Ask Me Help Desk - Hurt the one I love

Hurt the one I love

My boyfriend is the most wonderful man in the world. He's honest, caring, respectful, and always makes me feel good. We've been together for 10 month, and yes I really think he's the one. I don't see myself without him. We have our problems like any couple but made the decision right away to talk about our problems and work them out.
We went out this past weekend to a bar... everything was fine until I started throwing back shots like Johnny Depp & cussing like a sailor. A guy that I've hung out with in the past walked in and apparently I started talking to him & ignoring my beau. My better half says I was flirting and made him feel second. I don't remember that part. I remember saying hi and maybe talking to him for 5 minutes.
I should've know drinking too much I'd act like a jerk, but I just wasn't thinking. I have NO feelings for the other guy, and I love my boyfriend. I want to mend our relationship, I've apologized over & over and he is in so much pain. He's a wonderful man, how can I help him see this was a result of drinking too much??

In 10 months you haven't even started to get know him much less decide he's the one... 3 or 4 years from you, you can say you are getting to know him. It takes decades to really know a person.

And in that moment I think your boyfriend saw a part of you he really didn't want to see. Getting drunk makes an idiot out of anyone. But even drunk there are things about your real personality that comes out you would rather hide.

... It takes decades to really know a person...

I agree, I didn't say I knew him through & through. What I do know I appreciate. I was looking for advice on mending someone's heart and trust after I caused pain.

Time... everyone is different, but accept the fact not every guy can forget that. Personally that was one of the transgressions I for one could not overlook. And yeah.. I've walked away from 3 women that did that. But I'm not everyone.

Do you believe in forgiveness? I've never walked away from someone who made a mistake. Why would you walk away if you cared so much for someone?

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Originally Posted by kitten269

do you believe in forgiveness? I've never walked away from someone who made a mistake. Why would you walk away if you cared so much for someone?

I do, there are many things I could forgive... but for me that's like a stab in the heart and one I could never forgive. Now all guys won't think that, but that's my sore spot.

What ways can I make him see I won't do it again. How can I earn that love & trust again. If you were to forgive someone what would you suggest they do?

Just try and be yourself... swear off booze altogether and wait... perhaps its not as big a sore spot for him as it is for me. You've already apologized. Try to be extra nice to him for a bit. But mostly time... if he's still talking to you then you might have a chance.

Take smoothy's advice here... I would lay off the booze for awhile when you two are out and give him the attention... it would be a good start.

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what ways can I make him see I won't do it again.

By not doing it again!!

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How can I earn that love & trust again.

Over time you can prove your sincere and trustworthy, if he lets you and it will take a lot of time.

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If you were to forgive someone what would you suggest they do?

Leave me alone, and let me see that there has been a sincere change, in actions and attitude, for myself. You can't make someone forgive you, no more than you can make them love you. You must change, and do better for yourself, whether he finds to forgive you, or not.