Hi,
I was with my ex for 9 months. I hurt him at the beginning of our relationship (I don't know if it matters how, in this context). I guess I wasn't ready for anything at that point, and I made him feel bad about himself (I didn't think we were compatible and I told him why, etc.. ). He was also very hurt because I used to compare him to my ex. Looking back now, I cannot believe that I hurt someone that bad. At the time, I didn't understand why he was hurt.

Although I hurt him, he always wanted to make things work. I still had doubts, but overall, we had a commitment (at least I thought so). We saw each other everyday, stayed over at eachother's places, he would drive me to work, we would go out every Friday etc. I looked forward to seeing him a lot.

About a month ago, he started telling me that I need to acknowledge how much I hurt him in the past or else he will stop seeing me. I felt like that was so long ago and that I was being pushed into doing something. I felt that way for a while, but I still tried to admit my faults - I guess that wasn't good enough for him.

A few weeks ago, he went to a party without me. My friend also went to the same party (they had a mutual friend that I did not know about). They recognized each other at the party because they met through me before. After the party, my ex told me that he met someone at the party who he really liked. This really hurt me. A week later, I found out it was my friend. He lied to her and told her that we had been broken up for a month! I am so hurt by this whole thing. He has been telling me all this stuff for 3 days - things like they have an amazing connection and he can see a future with her. Why would he hurt me like this? I apologied profuselly for hurting him before, because I started to fully understand how he must have felt (except I think my situation is worse because he is actually leaving me for her).

I don't know what to so because I can't handle the thoughts that go through my head. I imagine them getting married etc.. all because of what he told me about how he felt, and I know both of them and can see it happening.

I miss him so much and can't stop crying. She called me today and I told her I was hurt, but I told her that she can date him if she wants to.

I don't want to blame.. or point fingers but what you did in the beginning is WHY he did this. You hurt him in a way that every time he thinks or looks at you, he tells himself he's not good enough. He tells himself this is the girl who I loved and broke my heart when my heart was all hers. Really.. I'm a guy being HURT from a girl is the WORST pain ever.. and to heal himself this is the best way he can think of doing it.