Okay, well... I have been dating this guy for over a year and a half and we starting dating in march 12, 06 and we started having sex around late may early June, and ever since then I mean things have been going great. But even before we started having sex we "Fooled around" and we were both brought up in church and my dad is the pastors son, my father is no longer around anymore and my mom is remarried and she don't care what I do. But it seems like my boyfriend and I can never just "hang out" its like he is always grabbing my boobs or butt or talking about sex and we are alone a lot. And I have told him about this and when he sees I'm getting mad he stops. But we can't ever just lay on my bed together its always sex. And we can never make out anymore with just out lips it has to be touching everything and leading into sex. And I'm not saying that I don't like sex because I do a lot. I just don't want it to take over our relationship. And I know that if we keep having sex that I am going to get pregnant I am on birth control and he hates the way a condom feels. And I know we could afford a child but I wouldn't want to have to explain it to my grandpa and his church... after all no one thinks I would have sex before marriage. Hehe::D but my point is that I don't know how to stop... like its just when we are alone we have sex.. its been that way for a long time. And I would love nothing more than to stop having sex until we are married then I think out Honeymoon would be more special. But we both just don't know how to stop. And I don't want everything about our relationship to be all about sex.

Do the two of you ever go out on a date?

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Originally Posted by pcarichards

Do the two of you ever go out on a date?

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Yes we are together every night. And we go places. Friday nights we go to dinner and then do something else. :)

Have you sat him down and talked to him about your feelings? Trust me there is nothing wrong in having a hot sex life. But if this is all to your relationship, then you do not have one, it's just physical. Eventually you will get tired and start to venture in unknown areas. On the other hand if the two of you can sit down and have a meaningful conversation without it turning into a love marathon, you can savor what the two of you have. Are the two of you seeing each other exclusively? If so, it's a big chance he will listen to you, and try to refrain. By the way what is your age category? 18-22, 23-30, 31-39, or older. Reason I ask, is that age plays a huge part on your sex life.

I got a lot of these ideas from women's magazine but here's my paraphrasing

It doesn't always have to be sex, but no sex can be just as fun. What you need to do is have days where you aren't allowed to have sex but only something else like kissing.

Day one - no touching just dirty talk/ walk around in something nice- he is not allowed to touch you at all.
Day two- only hand holding - touching of non erogenous zones.
Day three - kissing and making out - clothes on!
Day four - what you want.

You can draw out the days and the level of teasing. The aim is to have fun not having sex and driving each other wild.

Also another good thing is having intimacy time- where one partner makes a fuss of the other and it is agreed beforehand that there will be no sex. You can have a codeword or some means of signalling that it is intimacy only.

Another one is when actually having sex ban obvious erogenous zones - like your bum and breast to make him work harder on other areas.

Here's my last suggestion have a month of just hanging out go see the outside world. Go on day trips and picnics, the cinema, friend's houses. Do stuff as a couple, just enjoy being in each other's company without sex.

Now, how to get him to agree to all this? Communication, talk to him explain what you said in this post and that you would like to change things a bit- have a bit of experimenting. If he loves you for more than sex he should agree.

There are some great suggestions above and I can't agree more on communication. If your current relationship revolves around sex then you really have nothing as a base for the future. Most likely the sex will settle down after a few years and your relationship will collapse. You are doing the right thing by being proactive in all this and seeking advice. The next step is to actually use it. Talk to him and make you feelings known. Sex can be so special when it is used in moderation.

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Originally Posted by pcarichards

Have you sat him down and talked to him about your feelings? Trust me there is nothing wrong in having a hot sex life. But if this is all to your relationship, then you do not have one, it's just physical. Eventually you will get tired and start to venture in unknown areas. On the other hand if the two of you can sit down and have a meaningful conversation without it turning into a love marathon, you can savor what the two of you have. Are the two of you seeing each other exclusively? If so, it's a big chance he will listen to you, and try to refrain. By the way what is your age category? 18-22, 23-30, 31-39, or older. Reason I ask, is that age plays a huge part on your sex life.

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Yes we are exclusive. I'm 19 and he's 22 going on 23 soon. I have sat and talked to him about it and everything else and he agrees and he's willing to change but out talks are usually when he is getting ready to go home then we both sleep and when we wake up everything is back to the way it was. Out conversation is just forgotten.

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Originally Posted by alm5

yes we are exclusive. I'm 19 and hes 22 going on 23 soon. I have sat and talked to him about it and everything else and he agrees and hes willing to change but out talks are usually when he is getting ready to go home then we both sleep and when we wake up everything is back to the way it was. out conversation is just forgotten.

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Well then change when you have the talks. This is obviously something that is very important to you - why are you allowing him to minimize how much it means to you? Start you time together by saying we need to talk about this now because its bothering me and its important to me.

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Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

Well then change when you have the talks. This is obviously something that is very important to you - why are you allowing him to minimize how much it means to you? Start off you time together by saying we need to talk about this now because its bothering me and its important to me.

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I will try to talk to him when he comes over tonight

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Originally Posted by alm5

Okay, well...I have been dating this guy for over a year and a half and we starting dating in march 12, 06 and we started having sex around late may early June, and ever since then I mean things have been going great. but even before we started having sex we "Fooled around" and we were both brought up in church and my dad is the pastors son, my father is no longer around anymore and my mom is remarried and she dont care what I do. but it seems like my boyfriend and I can never just "hang out" its like he is always grabbing my boobs or butt or talking about sex and we are alone a lot. and I have told him about this and when he sees I'm getting mad he stops. but we can't ever just lay on my bed together its always sex. and we can never make out anymore with just out lips it has to be touching everything and leading into sex. and I'm not saying that I dont like sex because I do a lot. I just dont want it to take over our relationship. and I know that if we keep having sex that I am going to get pregnant I am on birth control and he hates the way a condom feels. and I know we could afford a child but I wouldnt want to have to explain it to my grandpa and his church....after all no one thinks I would have sex before marriage. hehe::D but my point is that I dont know how to stop...like its just when we are alone we have sex..its been that way for a long time. and I would love nothing more than to stop having sex until we are married then I think out Honeymoon would be more special. but we both just dont know how to stop. and I dont want everything about our relationship to be all about sex.

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You should tell him when there is someone else around but they are not listening and sex is a special thing so don't over do it