[F]Me and my boyfriend have been together off and on for two and ahalf yrs. And I am in a tough situation. When I am with him I am the happiest I have ever felt at times but the worst at times to. I am really in love with this guy. So anyway he is always putting me down, like calling me names and any ambitions I have are stupid to him. Nothing I do is right besides have sex with him and that's not even good enough. We might have sex on Monday and he will want is Tuesday. If I don't have sex with him he tells me that I am probably getting it from somewhere else cause I don't want to. Or he will tell me that I am ruining the relationship cause I won't have sex with him. But he's not all bad he can do some of the nicest things for me and be really sweet. Are longest break up was for 2 months, like 2 weeks after we broke up he was having sex with a girl. I didn't mess with anyone cause I couldn't get over him, and I broke up with him so you think it would be the other way around. When I am with him I feel like something's missing in my life and I'm not happy, but I'm not happy without him either. The big red flag for me was that he is so disrespectful to his family, he cusses at them and we live with them. He tells his mom how worthless she is. I just feel like if he treats his family like that, then that will be me if we get married. Because someday I might be his family so is that how he will treat me? Also, he has no job. He says he is too good to work minimum wage, and I get told I am lazy and dumb for working part-time in retail. At least I have a job, I actually hate it but its better to bring some money in than none at all. You do what you got to do. But when we break up I miss him so much, I can't even look at a guy cause its not him. What do I do stay with him or leave his butt?:confused: :cool:

This guy is a manipulative and insecure person. The reason he puts you down is because he dislikes himself and feels that he is worthless. Therefore putting others down enables him to shift the focus onto them and direct attention away from his own faults. His constant criticism is designed to make you feel inadequate, because as long as you feel bad about yourself you are easier to control. As for him being nice as well from time to time, that is merely part of his strategy to disempower you. Most of the time he will treat you like dirt and just as your about to confirm to yourself that he is nothing but a jerk, he will suddenly throw a curve ball by doing or saying something nice in an attempt to make you second guess your judgment! And start to say things to yourself along the line of this "maybe he is a nice guy after all", "maybe I should give him a chance", "after all he does have nice qualities as well", "and I do love him"! This man will break you to pieces then put you back together again, then break you to pieces and put you back together again over and over until your soul is completely crushed. Why? Because you let him that's why!
Lets get one thing clear! This relationship is not about love! If you think that it is then you are yet to experience what real love is! Your relationship with this man is purgatory, if you don't know what that means look it up and familiarise yourself with it because if you stay with him, purgatory will be your home.
I highly recommend you seek solace in some good gal friends and move on with your life without a shred of doubt or guilt, because things will never get better with a man like this and worst of all you will miss out on experiencing the real thing with a real man.
And by the way, if you feel compelled to stick around out of a sense of duty, or dellude yourself that you can cure him, you will learn the hard way that trying to heal a person who's damages are out of your depth never works and only ends up poisoning you instead. This relationship is toxic. Get out my dear!
Much love and all the best

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Originally Posted by tm_cap0124

[F]Me and my boyfriend have been together off and on for two and ahalf yrs. and I am in a tough situation. When I am with him I am the happiest I have ever felt at times but the worst at times to. I am really in love with this guy. So anyways he is always putting me down, like calling me names and any ambitions I have are stupid to him. Nothing I do is right besides have sex with him and thats not even good enough. We might have sex on monday and he will want is tuesday. If I don't have sex with him he tells me that I am probally getting it from somewhere else cause I don't want to. Or he will tell me that I am ruining the relationship cause I won't have sex with him. But hes not all bad he can do some of the nicest things for me and be really sweet. Are longest break up was for 2 months, like 2 weeks after we broke up he was having sex with a girl. I didn't mess with anyone cause I couldn't get over him, and I broke up with him so you think it would be the other way around. When I am with him I feel like somethings missing in my life and i'm not happy, but I'm not happy without him either. The big red flag for me was that he is so disrespectful to his family, he cusses at them and we live with them. He tells his mom how worthless she is. I just feel like if he treats his family like that, then that will be me if we get married. Because someday I might be his family so is that how he will treat me? Also, he has no job. He says he is too good to work minimum wage, and I get told I am lazy and dumb for working part-time in retail. At least I have a job, I actually hate it but its better to bring some money in than none at all. You do what you got to do. But when we break up I miss him so much, I can't even look at a guy cause its not him. What do I do stay with him or leave his butt?:confused: :cool:

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I am sorry I would say fallow your hart not your mind there is someone out there that will love you for you and he seems like a sex freack I am sorry you will find that perfict person OK don't give up it will come

Thanks for all your help!!

Your welcome I am glade I can help

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Originally Posted by tm_cap0124

[F]Me and my boyfriend have been together off and on for two and ahalf yrs. and I am in a tough situation. When I am with him I am the happiest I have ever felt at times but the worst at times to. I am really in love with this guy. So anyways he is always putting me down, like calling me names and any ambitions I have are stupid to him. Nothing I do is right besides have sex with him and thats not even good enough. We might have sex on monday and he will want is tuesday. If I don't have sex with him he tells me that I am probally getting it from somewhere else cause I don't want to. Or he will tell me that I am ruining the relationship cause I won't have sex with him. But hes not all bad he can do some of the nicest things for me and be really sweet. Are longest break up was for 2 months, like 2 weeks after we broke up he was having sex with a girl. I didn't mess with anyone cause I couldn't get over him, and I broke up with him so you think it would be the other way around. When I am with him I feel like somethings missing in my life and i'm not happy, but I'm not happy without him either. The big red flag for me was that he is so disrespectful to his family, he cusses at them and we live with them. He tells his mom how worthless she is. I just feel like if he treats his family like that, then that will be me if we get married. Because someday I might be his family so is that how he will treat me? Also, he has no job. He says he is too good to work minimum wage, and I get told I am lazy and dumb for working part-time in retail. At least I have a job, I actually hate it but its better to bring some money in than none at all. You do what you got to do. But when we break up I miss him so much, I can't even look at a guy cause its not him. What do I do stay with him or leave his butt?:confused: :cool:

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I hope you have a very big brother to stand by you when you take the RED FLAG you finally found (that took a long time) and have him sit on it while you wash his mouth out with some tile cleaner and (still more) when they get him to the ER to have the flag pulled out of his butt be sure to snap a few digitals to share with all his friends. This guy is not dumb he's a mindless idiot and for sure "A Rebel Without a Clue."