Hi there... I posted a few days ago about how to handle NC with my ex regarding a home we own together. Well today I'm writing because I miss the hell out of her and I feel so lonely. My story: We've been together 8yrs and she just was never sure if I was the "one". We had problems just like any other couple, but they weren't things that we couldn't at least TRY to work on. We took a break 2months ago and started the whole counseling bit. But half way through the planned counseling (3weeks ago) she decided that she wasn't moving in the direction of getting back together (there was A LOT that happened in between, but I guess at this point it is irrelevant). So I let her go and have gone into NC. I told her that I couldn't talk to her and she was upset at this because we are best friends. She tried to call the first weekend regarding something about the house we've owned for 3yrs and then sent a couple of e-mails. I have not returned her calls or e-mails. But I'm going crazy! I am CRAZY about this girl and miss her tremendously. I'm really going through the most stressful period of my life right now. I have only 2 very close friends who NEVER leave their homes. I also am going through a crisis where I feel like I made the wrong career choice (and I have NO idea what to do.. back to school? Change industries?. so confused and frustrated). Being at work is mental torture that sometimes I feel like I'm going to lose it. Oh yeah, and I just turned 30. I feel so alone without her. And I'm so terrified of my future without her. She was/is my best friend and to have someone to turn to and confide in for 8yrs and just like that they're gone is SO painful. I've never experienced anything like this before. She hasn't attempted to call me at all and I know it's because she's respecting the fact that I have to get over her although I know she's missing me and wondering how I'm doing (she's very disciplined and head-strong). I got home yesterday and she obviously had been at the house to pick up mail (she's at her parents) and left a note asking about the mortgage and bills for the house and saying that we needed to discuss what we wanted to do (rent, sell, buyout, etc.). I'm so lost. My life is so upside down and so different. I miss our closeness and having her in my life to talk to. I don't understand how two people can love each other so much and drift apart so fast. Maybe there's someone else? I don't know. And I want to ask her. But I do have to talk to her about the house and I just don't know how to handle it. We broke up on friendly terms, so getting an attorney I don't think is necessary (at least not at this point). There are moments when I feel strong and not emotional (like last night) where I feel like I could have a conversation on the phone with her and talk about business, but I'm scared I'll go back to square one. One of my friends thinks I should just ignore her and wait a few more weeks, but it is her house too and she's been asking about things in the house (our air-conditioner was broken and she found out about it through a mutual friend.. but I took care of it) and I just don't feel right keeping her in the dark. Is it OK for me to call her on one of my strong moments? Wait a few weeks more? (I'm much better than a few weeks ago). Just ignore her? I have to talk to her eventually..

Im only 20, and I've never had a long term relationship, but I'll try and give the best advice I can as someone outside the box. You were with this woman for a very long time so its going to hurt like MAD for awhile anyway, but that does get better even though it feels like its not. As for the NC, you've got a tricky situation to sort out with the house and stuff.
Maybe you could get a friend to help and have them sort out the house stuff with you and you ex so you can still keep minimal/no contact.
The thing is, when I broke NC I felt like crap again, and all those mixed/confused emotions came back, that's why I would say try and avoid breaking NC. But to be hounest it hurt like hell for awhile but it went away more quick.

As for being terrified about the future, and having a irritating job. You've got some space now to change that. Use job hunting to keep yourself busy, research some areas that you would like to work in. And don't worry about the future, its weird how life works out sometimes. Just go with the flow, Heal yourself for now, and move on. There really are plenty more fish in the sea dude.

Hope I helped. Good luck dude =)

Hey bud you can read my earlier posts me and my girlfriends broke up Wednesday after 3 yrs and I'm going insaine got to stay buisy all day and feel sad as hell. Everyone says its for the best and I kind of believe that but immm so scad of being alone ughhh we got to be strong. If you need to talk hit me up people in the same situation can usually help each other.

A break up after 8 years, leaves a big hole in the soul, and will take a lot of work on your part to fill the void. Handle any business you have first, with the help of a third party, as proposed in your other post. I will not lie, you have a hard, very hard road ahead of you, and will need a lot of support and resolve. Read the links in my signature, for some real good tips, and roll up your sleeves.

OK Guys... I didn't heed the advice (I'm sorry!) and we ended up talking about the house this past Sunday night. Conversation went well until she told me she had to "repack" for a business trip she was going on. So, of course, I asked her if she'd been traveling for work or vacation this past weekend and she said it was vacation with "customers and a bunch of people" but it ended up being more like work. So now my wheels start spinning in my head and she didn't want to elaborate. She goes into how we shouldn't be discussing what we're up to anymore because it sets a bad precedent. Of course, I then had to ask if she was seeing/dating anyone already (after only 3weeks)... she said no and wasn't ready to do that yet. She STILL would not tell me what she did this weekend. I let it go and we got into talking about other things. But it then ate me up all night and morning (it's now Monday). Was not going to pursue it and try to forget about it, but then my cell phone rings and it's her (calling about another piece of business we needed to handle). So of course I had to ask and insisted that out of respect and 8yrs that I deserved to know the truth (I told her that I knew I didn't have the RIGHT to ask). I told her for my piece of mind that I needed to know. If it was nothing, then great! If there was something going on, sure, it would kill me, but it would help me move forward. Maybe even get me to the anger stage much more quick. She finally relented and told me she went to a football game in Jacksonville for the weekend (she hates football) with a bunch of people and that she also had this feeling of guilt the whole weekend thinking about me while she's trying to have fun. She says she didn't hook up with anyone and it was just with friends. She again said that she wasn't dating anyone and insisted that she wasn't ready to date so soon (she even went into a story about how a guy tried to pick her up at the gym and she froze up and walked away because she wasn't used to this new single life and mentally was not ready for it yet). She did say that, just like me, she is trying to keep herself busy and that included if her customers asked her to do something. I just don't know.. my heart believes her, but my brain doesn't. My take is this: a male customer of hers invited her to go to this football game with a group of people. And because it is a male customer, she didn't want me to know because she knows it would have hurt me. We ended up breaking down to each other on the phone about how hard the break up is on us. Not going to lie, I broke down hard (she kind of did too). But she's not coming back. And I have a realtor coming to the house tomorrow, so this is really happening :( Sorry guys! I let you and myself down. I realize now how important (and hard) NC is. I know I need to let go... but it's so hard after a piece of you is no longer there. Just putting down my feelings... go ahead and blast away!

I don't think many of us were able to start NC from the first minute... it took a few fumbles like what you did to realize the importance. Don't fret, and don't worry about it.

I think once the business part is settled, you will be more ready to get on with your life. Don't beat yourself up, as we all slip up. Dust yourself off, and get busy, rebuilding your own life.