I have a few things to say about adoption 1. Talk about it with the child it will hurt them if you don't I know my parents adopted me when I was 2 days old it effeccted me when they tole my real mom that when I was 8 she was not allowed to see me I had no idea tell I was 18 that that was what really happened 2 don't lie to them about their real mom or dad it wil;l catch up to you and then they will resent you for lying to them 3 treat them like they were your own kids not like a hired hand. My parents treated me like a slave and my othere white sister like a princess! So be careful please I know whatit is like
If you have questions pleaes feel free to ask me
Still A Live

First, your "real" mom and dad are the people who raised you. The ones who fed you, clothed you, cared for you when you were sick, etc. Don't ever confuse the people who gave birth to you with the people who raised you.

Second, I'm sorry you had such a bad experience with adoptive parents. From what I've heard your experience is the exception not the rule.

I do agree with you that the fact of adoption should not be hidden from adopted children. As soon as they are old enough to understand they should be told.

As to keeping the bio parents from meeting with the adopted child, that needs to be handled on a case to case basis. There are often good reasons on either side of that question.

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Originally Posted by Still A live

I have a few things to say about adoption 1. Talk about it with the child it will hurt them if you dont I know my parents adopted me when I was 2 days old it effeccted me when they tole my real mom that when I was 8 she was not allowed to see me I had no idea tell I was 18 that that was what really happened 2 dont lie to them about thier real mom or dad it wil;l catch up to you and then they will resent you for lying to them 3 treat them like they were your own kids not like a hired hand. My parents treated me like a slave and my othere white sister like a princess! so be careful please I know whatit is like
If you have questions pleaes feel free to ask me
Still A Live

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Well I think adoption is bad because people can adopt you and then abuse you because we have a system that doesn't care about adopted people

Adoption is awful

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Originally Posted by exotic pet

well I think adoption is bad because people can adopt you and then abuse you because we have a system that doesnt care about adopted people

adoption is awful

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Apparently you were abused by the system somehow. I'm sorry that happened to you. But that is no reason to totally condemn adoption. In most adoptions, the adoptive parents are loving and take good care of the children. Are there abuses? Sure there are. But adopted children have just as much rights. To say that the system doesn't care about them is to not know how the system works in most places.

Well the system didn't care about me and I do think that counts as something even if it is just one person that gets abused by the system than they can hate adoption no one should say its OK that I was abused by the system you are wrong if you had been abused dlike me you would hate adoption to so don't tell me its OK its not OK this is why I hate adoption no one ever cares about how the adopted person gets treated I hate adoption and well always think it's a failure to society

I'm not saying that it was OK that you were abused by the system (though I would like to understand how you were abused). I can understand that it has caused you bitterness.

But to say that no one cares about adoptees and that adoption is a failure is not being fair and doesn't fit the vast majority of adoptions. Maybe ifyou explained what happened to you we might beable to help you understand and deal with it.

I don't think its fair that these people adopted me and then abused me and nobody cared that I was abused I don't think that's fair to have to live like that I should have been loved like other people instead of all this dam abuse that was put on me by my adoptive parents if they wanted to be abusive they should have abused dthemselves I don't think adoption is fair

Again, you are condemning (unfairly) a whole institution over your bad experience. I have to ask who did you report this abuse to? When were you adopted? What happened when you reported it?

This is why I hate adoption because people like you think adoption is wonderful and then when a child is abused by there adoptive aprents it is overlooked this is making me mad don't tell me I should like it maybe you need to get a reality check about adoption I thought maybe this place would help me I was wrong and this is why I hate adoption because when you ask for help nobody wants to help a bunch of f5s

I am tryng to help you! I have offered help. But to be able to help you need to give us information! You need to tell us at what age you were adopted, what happened to you, what you tried to do about it, etc.

If you are just going to sit there and post unsubstantiated attacks on the adoption in general, that's not going to cut it.

I didn't tell you should like what happened to you. I've tried to be sympathetic, but frankly my patience is wearing thin. I know a number of people who have adopted and been adopted who have had very happy families. From what I've heard the vast majority of adoptions workout well. This doesn't mean that there aren't any horror stories or abuses.

But if you really want help, we are hear to try and help, but you have to answer our questions so we can help.

Continued here: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adopti...ed-138290.html

I totally agree, I was adopted at the age of 5 , I was adopted by my aunt and uncle. My aunt told me that my real mom was my aunt and my brother and sisters were my cousins. Around the age of 11 or 12 I found out the truth. Now I eventually got to spend SOME time w/ my mom, but I did not have the time my sisters and brother did. I felt like I will never have that . Now she is gone and my (BIO.) dad is still here and the situation is the same. I have not had the time that my Step sister and brothers did. And he does not want to talk about it. All I know is that my bio. Family on my dads side is dwindling away(died) fast and I feel that I will NEVER get any answers. I know that I am Native American, but do not know what kind, what tribe or aqny of that. So, Yes, I TOTALLY agree with you. If you would like to talk, {email address removed-<>} just let me know it is you. Put adoption or something so I will know it is you hun. Thank you for posting your comment. I am now looking for two boys I gave up for adoption years ago. I was told at the time that they would know when they got older, but do not know at this time if they were actually told. Again, thank you. Hope to talk soon.

Hey I am glad to have heard from you I know what you mean I have three little brothers and Sisters and they all are still very young and I am sorry that they got to grow up with our mom and I didn't know that we have found eachothere we do not talk though and it saddens me I would love to have a realashionship with her but all the Lies and years past have hurt us very deeply!
I hope and pray for your two boys that they will see things in a better light!
I too am native American I don't know what tribe I am from as well and no one will tell me any thing or who my dad(bio) is and it is very fusturating!
If you would like you can find me on my space at Amy Wright
OK looking forward to hear from you again!
Amy Wright