My fiance's Adopted sister is schizophrenic she has her own apartment but her parents have always taken care of her bills. There now moving out of state and told her that if her sister didn't take care of her bills and money then they would turn her over to the state in which she wouldn't get much. They have also told her she can't have a boyfriend because she can't handle it. Thing is I know her and I've talked to her doctors. She's perfectly fine when she's on her medicine and never forgets to take it. I know she can take care of herself and her doctor says the same thing. Now her sister takes care of her money and I think she is stealing from her. What can I do to help her to be able to care for herself when the state has given her sister full conrol of her money? Should I confront her sister and parents or should I leave things be? They made her believe that she can never have a man and that no man will ever want her. They've even told her that she would be a bad mother, I don't think she should have kids because of the possibility of them being schizophrenic but you don't tell someone they would be a bad mother and make them cry like that, she's great with my son. My fiancé (her brother) doesn't like the way his family treats her either. Is there anything I can do?

Jamie, you are a kind and good hearted soul. That being said, you need to stay out of this. You aren't a member of the family yet and all that will happen if you get involved is that all the family members will get angry at you. You will be jeopardizing your relationship with your future in-laws which in turn, may jeopardize your relationship with your fiancé. Please honey, leave this alone. Just listen, be sympathetic, and don't offer up any advice or help.

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Originally Posted by RubyPitbull

Jamie, you are a kind and good hearted soul. That being said, you need to stay out of this. You aren't a member of the family yet and all that will happen if you get involved is that all the family members will get angry at you. You will be jeopardizing your relationship with your future in-laws which in turn, may jeopardize your relationship with your fiance. Please honey, leave this alone. Just listen, be sympathetic, and don't offer up any advice or help.

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His parents already don't like like me and aren't attending our wedding because they think I don't let jon talk to them because he doesn't call him everyday but they don't understand that he works and can't constantly call him especially with a long distance bill. I have no control over how often he calls them. He also doesn't call them much because he's mad that they gave all his stuff away when they moved and didn't give him a chance to get it.

So, your Fiancé has a lot of family drama. That is a shame that they are placing the blame on you. But, you are not responsible for the sister and I am positive that if you get yourself caught up in her affairs, it won't just be the parents who will place blame on you. The rest of the family will too. If you have a decent relationship with the other siblings, you don't want to put that in jeopardy. Unless this sister specifically asks for your help with her finances, you need to leave it alone.

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Originally Posted by RubyPitbull

So, your Fiance has a lot of family drama. That is a shame that they are placing the blame you. But, you are not responsible for the sister and I am positive that if you get yourself caught up in her affairs, it won't just be the parents who will place blame on you. The rest of the family will too. If you have a decent relationship with the other siblings, you don't want to put that in jeopardy. Unless this sister specifically asks for your help with her finances, you need to leave it alone.

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His schizophrenic sister is the only one we get along with really in his family, the thing is she has no say in who takes care of her or handles her money only the state does and her parents and sister have made her believe that she can't do it but me and my fiancé knows she can. Is there something we can do like report to the state or something anonumusly. I mean they are doing illegal things by stealing her money and she doesn't even know about it. We know her sister steals from her because my fiancé used to keep track of her check book when he lived with his parents and she always had enough money for everything she needed now she can hardly get any groceries because there's not enough money but she still gets the same amount of money from the state and we have to get her groceries with our money sometimes. It shouldn't be like that.

If she is an adult and is under the control of the State, if you know what department handles her case, your fiancé (not you) AND this sister, should go there and request that someone look into how her appointed guardian is handling her affairs. She needs to be the one to ask for the investigation. If they find that her money is being mismanaged, he can be appointed as her guardian. But you need to warn him that he will be creating a MAJOR rift in his family if he chooses to go this route. AND, you need to keep in mind that if SHE is unwilling to do this, there is NOTHING that her brother or you, can do about this situation. You will need to just stay out of it and let her be.

Thank you for your advice. It is very helpful and much appriciated