Hi I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now and I cheated on him. I feel terrible about it, and regret it SO MUCH. I love my boyfriend and we have an extremely strong relationship-- we rarely even fight. We are honestly perfect for one another and I know he's going to propose to me as soon as we both finish our degrees. At first I decided I wasn't going to tell him about it because "what he doesn't know can't hurt him".. also, I feel like if I tell him, I'm doing the selfish thing and just trying to take the burden off my own back. If I don't tell him, I force myself to live with what I did, and forever feel guilty-- which I think I deserve anyway.. so that's why I didn't want to tell him..
Upon further thought though, I think that if I actually plan on being with this guy for the rest of my life, I need to come clean and let him know what happened. I was totally drunk at the time and barely even remember it-- the fact I know it happened is killing me though.
I don't want to make excuses or try to say that what I did was right, but I scared to death that I will lose him if I tell him-- which I guess, ultimately I deserve to for what I did.
Anyway, here is the real problem. I'm away for school (half way across the country).. he actually just visited me, but I didn't feel right telling him because he paid so much to come see me. Should I wait until I go home for christmas to tell him in person? Or should I do it over the phone asap? I AM ABSOLUTELY PETRIFIED TO DO THIS... Please help me.. what should I do?
Cheating is something I am so against.. to me, it is like the worst possible thing a person could ever, ever do. It is so unlike me, and I still cannot understand why I did it. I am as sorry as ever and it is definitely something I will NEVER EVER do again..
What do I do?