:confused: My 11 year old stepdaughter asked my 12 year old daughter, what does she do when she feels horny? My daughter, confused hadn't ever thought about it... she responded, I don’t know I guess I go to sleep thinking of the boy I like. My stepdaughter answered, well I hump my pillow or finger myself.
I have to confess that since I was little I can remember that I did masturbate but NEVER let anybody see me nor did I tell anybody... Now what worries me is the fingering part and why she is telling. My question is, is that normal?? She has some other unusual behaviors like she lied, about six months ago, saying she got her menstruation and then used tampons which, seems to me, a bit unusual for an 11 year old. She has low self esteem and granted, her weight can contribute to it but she refuses to do anything about it. She continually lies, she does not have a lot of friends and she wants to wear make up. She says she is planning on having sex at 15. Please help me with information so I can help her.

I would counsel this girl before her negative behaviour influence your daughter.

Many ( and read some of our posts here) many girls at 11 and 12 are very sexually active. So it is time to have some serious talks.

I would definitely get her into the care of a professional counselor. It also sounds like she really needs attention. Perhaps she could become involved in some group activities that could help her to not be so self-absorbed?

OK, she's 11. She probably doesn't realise she's being self absorbed, she's not a teenager, she's still a kid, chances are at that age most children think the world revolves around them. She'll grow out of it, but if you want to make her less self absorbed speak to her yourself, it would be more valuable to do this than send her to a counsellor.

Hello a:

From what you've described, I think you have a perfectly normal daughter who's going through a tough time in life (puberty). Counseling wouldn't hurt anybody, but I think you need to talk to her and lighten up.

excon

I agree with Excon, this is normal but you need to talk about privacy and tell her if she needs to talk... she can come to you. Talk talk talk... make sure you are open enough for her to talk to you... (her level, not yours) Giving advice on your level is good but I have to say when you are listening and just talking about intimate things you have to remember her age! Good luck and lot's of hugs and TALKING!