Im new and I'm confused about my husband. We have been married for 4 and half years and separated off and on for six months. He moved out and in with someone who was a coworker they were good friends and she is 4 years younger than his mother. He says nothing is going on and I tried to believe him. He is an alcoholic and went to rehab for a month and when he got out the second day he moved back in with the children and I. The one day he got drunk and thought I kicked him out and he went right back to her house. When explained I didn't kick him out and he had a dream about it instead he still refuses to move back here with me and the kids. When he comes to visit she calls here for him four to six times in the day. He tells me how he sleeps in the same bed as her and he doesn't sleep under the covers or how he will crawl into her bed while she is sitting up. Anymore he tells her more than me. SHe even called one day and asked if he wanted to watch a show with her when he went back to her place. I think this is more than friends though he denys it. He hasent changed his address from mine, has my house key, and still has clothes here at my house. He says someday he is going to move back. BUt I don't believe that anymroe. I think they are having an emotional affair. I even read on the interent about it. ALl signs point to that. I also think they are sleeping together though he denies that to he even says he isn't living there and not paying bills just staying there for awhile. I told him though my children are not allowed to go over to that house. He says she is his best friend. Funny though he lost his wedding ring there and she never found it and he lost his glasses outside their house. She has called here before crying over him. When I'm upset he doesn't act as if he cares but her he is there in a heartbeat. When she said their friendship was over he called her constantly until she answered and they were friends again. BUt as far as me nope not crud.
WE have four kids 7,6,5, and 3 he isn't even active in their lives anymore. Says he is ashamed so bascially has walked out on them. He doesn't help with bills since he left three weeks ago.
Isn't this an emotional affair or possibly more? I know he isn't going to admit it if they are sleeping together. I know they have kissed once but they both said it was a mistake. But I still think more than what is being told.

*I need to input that the lady is supposly his bestfriend-she does call me to tell me when he is drunk-she brings him over because he has no DL (suspended for DUI.. go figure)-he does munipulate me and her tries to get us not to talk, but he tells her she is caddy. I still think they have feelings for one another.Her being 44yrs old and single and my husband being a 26yr old alcoholic. I know she is codependent on him and does not want to lose him because he has helped her pay the bills. On another note there is another roommate and her boyfriend who live at that house. The lady claims most of the time he does sleep on the sofa unless he is drunk. They have given me their home phone number and her cell (which she hardly answers) If this isn't an affair than possible my husband is an alocohlic trying to make me jealous as can be. He says he doesn't want to come back yet cause he is ashamed and does not want the kids to see him like this as he saw his parents.. anything make sense or am I the only clueless one here... maybe its safe just to leave well enough alone and go my own way.

I would not wait for him to wake up to his responsibilities. He walked out. I would call a divorce attorney and start the ball rolling. Whether he is sexually involved with this other woman - does it matter that much right now? Let her have him. You need the child support to help maintain a life for your children. You also need to get yourself into some counseling, possibly the children too. Who knows what they have seen and/or heard.

If I were you, and I have been you to a degree, I would not take him back. He would need to show his sobriety and mean it. He would also need to show responsibility for his actions, support the family, and become the active husband and father.

Hope you call an attorney, change the locks on the door, put his clothes out on the front steps, whatever you have to do to establish some peace in the house.

I would kick him to the curb if I were you. But I am confused. You aren't sure if he has been sleeping with her? Do you have to be hit over the head or what ? He tells you that he sleeps on top of the covers while she is in bed. Okay, you believe what you want to believe but I wouldn't waste anymore time on this relationship. Devote your time to the kids and hire a divorce lawyer.It sounds like he is using you and your house as a drop off place when she is angry with him.

Why are you giving this drunk his cake. Get him out of your life, and don't let him back, unless he has been sober and responsible for a year. Talk to someone at Alanon, for some knowledge and guidance. You are enabling him, and that makes you part of the problem.