Ask Me Help Desk - My ex-gurl her new baby and other stuff so what should I do

My ex-gurl her new baby and other stuff so what should I do

[F]OK I'm how to say this well me and my ex-gurl named geneva from brooklyn ny and me from newark nj have known each other for over a year now and she got pregnant and told me for much of the time she carried the baby that he was mine she had him 2 months premature.
OK so we been off and on for a near year we still talk and have sexual relations, so here's my problem me and her broke up again and we are in family court to get the dna test for the baby cause I want him to be mine.
I have been in a deep depression a lot lately I want to have geneva back in my life but she is still wiped over her ex-man named anthony hill she adds him on Facebook and myspace and took me off her list but then adds me back but not as number one "she tell me that she dont talk to him no more or email him due even though she told me got the baby stuff but she has given our stuff back, i told her that i can't replace her in anyway from how good she loved me including sex and she know that but i think she has been taking advantage of me and thinking im stupid i gotta good feeling she still talk to her ex, she know's i dont like him for why cause she tried to disrespect me b4 and i had to put him in his place.
but yeah me and her family never really get along especially her mother she hated me or still those with a passion.

i have told geneva that even if the baby isnt mine that i want to be in both there lives, but i know she plans to leave n go south to MD but i got a feeling she would do that to get away from me or run away with the other guy. right now in my life i feel so lost im 24 be 25 oct 21 and i feel so bored with my life i mean money or school or work dont interest me anymore i have gone to counseling for 4 months for all that me and her have gone thru, but i can't afford it no longer. i feel so sad n angry when i see others with there lil new born babys and there gurlfriend i feel so useless and alone i can't shake it i need help comfort and legit advice i just feel tired of getting up everyday feeling alone it took me along time to meet a gurl like that, but she has cheated on me b4 via myspace, and thru ex's or men she met other ways.
i mean is my time with her over or been over am i being a sucker,loser like she said i mean im getting old and no women in my area nj-nyc area dont find me good looking im just so alone and i dont know what too??? i know i call her too much but the majority of my calls i get from her or make too her and we have had good convo's lately but she is the type to listen but dont react or do anything. is there anything i can do to get her back or should just barely keep a friendship with her i mean she might be pregnant again by me her period hasnt come in nearly 5 weeks???? i dont know if she has gotten the results back yet but she told she will not keep it but i said too is sad u will not keep my baby but keep his and its not fair!!! i have told her that i want to get back with her again, i mean is it healthy that we still sleep with each other???? i told her i dnt just wanna be the guy that sex you every week "I don't want to just be bed buddies" I want somthin legit with her again but I know she cheats a lot

Here a pic of the baby THOSE HE LOOK LIKE ME AT ALL and HERE ME AND HIS MOMhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...s-Pictures.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...OST/Me-Her.jpg

I MEAN HAVE I BEEN TOO WHIPED ON HER SHE PUT HER EX MAN ON EVERY WEB PAGE OR SITE SHE EVER HAD AND ITS NOT FAIR

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Originally Posted by AntJon82

[F]ok im how to say this well me and my ex-gurl named geneva from brooklyn ny and me from newark nj have known each other for over a year now and she got pregnant and and told me for much of the time she carried the baby that he was mine she had him 2 months premature. ok so we been off and on for a near year we still talk and have sexual relations, so here my problem me and her broke up again and we are in family court to get the dna test for the baby cause i want him to be mine.

Ant, I'm confused. If she believes the baby was yours why did she name him Anthony? Was she really naming the child after this other guy or for some other reason? Because that implies to me despite what she told you, she feels differently about who the child is.

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Originally Posted by AntJon82

i have been in a deep depression alot lately i want to have geneva back in my life but she is still wiped over her ex man also named anthony hill she add him on face book and took me off her list but then adds me back but not as number one "she tell me that she dont talk to him no more or email him due to her pages getting hacked as well as her yahoo emails"

Once again we have another little life that didn't ask for any of this and now the parents or at least one and another that wants to be the parent are fighting over Facebook rankings. Who the f**k cares? Seriously, both of you need to grow up in that regard. Both you, especially her since we do know that it is her baby should have left middle school a decade ago.

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Originally Posted by AntJon82

i told her that i can't replace her in anyway from how good she loved me

You give this girl way too much credit. Exactly how did she love you? She knowingly lied and told you, you were the father to a child when apparently she was having relations with another man. That's not love. That's not even liking you. Quite honestly that's one of the worst things she could do to you.

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Originally Posted by AntJon82

to the sex and she know that but i think she has been taking advantage of me

Let me just confirm your suspicions. She has been taking advantage of you. You, to your credit, have done nothing but go out of your way for her to make this as comfortable a situation as possible and she could care less.

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Originally Posted by AntJon82

and thinking im stupid i gotta good feeling she still talk to her ex, she know i dont like him for why cause she tried to disrespect me b4 and i had to put him in his place.

I'm sorry, I realize I have no idea what he did prior that you felt you must put him in his place but I get so tired of seeing the woman obviously disrespect the man (or in this case men) in her life and the guy gets mad at the other guy. The one disrespecting you is her. Face that reality.

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Originally Posted by AntJon82

but yeah me and her family never really get along especially her mother she hated me or still those with a passion.

Why?

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Originally Posted by AntJon82

i have told geneva that even if the baby isnt mine that i want to be in both there lives

Why?

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Originally Posted by AntJon82

but i know she plans to leave n go south to MD but i got a feeling she would do that ot get away from me or run away with the other guy.

So even if you are the father, she still intends on running away with another guy? There's no question she's a liar but so are you. You are lying to yourself and you need to start facing the truth. She is not the person you make her out to be.

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Originally Posted by AntJon82

right now in my life i feel so lost im 325 be 25 oct 21

Dude, trust me….TRUST ME when I tell you that you are not the first person to ever feel lost at 25. Sometimes I still feel lost at 30 and I suppose it will be that way at times at 50 but you have to find some things you like or would like to learn about and follow some interests. Furthermore as you live your life new people and interests will pop up.

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Originally Posted by AntJon82

and i feel so bored with my life i mean money or school or work dont interest me i have gone to counseling for 4 months for all that me and her have gone thru but i can't afford it no longer.

I recommend getting a diary. Write everything out. I also recommend that you start working out, or at least walking for an hour a day. Exercise helps depression.

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Originally Posted by AntJon82

i feel so sad n angry when i see other with there lil new born babys and there gurlfriend i feel so useless and alone i can't shake it i need help comfort and legit advice i just feel tired of getting up everyday feeling alone it took me along time to meet a gurl like that but she has cheated on me b4 via myspace, and thru ex's or men she met other ways.

Dude, if she cheated with you before then SHE is the one with the problems. Not you. You are blaming yourself for her behavior which is an emotional reaction to make some sense of the situation but it is not based in any kind of logic. You can't control her behavior and her behavior towards you is not that of love, compassion, or caring in any way. Just from reading this one post I've already determined that you are a man who has a heart, thoughtful, and wanting the best for others. Well, let me extend that offer back to you. I want the best for you, and that means finding someone who will not put you through this drama and who will appreciate you for being loyal, available, and obviously a caring father. I wish you'd like that for yourself, and if you stop and think about it….and I mean really stop and go over that in your mind and start recognizing you deserve more then she can offer perhaps you can launch yourself onto a path where by that can happen or the seeds for that can be planted for that to happen.

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Originally Posted by AntJon82

i mean is my time with her over or been over am i being a sucker,loser like she said

Wait a minute. This woman lied one way or another about her own child to you, and you think you're the sucker and the loser here? I can't even begin to tell you how wrong you are but unlike her, your being wrong is a good thing. Quite honestly she's worse then a loser, she's and evil b*tch who uses a defenseless baby as a bargaining chip between two guys, one of whom wants to actually do the right thing by the child. You sir, are the farthest thing from a loser.

And once again, I'd bet a years salary that this woman is the type of woman who says “There are no good guys out there” when one and possibly two stare her in the face. She's a disgusting excuse for a human being and a mother.

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Originally Posted by AntJon82

i mean im getting old

Uh, you are 25 dude.

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Originally Posted by AntJon82

and no women in my area dont find me good looking

Wrong. No women in your area find yourself defeating attitude attractive.

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Originally Posted by AntJon82

im just so alone and i dont know what too???

When you say your alone, I have to ask have you ever stopped and got to know yourself? What makes you tick, what do you really like, what do you dislike or perhaps what do you dislike but really don't know about? What can you do better or worse then someone else. How can you improve in something. What drives certain behaviors you have? Bluerose has a ton of threads on self discovery and I recommend you at least read some. If it's not for you, nothing lost but I think finding oneself really helps you over come the feeling of being lonely. Make no mistake feeling lonely is just that, a feeling. It's an emotion that you can control as opposed to having the emotion control you. Recognizing it, as you have done is step one. Step two is telling yourself as it comes manifests itself that it is a irrational emotion that was useful at one time in your life but no longer.

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Originally Posted by AntJon82

i know i call her too much

Then quit calling her.

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Originally Posted by AntJon82

but the majority of my calls i get from her or make too her and we have had good convo's lately but she is the type to listen but dont react or do anything.

What does that tell you? Sounds like she emotionally check out.

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Originally Posted by AntJon82

is there anything i can do to get her back or should just barely keep a friendship with her i mean she might be pregnant again by me her period hasnt come in nearly 5 weeks???? and she has gotten the results back yet i have told her that i want to get back with her again i mean is it healthy that we still sleep with each other i told her i dnt just wanna be the guy that sex you every week i want somthin legit with her again but i know she cheats alot

There is nothing healthy about this woman. NOT ONE THING! How can you possibly start a family with a woman who spreads her legs for somebody else at a moment's notice?

Dude, don't you deserve better then this situation? Don't you deserve better then this drama? Don't you deserve better then this woman? I'll answer for you, the answer it yes.

I know nobody ever agrees with me when I make this statement but he's a baby, he looks like a baby. He could be yours, he might not be. But I don't see any resemblance other then that of a baby. Until you have proof I would recommend that you take that view point.

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Originally Posted by AntJon82

I MEAN HAVE I BEEN TOO WHIPED ON HER SHE PUT HER EX MAN ON EVERY WEB PAGE OR SITE SHE EVER HAD AND ITS NOT FAIR

No, it's not. So start being fair to yourself. Start demanding more from you because she's not going to offer it to you. It's not fair and you do deserve better so start accepting and if she doesn't give it to you then that's her loss not yours.

The baby's name is isiah and the guy she been talking too is her ex named anthony also but I was told rumors from her mother and her that she slept with a guy named kevin from her church I'm SO CONFUSED

I think that this girl doesn't really love you. I think she's just playing you now. If it was me, I wouldn't continue to have sexual relations with this person because I would feel used. I think the best thing for you to do is just move on. You could continue to have a friendship with her, but being with alone would most liekly lead to sex. If the cute little baby above is yours, then congrats and you should do anything to keep that baby in your life. If the baby isn't yours but you still want to be in his life, then you should but you shouldn't get romantically involved with your ex. I hope that helped somehow. I hope you start to feel better about yourself and that everything works out! Good luck!

In think you should wait and see if this truly is your child, and regardless, leave this female alone, as she is exploiting your weakness. Work on yourself because there is not a lot you can do for anyone else, unless you can do it for yourself. Learn to love yourself, and this BS with this female will be put in proper perspective, and she will have no power to manipulate you.