Were you friends before you went to him for medical care or did your friendship start in the doctor's office? If you weren't friends before, he has no right to ask you about that stuff. If he asks you a question you think is too personal, tell him so. If it were me, I would find another doctor. I guess that's just me though. If you really like him and he is a good doctor and you want to stick with him, you should ask him and see what his reaction is. Hope that helps!
  • Oct 26, 2007, 03:22 PM
    shygrneyzs
    Have you ever told anyone else at your work about your personal life? I worked in hospitals and know the gossip mill runs high and deep - so things do get around, even misunderstood or half heard things. It could be coming from your gyn and it could not. I would say more than 50% chance that it is, unless you are absolutely 100% positive that you have never breathed a word to anyone else in that hospital or clinic that is dually served by that hospital.

    But talk to your gyn - telling him that your marriage is patched up and great is a good idea - then you will see what happens next. Also, just being direct never hurt anyone - it cuts the middle man and any misunderstandings. Talk to this doctor and tell him you are happily married and if he continues you will report him to the ethics board. If he persists, call an attorney to see about sexual harassment.

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