My fiancce of 5 years is addicted to weed when we first met he was addicted to cocaine but he stopped that but replaced it with weed he has smoked for 4 and a half years we have 1 beautiful son and have been trying for another baby for 2 years , we have both been tested at the doctors and I am fine ( I don't touch drugs ) but he is not all the smoking has affected his fertility we had the test nearly 5 months ago but he is still smoking he has reduced but still smoking far too much how do I get him to stop and what can I do to help him I love him dearly so please can somebody advise me what to do , also I have asked him to go to a drug meeting and he just laughs it doesn't help that I know he enjoys it and he says its his way 2 relax he works full time in a stressful job and I don't what to do next

Video games or working out helps stress a lot more than weed. I know this I used to smoke weed and I stopped and started working out almost daily and play games once in a while.

Thanks quikfeedmeplz how did u make the break from it and did u sleep properly my partner doesn't sleep when he doesn't have a joint and he is a nightmare when he has run out of weed

You can not get someone to stop doing something they don't think is WRONG! YOu will never get him to admit he has a problem when he thinks he doesn't. That is the hardest thing about an addict. You can use your child as a modivation for him to stop. But sometimes that doesn't even work. The nightmare's are just an excuss so that way he can get more. If he wanted to stop then he would. Weed isn't all that addictive. It's a proven fact. Your more likely to get addictied to drinking coffee then smokeing weed...

I am in the same position, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he is definitely addicted to weed. Our sex life has definitely taken a turn for the worst and he is always tired and ready for bed after smoking during the day. I definitely want to have kids and it worries me that it has that much of an effect on fertility! I wish you the best and hope he is able to realize what is important!

Here's some info that may be helpful to you

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Smoking marijuana makes sperm less fertile -- even if the woman is the one who smokes it, a new study shows.

Marijuana-smoking college men volunteered for the study led by Lani J. Burkman, PhD, director of andrology at the University of Buffalo School of Medicine and Biomedical Sciences.

The smokers weren't the only ones who got high. The drug affected their sperm, too. These stoned sperm party hard. And then? They burn out, researchers say.

"Marijuana-smoking men's sperm are hyper. They are way out there," Burkman tells WebMD. "They already have begun the vigorous swimming called hyperactivation. Sperm should be quiet at first. They should be waiting to be washed into cervix and approach the egg before they start hyperactivation."

So the little guys are fast out of the gate, right? What's wrong with a little head start?

"It is not a head start. They are going to blow it," Burkman says. "They're too fast, too early. Each individual sperm can maintain this swimming only so long, only several hours. Then it poops out. If it has run out of hyperactivation before it gets close to the egg, it will not fertilize. These sperm are going to burn out."

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Smoking Marijuana Lowers Fertility

Thanks 4 everyone's advice it really helped

Until HE wants to quit there is NOTHING you can do to make him quit!

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

Until HE wants to quit there is NOTHING you can do to make him quit!

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I was afraid someone was going to say that I think deep down ialready no that but was still interested in what other people had 2 say and there thoughts and suggestions , thanks for the reply hun ! X

Sorry to state the obvious but you knew he was addict from the start, I don't understand why you expect him to be different now?

For me, the real issue is that he's choosing a behavior that reduces your chances of having another child together. If I were you, that's what I would be talking about with him. Are you sure you want to have another child with someone who, at this time, is not 100% dedicated to creating one?

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Originally Posted by MayfairLady

sorry to state the obvious but you knew he was addict from the start, i dont understand why you expect him to be different now?

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Mayfairlady, was my post factually incorrect? Was my advice wrong? Negative ratings are not to be used like that. Read the rules. You've been here long enough to write 112 posts. You should know that by now.

FROM THE RULES: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum-...nes-24951.html

Negative comments should be given under the following circumstances:
1) From another member when an answer is FACTUALLY wrong
2) From the asker if the advice turned out to be wrong

Negative comments should NOT be given when:
1) there is a difference of opinion not of fact
2) when a response has been added to the thread disagreeing with the opinion


You gave your opinion. I gave mine. They're two different aspects of the same thing. Did I say that he wasn't like that to start with? I stand behind what I said.

Just one more thing: what did my post actually have to do with your comment on it?

To hightlight the fact that the real issue is not that he is now choosing a behaviour that reduces their chances of having a child, but that she chose to start a relationship and start a family with someone KNOWING he used drugs in the first place, and there are well advertised consequences (including infertility) to drug use. He is still that same person she chose, and his behaviour in fact has not changed at all. He has always used some substance or another and it has only become an issue now because of the infertifily. It is lack of insight into the consequences of choosing a partner who uses drugs to have children with that has caused the problem, not his drug use or dedication to creating a child. He has been dedicated enough to stick around for 5 years, help create the first child and is trying for another, he just happens to be a dedicated drug user too, which she knew about and to which there are consequences. I don't see how his dedication to creating a child can be called into question at all when it is simply the effects of the drugs on his fertility. She went into this with her eyes open, knowing he did drugs, on some level must have known the effects and risks drug users take with their bodies, and now the consequences of that choice are here she does not want to accept them and wants him to change. I understand the frustration but she chose him. Its like choosing to smoke for 10 years then complaining that you have a bad cough.

Mayfair lady, please follow the rules on using the negative comment, if you merely want to "highlight" give it a positive rating and state your comment, if you just have to use it.
But you should be following up with your own posts.

Please don't make this an issue I have to come in and moderate, there are no winners then.

I think if your boyfriend wanted more children he'd stop smoking weed for that. If you've informed him how it is affecting the possibilities of you 2 creating a child and it doesn't bother him maybe the issue you should be focusing on is why he doesn't want anymore children.

Weed isn't physically addicting it may be a little mentally addicting (myself knowing from experience). He's probably mentally addicted and doesn't believe that his smoking is wrong. I don't think its wrong either although it is illegal. I'm pro marijuana. I think a good idea would be to sit down and talk to him about the baby you want to create with him and ask him to stop or smoke less for a little while so that you 2 can make your baby. If he says no I think he doesn't want another baby.

Does weed affect your relationship in any other way?

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Originally Posted by chrissymarie

I think if your boyfriend wanted more children he'd stop smoking weed for that. If you've informed him how it is affecting the possibilities of you 2 creating a child and it doesn;t bother him maybe the issue you should be focusing on is why he doesn't want anymore children.

Weed isn't physically addicting it may be a little mentally addicting (myself knowing from experience). He's probably mentally addicted and doesn't believe that his smoking is wrong. I don't think its wrong either although it is illegal. I'm pro marijuana. I think a good idea would be to sit down and talk to him about the baby you want to create with him and ask him to stop or smoke less for a lil while so that you 2 can make ur baby. If he says no I think he doesnt want another baby.

does weed affect your relationship in any other way?

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This post is over a year old,I seriously doubt you will get a response from the original poster.

Buy some meth about a gram and secretly lace it with his weed... hee will smoke it... freak out and never smoke again... real talk.