Ask Me Help Desk - Do I tell?

This my story ;My previous life consisted with my decision to leave it in the past. At this time in my life since "05" on lithium. I have a beautiful family; married for 17 years now with 1 teenage child with my present huband. My present husband has known of my 1st marriage but I'm not sure of the child I gave back to the father from my 1st marriage; for sure my present child has no idea of either. Until my sister in-law of my present husband which is her brother, took upon her self to bring my past up to local gathering spot that she chose to go. Being their twice in 2000 & 2004 I question her if this was the same place as previous; Until I noticed; well the ex and then a 26 or 27 year old male which I would assumed was the child or man that I gave up. But not sinking in until 2005.I BROKE DROWN ! Mad! Angry! At my present husband sister I will call her B****
2007 his family including B****came for a visit; she would constant ask "if I had any regrets" and of course never answering since this past of mine had nothing to do with her or her business, I would asked her the same question and getting no reply. When they're going back home and packing I TOLD HER b**** "DON'T COME BACK TO MY HOUSE" Once returned back home, she called {instead of asking her brother; my husband },(which at that point he knew of my 1st marriage)she asked our child if she wanted to fly out there and she would pay the airfare to come for a visit; if she comes by her self. This is very troublesome to me. I suggested to my husband if our child goes their so would I and I would keep and eye on everything and would stay with my mother in-law house(which is B's and her brother (my husband mother) at all times during our visit. B's and her family lives just around the corner from her mothers' house . IT seem to me he doesn't believe me Is their any other way to keep my child from this B****. Thank-you

So you are saying that B happened to met your ex somewhere and found out you have a daughter to him and he is WILLING to let your daughter go stay with B and/or some grandmother?

The first marriage and first baby boy now is I believe he is 27 or 26 years old. My 2nd husband is related to B**** which is his sister; he (my husband now) and is "b" brother.Neither has any relationship to my past life (the ex. And the boy that I gave up and walk away from) The teenage child of ours is my present and only my present husband's child. I have no connection to my past life ever. Thanks for the advice I'll take it in until" B" calls my our house again. Believe me I do delete the callers #

What I am wondering is IS your ex WILLING to send your son to B to stay or is B being manipulative and living in a dream world or trying to make waves by saying your ex is going to let him stay with her? And why would you stay with B if your son stayed with her> wouldn't it be better to tell your husband since it came to this point if your son is going to stay with anybody else it might as well be with you and your current husband?
I got the first marriage baby boy, 2nd husband related to B stuff. I just don't understand why your ex would be willing to let your son stay with B.

It was on the right track but then fell off. I tried and corrected my sentences for a better understanding.

I Took The Advice :put Everything Out On The Table, I Told My Present Husband The Final Secret (the Boy I Gave Up And The Reasons) And He'll Still Let Our Teenage Child Go For A Visit, But Stated Our Child Will Not Stay With His Sister. Only With His Mother At All Times And We As Parents Decided Not To Tell Anything About The Boy That I Gave Up As Well As My Ex To Our Child. He Said He Will Tell His Family To Shut Up Or Their Will Be Consequences. I'm Very Relieved That I Told My Husband; CAUSE I Love Him And Our Child Very Much. Knowing That I Fell So Great Right Now That At Last The Secret Of Mine Is Out. I Received This Courage Thur This Website And Through My therapist Thanks Again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by too much

I Took The Advice :put Everything Out On The Table, I Told My Present Husband The Final Secret (the Boy I Gave Up And The Reasons) And He'll Still Let Our Teenage Child Go For A Visit, But Stated Our Child Will Not Stay With His Sister. Only With His Mother At All Times And We As Parents Decided Not To Tell Anything About The Boy That I Gave Up As Well As My Ex To Our Child. He Said He Will Tell His Family To Shut Up Or Their Will Be Consequences. I'm Very Relieved That I Told My Husband; CAUSE I Love Him And Our Child Very Much. Knowing That I Fell So Great Right Now That At Last The Secret Of Mine Is Out. I Received This Courage Thur This Website And Through My therapist Thanks Again.

With as many people that know about the existence of your first born son, it's going to come to your daughters ears. It would be better if the "truth" came from you. Your daughter is old enough, (you said she is a teenager) to understand why you made the decision you did.

Believe me she will find out. I hope that you will be the one to have the conversation with her. You are the one who lived it, and the one who knows the whole truth of that time.

I wish you and your family the best.