I need help! I found out my husband was cheating again, so I decided to find my own
Extracrricular activities... A younger guy. I am still with my husband, but I think I have some feelings for this younger guy. Although I am not quite sure if I like the whole
Game thing. (I have been seeing him for about 6 months) I am a 33 year old mother of three, I am tired of being the door mat for my husband. Has anyone had these thoughts,
How do I know if I am enjoying the game of having an affair/fling, or If I should leave my husband and pursue a relationship with the younger guy... or stay... or is this
Like a revenge thing against my husband... I am constantly thinking of this younger guy,
Maybe its some sick obsession... I do not know!

Yeah you need help. You both do. And that's the truth. I don't know if I see a positive outcome in this situation, especially since children are involved. I will tell you this, though. Revenge wasn't the answer. Now you are just as guilty as him.

If you and your husband are both seeing other people, why are you even still together? There is obviously no trust or honesty in this marriage.

I think before you pursue a relationship with anybody, you need to figure out the root of your problems with your husband. Cheating on him because he's cheating on you is not the solution, it is just adding on to the pile of problems. As I'm sure you have heard, two wrongs don't make a right.

As for you and the younger guy, it could be that its an "adventure", I guess you could say, because you are sleeping with someone besides the person you are married to. Like taking a bite of the forbidden fruit.

If you both are cheating, and looking outside your marriage for happiness and excitement, why are you still married?

The marriage is obviously over... why not get a divorce instead of causing further harm to your family?

I agree with everyone else. The point of a marriage is to be exclusive to each other, and especially, to love each other. Having other partners gets rid of the exclusivity, and it doesn't seem like you love him too much if you're out for revenge. The decision is yours though.

I was waiting to hear you say something regarding the concern of the children; I guess this is all about you. :mad:

You and your husband both give marriage a bad name. Now that I got that out of the way - instead of finding revenge in doing the same, why don't you work on your marriage, and show your three children what a family is supposed to be, instead of teaching them to lie and decieve the ones they love. If not divorce, it's that simple!! I sure don't think you'd want your children growing up, marrying and treating their spouses the way your husband and yourself are doing. Its just ridiculous!

Poor Kids , Both parents with bad judgement. When both of your minds are somewhere else , caught up in deception and drama. Who is there for your 3 little ones. Teaching, reading, playing with or hugging them. Do either of you have time for that?

I wonder, if he's going out and cheating on you, and you're out cheating on him, who's staying with the kids?! Who's teaching them right from wrong? Who's showing them that life isn't filled with lies and revenge? You made the obligation to take care of those three kids the moment you gave birth to them, and frankly you aren't! I know it is hard to find your husband/boyfriend cheating on you, its devastating, but this isn't just about you and your revenge, three lives depend on you. In short, my advice is to work on your marriage like all the others said and stop acting like a bunch of 2 year olds in a sandbox!

So when you are out with your younger man and your husband is out with his girlfriend where are the kids? How about a little concern over your children. If you are both concentrating on extra martial affairs then the kids are not getting the attention that they deserve. You both need to grow up, deal with the problems in your marriage, and care for and nurture your children. If things are bad enough to make you both cheat, then you better believe that the kids know something is going on.

Well to start with you are wrong and need to stop the affair. Just because he's acting like a Horse's (Anatomical reference) does not give you license to sink to the same level of duplicity.

How did you find out? A non friend? Personally I would never want to hurt my lady in that way. No one needs that pain.

My suggestion would be to drag his butt, kicking and screaming to professional help. Your needs to have a heart to heart conversation with himself and figure out why he needs to chase other skirts.

He cheats with the same girl, I suspected, I had gotten all his cell phone records, bank statements, than I recorded our house, his car, and his office... I also got on his email account, found out what they were planning. Of course he cried a river, as usual. I am
Very cold, and just don't care anymore... He knows he has me over a barrel because he has all the money, everything I have is basiclly his.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dipo74

He cheats with the same girl, I suspected, I had gotten all his cell phone records, bank statements, than I recorded our house, his car, and his office......I also got on his email account, found out what they were planning. Of course he cried a river, as usual. I am
very cold, and just don't care anymore....He knows he has me over a barrel because he has all the money, everything I have is basiclly his.

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If you don't care anymore, then leave. I'm sorry, but staying with him because he has money and can support you is wrong. My father skipped out on my mother and me and my siblings, and left us with nothing. We are all still alive.

Its like you are using your marriage as a tool : your husband can support you, so why not stay with him, but sleep with someone else, right? You need to show him that you can make it without him, you don't need him, or any of his crap. Cheating for revenge doesn't ever help anything, it just makes things worse.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dipo74

I need help! I found out my husband was cheating again, so I decided to find my own
extracrricular activities....A younger guy. I am still with my husband, but I think I have some feelings for this younger guy. Although I am not quite sure if I like the whole
game thing. (I have been seeing him for about 6 months) I am a 33 year old mother of three, I am tired of being the door mat for my husband. Has anyone had these thoughts,
how do I know if I am enjoying the game of having an affair/fling, or If I should leave my husband and pursue a relationship with the younger guy.......... or stay ..........or is this
like a revenge thing against my husband......I am constantly thinking of this younger guy,
maybe its some sick obsession.....I do not know!

---

Hi dear ,
Ur doing absolutely wrong thing , because when u get married then u belongs ur husband. If ur christian go through bible what it says . My suggestion is avoid this affair forever , otherwise family will ruin , satan want to distroy ur life , think about this one and moreover u have to think of ur children also . I guess u will take right decision all the best my dear ,


This is clement

Hi Dipo74,

Look just because you perceive that he has you over a barrel is no reason for you to abdicate to his trash. In my world, my wife uses one word to cause me to rein in any fantasies I may be growing. The word is "Autopsy" and she has the final say as to whether I can attend the autopsy as a live or dead fellow. Now I may be dumb, but even I can figure out she's not 100% in favor of that behavior.

Your situation in now different, you are doing the same thing so you've earned the response, "You are no better that I."

I suggest that you terminate your affair because it is wrong, regardless of the spin you put on it. Sit his fanny down and tell him face to face that his affair needs to end because its killing you and the rest of the family. You might want to ask him why he feels it necessary to go elsewhere for his dirty little tryst. Why he can't see the hurt and pain his dalliance is causing? Is this why we married? While the packaging of the other lady may be different than your packaging, the raw product is the same. You do not have anything the other lady doesn't have. Take pride in yourself and claim your dignity!

On the topic, go see a divorce attorney so that you have a clear understanding of your legal exposures should you file for a divorce.

From my perspective, I'd enjoy finding another woman. Heck, it's one of my fantasies bu it stays just that a fantasy. My wife is no more special than any other woman, except to me. To me, my wife means home, comfort, LOVE, play. Why would I ever want to kill that off. We married at 18 and are still together after 42 years. My lady has made that possible for us. Why would I stab her through the back and heart, just to chase a skirt.

I cannot think of a single reason to even start down that road. Loving at home is where I need to be, not inside another woman's pants!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dipo74

He cheats with the same girl, I suspected, I had gotten all his cell phone records, bank statements, than I recorded our house, his car, and his office......I also got on his email account, found out what they were planning. Of course he cried a river, as usual. I am
very cold, and just don't care anymore....He knows he has me over a barrel because he has all the money, everything I have is basiclly his.

---

Maybe you should worry a lot less about what you'll end up with after a divorce, and worry more about creating a stable environment for your kids. What's missing in your whole thread here is your concern over the kids. Don't worry about losing all your personal stuff or a certain lifestyle you've become accustomed to. You are basically saying "I'm going to cheat on him because he's doing it to me, and maintaining my lifestyle is more important to me then the consequences my children will have to endure".

You are really selfish. Get out, even if it means you leave with just the clothes on your back.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dipo74

He cheats with the same girl, I suspected, I had gotten all his cell phone records, bank statements, than I recorded our house, his car, and his office......I also got on his email account, found out what they were planning. Of course he cried a river, as usual. I am
very cold, and just don't care anymore....He knows he has me over a barrel because he has all the money, everything I have is basiclly his.

---

Two wrongs don't make a right. If you want to move on move on. Get your things in order and move out. Get yourself a good lawyer. But stop cheating!

All I know that getting revenge is not the solution for anything, at the end you'll just end up miserable and unhappy.