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-   -   He doesn't really call me (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=137980)

  • Oct 7, 2007, 08:32 AM
    meena-24
    He doesn't really call me
    Hi everyone, can someone advise me what to do with my boyfriend we are in a long distance relationship for 4 yrs now and we are planning to get married by March 2008 but nowadays he doesn't really call me and when I ask him why he doesn't call he says he is bz working... most of the time he promises to call me and I just keep waiting and waiting for his call but he never rings me back and the next day when I call him I ask him why he didn't call he says oh stop complaining I was tired I fell asleep etc... now I don't understand what he is up to advise me I really want to find out what he wants is he really bz or what and you know what sometimes when I get mad I don't want to call he just never calls for like 2 days and after that he rings me back and pretends as if nothing happened advise...
  • Oct 7, 2007, 08:47 AM
    MoonlitWaves
    It sounds to me like you two need to talk about this. Don't just ask him why, but tell him how it makes you feel. You need to make sure he is still committed to this relationship. A relationship is about compromising. He feels there is nothing wrong with him not calling because of work or being tired, whereas you feel he should. Therefore you both need to compromise. If he is telling the truth, then you should be understanding. He also should be understanding of how it makes you feel. Therefore I would suggests you ask him to call if only just to say hello and goodnight when he can't carry on a long conversation. That way he can get his rest and you will feel better by having spoken to him everyday even if only for a few minutes, rather than not speaking to him at all. This is assuming that the relationship is still in good standing on both sides. You must work out your problems and compromising must be done in any relationship for it to work.
    Also, I would suggests doing this face to face.
    Hope it works out for you.
  • Oct 7, 2007, 12:00 PM
    meena-24
    I did speak to him about it I told him how I feel but he says he is really bz he has me on his mind all the time and I should have mentioned earlier he says when he gets time he will call me I understand he works 7days a week 7 to 8 but I still dono know why deep inside I get worried once I was talking to him on the fon I got diconnected and rite away he had called me back but for some reason my fon didn't have signal after a while I called him back and he told me ( for a moment I imagined my life without you and it really really scared me I never want to be without u) does this mean he is honest and he is really bz
  • Oct 7, 2007, 02:39 PM
    Bluerose
    It doesn't matter how busy we get, we can find five minutes to make a phone call. Maybe he has just run out of things to say on the phone. You need to try to get together more.
  • Oct 7, 2007, 07:03 PM
    GeniusfromGeniusHell
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by meena-24
    hi everyone, can someone advise me what to do with my boyfriend we are in a long distance relationship for 4 yrs now and we are planning to get married by March 2008 but nowadays he doesnt really call me and when i ask him why he doesnt call he says he is bz working... most of the time he promises to call me and i just keep waiting and waiting for his call but he never rings me back and the next day when i call him i ask him why he didn't call he says oh stop complaining i was tired i fell asleep etc......... now i don't understand what he is up to advise me i really want to find out what he wants is he really bz or what and u know what sometimes when i get mad i dont want to call he just never calls for like 2 days and after that he rings me back and pretends as if nothing happened advise..........

    Ok. 4 year long distance relationship? That really isn't a relationship, and if he isn't calling it's not because he's busy, it's because he isn't interested in calling. If you are settling for someone who not only isn't near you, but doesn't even make the effort to contact you, then I suspect your self-esteem issues outweigh the problems of this relationship. I'm sorry that is harsh, but...

    Whatever you do, do NOT marry this person until you've spent a year in a real, in-person relationship.
  • Oct 7, 2007, 07:10 PM
    The Lake House
    I am afraid that he is not interested in you any more.

    Me myself is a busy person, no matter how busy I am , I would call the person I love.

    "Too busy" is just an excuse, Honey.

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