My husband likes to paint his toe nails and wear women's underwear and recently my skirts we have had long discussions where he tries to explain it helps him when he feels stressed, it feels good, he is very clear that he is not gay. I just find it hard not to feel like I have done something wrong, missed something not met a need. Can anyone explain this to me

He is not gay. He probably is a cross-dresser. Totally straight.

It's sort of like how you may feel so much more relaxed when you are wearing jeans or slacks and a soft, old flannel shirt (traditionally men's clothes).

I agree with Wondergirl... most cross dressers are straight in orientation. Personally I don't understand them but as long as you are OK with it then its between the two of you.

I don't think it an any way reflects on you or anything you are doing, have done, or should have done. I think its more of something that turns him on. But I'll be honest and say I don't really understand that motivation.

Women cross dress all the time, why can't men?

If you feel uncomfortable about it I suggest you watch some Eddie Izzard he is a cross dressing english, straight comedien who explains it in a very good (and humourous) fashion

Here is the wikipedia entry
Eddie Izzard - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Scroll down to tranvestism

You haven't done anything wrong, be happy he could confide in you!

Do a bit of reading around male cross dressing and you will see it is nother to be worried about.

You have not done something wrong or missed doing something. Your husband is trusting you with how he feels and what he wants to experience. It is not harmful. Does not make him less a guy or you less a woman.