Ask Me Help Desk - My 7 yrs relationship

Ust to up date you on the situation between me and my partner I did what what I thought was right and made very little contct and he started to call me.. they were nice conversations and I thought things were going to turn around.. Then on Sunday (Yesterday) I popped to see him he did know I was going to see him as I called first he was quiet when I arrived then he said he didn't think I was coming because I didn't get there till 4.45 I had spoken to him at 2pm.. I said I had things to do prior to visiting him that was OK then he said I told you it was over a month ago and all I had been doing was trying to get him to change his mind so I asked him why he had been calling me he said he worries about me also last Thursday when he called we had an intimate phone conversation which ended with phone sex ( don't think bad of me will you) when I asked him what that was all about he said you started it by sending him a photo he responded to it so he gave me mixed messages that's not fair is it? So I have now told him that he's not to call me at all and to stay away I just walked away from him at that point he did say then that he didn't now what he wants and it was me who wanted answers so because I said I wanted closer then he would do what I wanted.. I just want to hurt him now like he's hurt me should I tell him I am seeing someone else I do know one thing that would hurt him like he's hurt me.. I am sorry to have to bother you with my problems but I don't know what to do now.. All my friends keep telling me to do different things Help me please

Awaiting your reply

Your hurt but revenge is not the answer. To get healthy simply cut all contact with him, and leave him alone. Follow the links in my signature for some much needed insights.

Thanks for the advice and I have told him not to contact.. which he had been doing because he said he worries about me and he cares so do you think that by taking away from him what he wanted to keep will make him think about things and make his mind up once and for all, he just says he doses not know what he wants anymore.. a one minute and in the next breath he says its over so if its over why does he think he can all when he wants and call for coffee when he wants which he did last Saturday.. I am still confussed

Carole

You seem pretty determined to get him back. But 7 years in a relationship can really take its toll on some people. They get lost. Loose focus on what they want and who they are. Unfortunately, when this happens, people can also fall out of love with their partner or loose touch with being in love. It just happens because of the same old routine, board with the relationship, the spark is not kept alive, and the excitement is gone.

He cares for you and worries for you because you were apart of 7 years of his life. But I don't think he is IN love with you anymore. Not trying to be harsh just realistic.

Its only natural to want him back. He was a huge part of your life for 7 years and now a void is there. But you can't make someone love you. The best advice you will find is to concentrate on you. Make you happy again. Cut contact for awhile and work on making you a whole person again.

Quote:

Make you happy again. Cut contact for awhile and work on making you a whole person again.

Stop talking to him and find happiness for yourself. Kick him out of your picture of life, that you want for yourself.