:confused: My ex of five years broke up with me August 15 right before he went back to college. He can't tell me why but I think he did it because he just wants to be free in college cause its his first year. All through our relationship we had times where we would break up and he'd see someone else but like 2 to 3 months later he'd come back to me. We got into a bad argument and he called me a . We didn't talk after that for like a week. Then I called him and we talked about our problems and he told me he didn't mean it that he was just mad. He also told me that he had a friend in college. I was hurt, so I found me a friend to converse with to get him off my mind... well word got back to him that I had a friend and he cursed me out bad! He called me a again he said he hated me and all that crap! That was our last conversation. But if he don't care about me and he hates me then why did he even bother to get mad if I had a friend... he's got a friend. But anyway, its been like two weeks since we've talked and when I text him he won't text back, and when I call he won't return my calls or answer them so I've let that go... but I love him so much he's my heart. I was there for this dude when his friends walked out on him... I took care of him. I've basically done too much for him when I called him last weekend he answered but it was a short talk because I asked him was he busy and he said yea so I said bye. Will he come back to me when he comes home from school? Should I worry myself or should I just let him have fun in college and maybe he'll come to his senses when he returns home. I really love this guy to death he's my heart. What should I do? I need answers bad! Because I really want him to come back to me! And I wonder if he's forgot about me?

Do u think he's let go of a five year relationship just like that?

Give him time don't make him seem important your just getting on his nerves. Ifs been about 3 weeks its hard to say if he'll be back. Right now he feels free. He just doesn't want a relationship right now. Don't make it seem like if you will die for him cause he will just feel control over you and you don't want that so just hang out with friends find something to entertain yourself with your very young you have your whole life ahead of you and if your in college you shouldn't stressing over that you shoud think about your future and one day when day he will see you and how well you doing and see himself and feel bad for what he's done and see that your better then that.

Thanks for the advice... it made me feel a whole lot better! :) deep down inside I want him back. I know when he comes home from school things will change but I have to be strong for myself because he has the state of mind that "he can get me when he wants me." But I just really want to know does he hate me foreal or was he just saying whatever came to mind to make him feel better because he was mad... Because you will say anything to make you feel better when your mad. Words just can't explain how much we connect and the things we have in common. I really love him... im not in love with him anymore but I still feel a connection. I know I messed up when I called him like 2 weeks ago. Because his buddy told me that he had a friend so I called and asked him<<thats where I messed up! But still he deny's her. He said she's only a friend and that he is not in love with her. I should have never asked but it was just something I wanted to know. But now I feel so stupid wanting him back knowning that it probably will never happen :(

When cornered most of us will do what's needed to get in a better position and being placed "in a corner" never feels good no matter how important a question/s is/are to us. The response from one who's cornered will be hard to interpret. If there were a line drawn to define what is and isn't your buisiness you can be sure that line is now closer to you than before so consider his privacy and your dignity when needing to ask questions. Is dignity to strong of a word? Well most people do sense another's character as well as many other qualities in those they grow to know and no matter what our actions are there will always be a person's inner qualities which will carry the day. Now that you are weighing the situation you could balance the scale by involving yourself to the same degree a first year student has.

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I'm not in love with him anymore but I still feel a connection.

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You are so confused now, and given the history of break up and makeup, its understandable. Give yourself time to get over this relationship, and let all the emotional dust settle. Cut all contact with him and his friends, and let your heart mend, it will take time, but you will be able to see things in very
Realistic and healthy way.

Ok well a month after our break up which was October 4th... I went to Mississippi to see my brother... (my ex lives with my brother). When I told him I was coming to stay for the weekend he was like OK what you telling me for and all that crap. Then he was like you won't see me. So I was like I'm not coming to see you I was just letting you know so there won't be any surprises. Ok so when I got up there it was a whole different story. He was talking to me holding conversations and then he made a pass on me. I was walking from the television back to the couch to sit down and as I passed him he pulled my arm and pulled me close to him and started kissing on my neck. He squeezed me and hugged me tight and whispered in my ear... I MISS YOU! I started to cry. Then we had sex and during that time he whispered again in my ear... ITS STILL YOURS BABY! Oh god why did I have sex with him. Then we went to the fair but he was with his boys and I was with my brother. We even went to the club together. He left before I did though and he texted my phone and said I stopped at huddle house to get a bite to eat I'll be there shortly and I was thinking why is he telling me these things? So I'm confused now. Oh yeah I went through his cellphone while he was taking a shower and he didn't have anybody in there up under my baby or my sweetheart or my girl. He only had texts from boys and a dyke. But he did have someone in it up under grown woman and little sexy! Help me I don't know what to think or to do. Oh yeah he won a bear at the fair. I'm wondering if its for a girl or for him. So when he got in the shower I punched a hole in it so all the white beads came out! What should I do! What do you think about this situation. Is there still something there for us and do you think he will come back to me?what do you think

I think if he still wanted you, he would have contacted you before you went to your brother's. He got a piece of familiar tail. There is nothing more than that. Leave him alone.

You must realise that any contact or communications will muddy your feelings and thinking, leaving you confused and wonderuing. Throw in sex and you are miserable. Leave him alone so you can get some sanity back.

He wants his freedom at college and he wants you to wait. He can have a girlfriend but he wants you there for him -typical guy. Ask him why is it okay for him to see another girl but you aren't allowed to have a guy friend. That is a controlling guy. He will probably want to get back with you for the summer when he isn't at school and then break up again when he goes back. As Talaniman said don't let him play with your emotions!
If you put up with it he will keep on doing whatever he can get away with. You are better off getting on with your life and if you are still available when he is ready for a serious relationship then you can decide on taking him back or not. I wouldn't sit at home waiting on a maybe he will want me back.

Why are you wasting your time on someone who calls you foul names and treats you with such disrespect? Forget love girl. There is not enough love in the world worth being disrespected. Give your heart a break and use your head. Lose this guy.

Thank you all for your advice! :) it hurt me but hey... the truth hurts

I wish you peace young lady. You deserve to be respected.

I really do because I was so good to this guy and he just broke my heart !

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Originally Posted by neshaj1

Ok well a month after our break up which was october 4th...i went to mississippi to see my brother...(my ex lives with my brother). when i told him i was coming to stay for the weekend he was like ok what u telling me for and all that crap. Then he was like you wont see me. So i was like im not coming to see u i was just letting you know so there wont be any surprises. Ok so when i got up there it was a whole different story. He was talking to me holding conversations and then he made a pass on me. I was walking from the television back to the couch to sit down and as i passed him he pulled my arm and pulled me close to him and started kissing on my neck. He squeezed me and hugged me tight and whispered in my ear.... I MISS YOU! i started to cry. then we had sex and during that time he whispered again in my ear....ITS STILL YOURS BABY! oh god why did i have sex with him. Then we went to the fair but he was with his boys and i was with my brother. We even went to the club together. He left before i did though and he texted my phone and said i stopped at huddle house to get a bite to eat i'll be there shortly and i was thinking why is he telling me these things? so im confused now. oh yeah i went through his cellphone while he was taking a shower and he didnt have anybody in there up under my baby or my sweetheart or my girl. he only had texts from boys and a dyke. but he did have someone in it up under grown woman and lil sexy! help me i dont know what to think or to do. oh yeah he won a bear at the fair. im wondering if its for a girl or for him. so when he got in the shower i punched a hole in it so all the white beads came out! what should i do! what do u think about this situation. is there still something there for us and do u think he will come back to me?what do u think

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How wonderful to hear you saw him in Mississippi, I bet couldn't wait to get there. WHAT WILL IT TAKE for you to GET THE PICTURE. He has you wraped around all his fingers and all his toes. Stay away. No contact, never. BE SMART!!