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-   -   Trying to regain custody (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=138655)

  • Oct 8, 2007, 10:00 PM
    ada402
    Trying to regain custody
    I am the mother of a 13 year old boy. I made some mistakes in my past and agreed in 2002 to allow my parents to care for my child while I fixed my problems. I am sober, maintain a 3.0 or higher GPA in college, I am gainfully employed, and attend counseling. My parents have been promising me that they would return custody of my son to me when I met the 'goals' (which amazingly changed each time the 'goals' were reached). My son and I have a very close relationship despite the efforts of my mother to sabotage it. She bad mouths me to him, allows him to disrespectfully speak to me and so forth. He is confused and is now in court ordered counseling. We are all in family counseling where my father admitted to the counselor that he sexually molested me when I was a child (which, by the way, according to my parents, is my fault as I was a 5-year old trollop). I know all of this sounds so surreal, but the laws in Alabama say I have the burden of proof, I must prove that the benefit of moving my son from one household to another outweighs the perceived trauma of moving my son from one household to another. In other words I have to prove them bad or myself way better. I am emotionally exhausted and my court appointed lawyer does nothing. He speaks to me at court on the day we go in and never returns my calls or follows up on leads I give him.
    I know I made mistakes. I have fixed them for the sake of my son and foolishly trusted the people whom I should be able to trust most in the world. I cannot afford a lawyer so I depend on the court appointed one. What can I do? My son has been appointed a CASA and a Guardian Ad Litem. My mother receives over $300.00 a month in social security death benefits because my sons father passed away and now I have been ordered to pay an additional $300.00 a month in child support. Meanwhile she has a brand new car and spends money like crazy. We go back to court in Feb. Is there anything I can do? Is his admittance to the molestation admissible to the judge? Will that change anything? Please someone help me. I love him so much and I feel so guilty as it is and like I failed him.
  • Oct 23, 2007, 10:22 PM
    charlotte234s
    I would suggest asking the court for a new attorney first off. If you get a hearing to petition for custody, and you really are doing well and can care for a child, you deserve to have your child back. Often times at 13, though, the judge will take the child's opinion into account, so maybe talk to him as well. Ask your new attorney about whether the molestation admission is admissible in court, I would hope it would be because anyone who molests a child deserves to never have children in their care again and be punished, but I'm not a lawyer so I'm not sure if you can use that in court. Also discuss with your attorney that you feel the guardian wastes the money on things not for the child and even if you can't get your child back, perhaps you can get your payments reduced.

    Good luck and best wishes.

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