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I know my parents have there own rules, but seriously I'm 14 and I've been going out with my boyfriend for 9 nine months,& we're really not ready for sex, I want to go out with him without my parents right there in my face. Ugh does anybody have my problems, and do any parents agree with my parents or disagree
Hi,
Please consider my age, 63, retired and married for many, many years, in deciding if my advice is worth it!
First, here is a fact:
40% of all girls in the US are pregnant before they are 20 yrs old.
Over half of all marriages in the US end in Divorce.
Why am I telling you this? Because your parents probably already know it!
I agree with your parents. All three of our children were not allowed to go out at 14 yrs old... two boys and a girl. We had many parties at our house during those yrs, but one of us was always there, supervising.
My "hats off" to your parents. You don't realize this now, or probably don't even want to read this, but your parents know that you have the rest of your life ahead of you. In this world today, kids of 13 yrs old get pregnant, because their parents really don't care anymore.
Your parents care, and I hope you listen to them. They sound like they are responsible, and want to keep their family together. The family that does things together, is the family that stays together. They love you very much, and are looking out for your best interests. At 14, you really don't know as much as you think you do! All of us keep learning, even me. But, your parents are older... been there, done that. They don't want you to make your own mistakes, until you are a little older, and know more about life. Maybe then, your mistakes will not be quite as "huge and major" as they can be now.
Best of luck,
fredg
Always 1000% listen to your parents!!
You have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many years to date.
Your not eve nan adult yet. There is a lot trouble you can get into.
I was that age once. My mom really didn't believe the fact that I knew everything!! Lol. Dear, you have your whole entire life ahead of you, guy's will come, and guy's will go. Did you ever stop to think that your parent's were actually 14 once upon a time ago? Did you ever think that they actually do love you, and want the best for you, and they really don't want to ruin your fun, but want you to do the best that you can do in life? I am 30 right now, and I wish that I had of listened to every annoying word out of my mother's mouth. Listen to your parent's I promise you, you won't regret it!
Letmeno is right dear, I'm 55, my daughter is 29, and she did not date or want to go out until she was around 16, and guess what she didn't miss out on much. She went swimming and to dance school, and did sports with friends durng the day, but in the evening she enjoyed staying home with me and we watched movies or played games together. You are not really missing anything, and there's pleanty of time for you yet. We also know what peer pressure is. We've been through it. The phrase "but all our friends can do it" came from us, believe me it's true. So we've been there, tried that, and still survived and so did our children, and so will you. Honest, we are not on anyone's side on this, just stating fact. Just for fun, ask your mom what she tried to get 'away with' when she was young... You'll get a good laugh, I'm sure.Quote:
Originally Posted by letmeno
When I was 7 and my big sister was 13, I thought I knew PLENTY! I certainly knew more than my little cousin who was only 6, I knew more than my best friend who was 6 and wouldn't be 7 for 3 more months. I wanted to do more "grown up" stuff. I wanted to walk to and from the park alone. The park was 1 1/2 miles away, past some very busy streets. My mom and grandma tried to talk sense into me but I wasn't listening. What do they know, they're too old. My best friend said she didn't want to try cause she was too scared. Well of course she was scared, she wasn't older like me. My sister finally came and told me that I was too young to do that and if I tried I would only regret it because I could get lost or hit by a car or worse. She told me, believe me, I was your age once and I'm a lot smarter now, I know more stuff. I idolized my sister and thought she was the coolest smartest girl I knew. I listened to her and I'm glad I did. She got me through some rough spots in my life. Listen to people who have been there and done that, they know. 14 is waaaaay young. Can you honestly say that when you were twelve, you were as mature as you are now? Do you think at 16, you will have matured even more or has your maturity level capped and you're as smart at 14 as you will ever be in your whole life? If you think it through, you'll realize your parents are right. Be patient and show your maturity through being obedient and making good decisions. You'll feel good about yourself for it too. :)
I have to say I agree with your parents. They're actually doing you a big favor by keeping you away from the dating scene at such a young age. The complex dynamics of boy-girl relationships are far too stress-inducing for a 14-yr-old to have to endure. If you get yourself caught up in it now while you're so young you will inflict emotional damage on yourself that you and your significant other(s) will have to carry for the rest of your life. Why do you suppose that the divorce rate in industrialized countries is over 50%? A large part of the reason is that people get caught up in the emotional tangles of boy-girl relationships far too early and the residual damage that builds up over the years becomes insurmountable by the time one reaches marriage age. After all, how well can you really love or trust a husband after 10 or more previous boyfriends have broken your heart? Not very much, that's for sure. Your distancing behavior towards him builds anger and resentment in turn so he likewise pulls away from you. Before you know it your in the throes of an ugly divorce and your life is a total mess. This is why divorce lawyers are so wealthy and divorce judges are so overworked. Do yourself a BIG favor and save yourself from all this hassle and heartache and refrain from dating until you are ready and old enough to get married.
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