Lost a good relationship overnight, it was short but sweet and I want it back!
Ok peoples, this is J Aguila, and this is my first post on here so bear with me. I'm usually good with relationships but I'm at a loss on this one and I really feel something for the girl so I want your help and opinions out there. Here's the story; I met this girl about 2 years ago in the mall I was working in at the time. She worked at a place that served food and desserts so I used to go up there and talk and flirt, nothing serious, but we seemed to hit it off right away. At the time though, I wasn't looking for anything so I never asked her for her number I used to stop by from time to time. Eventually, I found a new job outside the mall so on my last week, I went around saying my goodbyes to everyone I knew in the mall. When I got to her store and told her I was leaving, I asked her for her email to stay in touch but not get serious. (I failed to mention that at the time, I was 19 and she was 16). Since, she wasn't even out of high school I didn't want to see her anyway except as a friend. However, when she wrote down her email, she also put her number on the paper as well. I kept in touch through e-mail and she eventually bugged me to call her. Over the next few weeks we kept in touch but she obviously was interested in being more than friends when we were on the phone.
At that point I she kept asking us to be together, I kept dodging her but eventually I had to tell her straight up that I just wanted to be friends. She's a beautiful girl so she did not take my response well. From then we fell out in and out of contact over the next year and a half. We went for months at a time without hearing from each other until one day, she sent me a text message out of the blue asking if I knew who it was, I said yes and we began talking again. This time she said she had a dream about us having sex (she's a virgin) and that she wanted me to take her virginity. Of course I was blown away by this and told her that I didn't think it was a good idea at which point we fell out of contact again.
About 5 or 6 months later she sends me an email stating that she will miss all of her friends since she would be leaving for college soon. I thought it was nice of her so I texted her again and we began some light conversation here and there. Eventually though, she did get a boyfriend during this period so I stopped contacting as often. A few weeks later I decided to text just to say hi and she stated she was going through some problems and she dumped her boyfriend because he was being to possessive. I decided that since she was now of age and we had been off and on so long that I should at least meet her again in person since I hadn't seen her in over a year. So I invited her to have dinner at my house, it sparked off a great conversation. Later after she went home, she brought up getting together again.
I told her that we should start slow first (July) and see how things developed since she had just got out of a relationship. I also explained that I'm cautious when getting into relationships since I've been burned before. After "talking to each other", I found out that she was quite the catch; beautiful,smart,funny and HONEST. She told me she had been sexually abused when she was a child and that her family was also physically abusive, I couldn't believe how honest she was with me. After some thought, I decided to make us official and give it a shot. From the start she was affectionate and supportive, while she was still in town, we saw each other at least 3 times a week. Everything was WONDERFUL, then time came for her to leave off to college, we agreed that we would alternate visiting each other (about a 1hr drive).
Everything seemed set, except on her way to college her car brokedown. When they towed it, they found out the engine was completely dead and my girlfriend had no way to replace it. In other words, if I wanted to see her, I would be doing ALL the driving. But I liked her and I was starting to care for her so I did it. For about a month and a half, things went smooth. She was getting used to her college schedule and we planned at least once or twice a week for me to drive out there and spend some time with her. It all went SO smoothly and we got along so great, I thought I had found someone that would be in my life for quite sometime. However, I didn't know what was about to come... I mentioned how my girlfriend said she was sexually and physically abused right? Well the only family in her life due to this was her brother. They had left their family behind to start fresh together. The two of them had never been separated. That was the downfall of our relationship. Her brother had problems in this area and decided to leave to go to their home state to get himself together. Shortly after he left, I noticed that I wasn't hearing from my girlfriend that often and she would even fail to answer the phone if I tried to call her. This just wasn't her, coming from a girl who had been after me for TWO YEARS!
I was finally able to get ahold of her one night and called her out on her lack of contact with me. She said she had been thinking about it and because of her problems with her brother she was a wreck and didn't have time for anyone. She also mentioned something about her abusive biological father trying to get back into her life. From there she stated that she wanted to breakup with me because she can't take her life at the moment and it would be unfair to me since she doesn't have the time. I told her that we didn't have to breakup, that I would give her space because I cared about her and that part of a relationship is working out the problems. She refused and also began to admit that anytime large problems occur in her life, she has a tendency to let her boyfriend go because she doesn't want him involved or exposed to those problems.
Out of nowhere, I went from happily in a relationship to single overnight!! This was a girl that chased me and now she was letting me go. Even though we were only OFFICIALLY together for a month and a half, I really care for this girl and I want your opinions on what I should do. She stated that if she got her life in check she would want to be with me again. Should I believe in her and try to get her back or am I wasting my time. PLEASE HELP. P.S sorry for the long, drawn out story, I have a lot on my mind
