With every guy I have been with, I can't seem to orgasm when we are intimate. I try really hard every time to try enjoy the sensation of sex, but it still doesn't work. I sometimes get pictures in my mind of my exes when I have sex with my boyfriend. How can I enjoy sex?

It's actually very normal for women to have difficulty reaching climax during sexual intercourse. It is very important that you and your partner openly discuss what feels good for each other. You should experiment on yourself first so that you are sure of exactly what it is that makes you . Your partner should be making sure that you are satisfied as well. Some women can't by intercourse alone, it may be necessary for your man to stimulate you through foreplay. Most women can only if they receive manual stimulation to the clitoris. It is beneficial for him as well to make you climax first because the woman's body tends to tighten directly after an orgasm, this may make your vagina feel slightly tighter to him if you have intercourse immediately after. If the communication is good and you provide him the information he needs to get the job done it should be no problem. He should want to do it any way if he cares about your pleasure and you.

The partner can help. I'll offer this: Forplay, Forplay, Forlay. Oral, Oral, Oral. Trust, Trust, Trust. Instruct, Instruct, Instruct.

What does that mean. Foreplay increases you sensitivity, Trust allows you to not to worry about your partner hurting you. Oral means that there is a better likelihood that you will orgasm from oral sex. Instruct means tell your partner what feels good. For you it's all in the mind.

It would help if you can orgasm when you manually stimulate yourself, because then you tell your partner what buttons to push.

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Originally Posted by Tersh

With every guy i have been with, i can't seem to orgasim when we are intimate. I try really hard every time to try enjoy the sensation of sex, but it still doesn't work. I sometimes get pictures in my mind of my exes when i have sex with my boyfriend. How can i enjoy sex?

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There is only 1 position that works for me to have an orgasm during sex. I didn't even think I was capable of one until I bought a vibrator. If you would like to know what it is let me know.

How old are you?

It takes time sometimes for women... people don't often realize that.

I would say relax find out what feels good try different possitioins and maybe a vibrater.or a massager what you do is apply the vibrater or massager to the during intercourse an that should help you out.

Your words "try really hard" indicated to me that you are on the wrong track... your orgasmic self is likely to be more like "totally relaxed and letting go"...

There are many reasons possible for young women to be non-orgasmic during intercourse. I get the vibe that sex is now a burden for you; a duty to perform in order to have a boyfriend. If that is the case, I suggest that you find a way to get to your inner passions, a little project just for yourself. :) Think about your sex fantasies and what turns you on about them. Let your mind wander. Learn how to masturbate to orgasm if you haven't done that as yet. Work on bringing yourself pleasure from manipulating your breasts. And so on... :)


Best wishes!

Well... here's the laundry list...

1) can you get yourself off by self stimulation when nobody is around? If yes, what does it take? Long time? Fast? Soft pressure? Harder? vibe?

You aren't trying to talk to your parents here... fess up and we can talk.

2) can you get off with oral?

3) what positions do you normally assume? For ex, do you always let the man do the work or to you ever assume power positions?

4) do you self stimulate during intercourse?

5) have you any bad experiences concerning relationships or sex?

6) do you ever feel relaxed when having sex? Is it rushed? Do you ever feel the NEED to have him in you, or is it just a nice idea?

OK... enough for now... please respond when you can

She hasn't been here since October, folks.

Don't think she's going to come back just to answer your questions.

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Originally Posted by Synnen

She hasn't been here since October, folks.
Don't think she's gonna come back just to answer your questions.

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Party pooper.

I can live in my little ego-centric world just fine without you making me face reality, y'know!

I live to ruin your fun, KP. :)

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Originally Posted by Synnen

I live to ruin your fun, KP. :)

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And you keep coming back with the "spanky paddle".

Its all in the wrist, y'know.

I know. I know. Off topic AGAIN. You bring out the worst in me?

I think you just like spankings.

I'm going to have to have a talk with your wife.

I'm someone who's been where you're at right now. What helps me is to take things one step at a time. The human mind is incredible in the sense that we can make ourselves think about what we want, but if we are aware of what we are thinking, we can focus on something else.

If, during intercourse, you becgin to think about an ex or a stressful moment/situation, focus on a part of your present partners body and analyze it, looking at all it's details. It will put more focus on your partner and less on your preceding thoughts.

It might take a couple of tries, but practice it until you get used to it. It's not a foreign thing to do. Men typically do this without even noticing. Try it on a daily basis. When you have something, like an ex, on your mind, look at something nearby, like a keyboard, and pay attention to the details in front of you. The keys, the shapes, the numbers and letters, the colours and lights, etc. Although, I don't suggest you use, persistantly, the keyboard. It could get boring. I might add that your partner, unlike your keyboard, will not get boring. Humans are forever changing.

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