Ask Me Help Desk - Custody Battle Questions

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Custody Battle Questions

My ex-bf and I are in a bit of a custody battle over our 5 1/2 month old daughter (we live in FL)... and it really is due to his mother, who currently is not coming to see her grandaughter since we have made it clear, that, due to her actions, she is not welcome in the house. There is no legal document that states that my ex-bf is my daughter's father, he never signed the birth certificate, so he is going to do DNA tests later this month...

I have several questions.

First off, in a moment of sheer and utter stupidity, I agreed to give our child his last name, and now he is refusing to change it to hyphenate it. Do I need him to sign the paper to change it, since he never signed the birth certificate?

Secondly, Is there any way that I could prevent his mother from seeing our daughter? (Including if he took her back to his house)

Third, If he does get the right to take her back to his house for visitation, am I required to supply anything (ie diapers, formula bottles, etc... ), or is he to have this onhand, up to and including a crib for her to sleep in?

Please help!

I don't really know much information about law so nothing I say should be done without consulting an attorney first. I am just telling you what I would do.

Here are the steps I would take. I would look into changing the last name to mine before he proves paternity. This may be expensive I'm not sure.

You would have to have a reasonable clause for his mother not to see the child, but yes you could prevent his mother from seeing the child. Your reasons would have to be extremely persuasive. The judge is not going to prevent her from seeing the child because she is rude or offensive. You would also have to prove your statements about her were not just hearsay and that will be hard to do as well. I am not sure the order would be enforceable even if you did get it.

If you really feel that he and his mother are harmful to you and your baby I would move away before the law prevents you from doing so. The minute you get that order for paternity test you will be in contempt of court if you leave the state.

It would take too long to get the birth certificate changed before the DNA is done. And depending on if the DNA is court ordered it would establish that he is a probable father and I doubt it would be allowed until that issue is settled at the least or without his consent.

If that DNA is court ordered then there is some legal action already in motion and moving away could cost her big time. I would be very careful about doing that.

What babieface said about grandma is most likely true. It is possible but almost impossible to do.

If he does get visitation you are not responsible for providing those things. It is his responsibility to provide everything necessary to care for the baby.

I know this may sound stupid or what ever but your best bet is to get a lawyer ASAP..
The things your asking are all yes answers but you need to do that via a lawyer/court and have a VERY good reason for it.. Something Like "I just dont feel my baby would be safe there" won't cut it at all..
Good luck none the less.

Quote:

Originally Posted by terezita1

My ex-bf and I are in a bit of a custody battle over our 5 1/2 month old daughter (we live in FL)...and it really is due to his mother, who currently is not coming to see her grandaughter since we have made it clear, that, due to her actions, she is not welcome in the house. There is no legal document that states that my ex-bf is my daughter's father, he never signed the birth certificate, so he is going to do DNA tests later this month...

I have several questions.

First off, in a moment of sheer and utter stupidity, I agreed to give our child his last name, and now he is refusing to change it to hyphenate it. Do I need him to sign the paper to change it, since he never signed the birth certificate?

Secondly, Is there any way that I could prevent his mother from seeing our daughter? (Including if he took her back to his house)

Third, If he does get the right to take her back to his house for visitation, am I required to supply anything (ie diapers, formula bottles, etc...), or is he to have this onhand, up to and including a crib for her to sleep in?

Please help!

No you don't have any reason to worry if the courtsaward you sole custody and primary care giver basically a restraining order will prevent anyone from bothering you or the choices you make to raise your child
Always supply the extra litte things, why leave a way to expose your child to an il prepared father

I am unfamiliar with Florida law. I would guess that you could petition for a name change, but the judge would likely delay an order based on paternity tests. Until the dad is proven to be the dad, you can refuse him the right to be with your child. However, if you know he's the dad, this is not in your best interest as a custody seeking parent. Giving a little gets you a lot, always keep that in mind. It is the most reasonable and rational parent that normally prevails. Once paternity is proven, there is nothing you can do to keep your child from you ex-boyfriend's mom unless there is clear evidence that she is a danger to your child or is interfering with your relationship to your child (which is unlikely in the case of a newborn). Of course you should speak to an attorney ASAP.

With the paternity test being done later this month, you could try, but it's probably not going to be enough time to change the child's last name. Once the paternity test is done, and he is proved the father you will have to get his consent to change the child's last name to yours. You can petition on your own, however, to have the last name hyphenated. Even if he doesn't consent, you can take it to the judge and let them decide. With the age of the child it could honestly go either way... a judge may deem it early enough to change the child's name back to yours because the child is so young and hasn't become aware of or become related to the current last name... but at the very least I am almost certain a judge would agree to legally hyphenate the last name.

Unless the grandmother is a danger to the child, you are not going to be able to prevent her from seeing the child, especially on visitation. You will have to prove to a judge that aside from her actions against YOU... she is a danger to the baby. If you cannot prove that then there is really nothing you can do.

During visitation you don't need to supply anything but the child. The father needs to have anything and everything he needs to care for the baby... including a crib or portacrib to sleep in.

I would definitely consult with an attorney though.

Quote:

First off, in a moment of sheer and utter stupidity, I agreed to give our child his last name, and now he is refusing to change it to hyphenate it. Do I need him to sign the paper to change it, since he never signed the birth certificate?

Generally, in situations like this, regardless of what the birth certificate actually says, you can just use a hyphenated last name.

Quote:

Secondly, Is there any way that I could prevent his mother from seeing our daughter? (Including if he took her back to his house)

Unless you can demonstrate that the mother is a danger to the child, no.

Quote:

Third, If he does get the right to take her back to his house for visitation, am I required to supply anything (ie diapers, formula bottles, etc... ), or is he to have this onhand, up to and including a crib for her to sleep in?

If he is going to have overnight visitation, then he needs to provide adequate sleeping accommodations. As for diapers, formula, etc. I don't know if there's any hard-and-fast legal precedent but it would certainly be prudent for both of you to have an adequate supply on hand.

Quote:

Secondly, Is there any way that I could prevent his mother from seeing our daughter? (Including if he took her back to his house)

I am a grandmother who resides in Texas and prior to me getting custody of my grandkids, my son in law COULD keep me from seeing the kids as Grandparents Have No Rights Here, it may be the same in your state as well. The only way I could see the child was if my daughter gave me her visitation time if she wasn't going to visit. It didn't matter if my daughter allowed me to see the child while in her care either. When with the custodial father he could choose not to let me see her. Hope this helps, and good luck. By the way the father HAD to sign off in order to change her last name to mine and he was on her birth certificate.

Same situation I'm going through. I have been looking into several different was around the consent to a name chand thing. The only solution I have found, which I would still confirm with a lawyer about, is filing for legal custody.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmpowell01

Same situation I'm going thru. I have been looking into several different was around the consent to a name chand thing. The only solution I have found, which I would still confirm with a lawyer about, is filing for legal custody.

Again, I have never heard of having custody being enough to legally change a child last name. If that is the law where you live, you need to make that point to the OP.

In Ohio... I have FULL/SOLE legal custody of my daughter. I gave her MY last name at birth because her father and I were not married. She has MY last name and I still have to get his consent before I can legally change it.

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