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-   -   Mother Walking Daughter Down The Aisle (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=136726)

  • Oct 3, 2007, 02:34 PM
    silver lady
    Mother Walking Daughter Down The Aisle
    I am divorced from my first husband who is my daughter's father. He is deceased now. My 2nd marriage also ended in divorce. Is it appropriate for the mother of the bride to walk her daughter down the aisle?

    Any suggestions on how to word the wedding invitation? I am single now but have my 2nd husband's last name. She will be paying for most of the wedding.
  • Oct 3, 2007, 02:58 PM
    N0help4u
    My daughter says she is going to have me walk her down the aisle. :)
    Never thought about the answers to your other question.
  • Oct 3, 2007, 04:50 PM
    shygrneyzs
    From this website: Wedding Invitation Wording - ShopWiki

    See this piece:
    Divorced, Deceased, and Widowed Parents
    Divorced parents (in the case in which the surnames have remained the same) hosting should be listed as "Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Doe". If the wife has changed her name, the last name should read as whatever she goes by currently.
    If either the father or mother have passed away and the remaining parent has remarried, simply use the original formula. The only catch is with the case in which the father has died and the mother has changed her name, the bride's surname also needs to be included on the invitation.
    Should the mother be a widow, not remarried, the invite should read, "Mrs. John Doe requests the presence..."
    Be sure to read the guide on Divorced Parents and Step Families at Weddings for more help.
  • Oct 3, 2007, 05:25 PM
    jillianleab
    If your daughter orders her invitations from a stationary shop, they will have guidelines on how to word just about every possible configuration! There should also be information on bridal websites and in bridal magazines to help you out. The suggestion above is great, if it makes your daughter happy with the wording. If she is having a less formal wedding, she can word the invitation how ever she wants to!

    As far as you walking her down the aisle, I think it's a lovely idea. Just because tradition says it is supposed to be her father doesn't mean that is set in stone. It's HER day, and what makes HER happy should take place. When my (female) cousin got married, both parents walked her down the aisle, and when my other (male) cousin got married, his mom was very ill and wanted to walk him down the aisle as well. Sure, it was unconventional, but the bride had no problem with it, so my male cousin descended the aisle with his mother! It was beautiful and no one turned their nose or scoffed at the change in tradition. I think it is a great idea for you to walk her down the aisle, go for it!
  • Oct 3, 2007, 05:52 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    If she wants you to, and you want to, who really cares what others say is right or not, It is her day, do what she wants and don't worry about it.
  • Oct 3, 2007, 06:15 PM
    grammadidi
    In this day and age, almost anything goes! My children walked ME down the aisle for my second marriage (he is deceased, now), and my father was Best Man! :)

    As far as the wording of the invitation, as mentioned above, the place that she orders her invitations will make suggestions. If she is paying for most of the wedding, it would likely read something similar to this:

    Jane Anne Doe
    And
    John James Smith
    Request the honour of your presence...

    It really depends upon how much you are contributing and how formal the wedding and invites will be.

    Hugs, Didi
  • Oct 3, 2007, 06:29 PM
    stonewilder
    I have a friend who had her grandmother walk her down the aisle because she was after all the one who raised her. It's your wedding, I think you have the right to have anyone you want to give you away.
  • Oct 3, 2007, 07:29 PM
    letmetellu
    It is your wedding and your memories, Don't mess it up worrying about what someone is going to think, Do what ever you want. And I think it would be an honor to your mother.
  • Oct 3, 2007, 08:34 PM
    mwilliams15
    Me any my father are not one bit close at all. I've always said I want my mom to walk me down the aisle.. she has been there for me my entire life and I couldn't think of a better person. In my opinion it is 100% appropriate. Be happy and proud that she wants you to walk her down the aisle. Evidently, she loves you and cares enough about you to want to share that special moment with you =)
    As of the last name, you should just go back to your maiden name, that's what my mom did and she couldn't be happier. No sense in still being tied to a last name that you really have no part of anymore. I know that could be difficult, switching it back, changing all sorts of paper work, but in the long run you will probably like it more
    Good luck to you! =)
  • Nov 1, 2007, 03:15 AM
    Kadehadaire
    My mom will walk me down the aisle! :D
  • Nov 4, 2007, 11:54 AM
    HollyAnngel
    I don't see y anyone elst would care if u did. I don't get along with my dad so both of my grandfathers will walk me...
  • Nov 4, 2007, 12:29 PM
    kp2171
    Absolutely no reason you cannot walk her down the aisle, if that's what she wants. Generally, within reason, I say defer as much as you can to the bride and groom. It's their wedding, and its easy to let other biases, egos, etc get in the way of that.

    Do what feels right and what the bride wants.

    As for the invites, don't fret too much. What name do you use the most? What will most know you by? In the end, its about the celebration of their marriage, so I wouldn't toss and turn over that.
  • Nov 19, 2007, 11:15 AM
    jessincali
    I think it is totally appropriate and right for her mom to walk her down the isle. That is how I did it at my wedding and it turned out beautiful.
    Just tell your daughter to remember one thing - IT IS HER WEDDING!!
    Do things how she wants.:)
  • Nov 29, 2012, 12:33 PM
    question for U
    My daughter is insulted almost that I'd like to walk her down the aisle.
    Her father and I have been divorced 20 years and I am now single. I suggested he and I both walk her. She thinks it is horrible that I would even suggest it. Your thoughts?
  • Dec 15, 2012, 09:04 PM
    saundraanne
    I love your reply! Thank you, as I looked this up and have the same situation. Your words are very helpful!

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