We were just friends, but I felt that things were tending to go to a romantic interest. I know he was interested and I know that marriage was something that he wanted as part of his future. At the time, I wasn't looking for a husband. I decided that I didn't want to go that route. So, I sent him a card and told him that I appreciate him and his family and that he was like a brother to me. His family stopped talking to me for a little while but would continuously stare at me from afar when they saw me. They eventually started talking back with me again. He's really never stopped talking to me. We just don't talk as often or as long. It's been a little more than a year and He does express concern quite often that we don't talk as much anymore. He's engaged to be married now. Apparently a lot of people he knew didn't even know he was dating this girl. I knew, it didn't come as a shock. I know he wants a family, I don't, at least not now. He stares at me still. I try not to stare back. He's never introduced his fiancée to me, even when she's around. But his mother gave me an invitation to the wedding. I immediately went home, gave him a phone call and told him to reserve my seat. Let's just say he was really cold to me, like one-worded conversations, "Yeah," "Okay". Almost like he was disappointed that I responded. Anyway, so comes their wedding shower. Although I was invited, it was too far of a drive, so I didn't go. The next day he asks me, "Where were you? Why didn't you come? I was looking for you." He told me there were 300 people there. So, I'm thinking why would he care if there are 300 people there? I'm one less person. Anyway, I saw him over the weekend and reminded him of how many days he has left to marry. His response: He shrugged his shoulders and said "Don't do a countdown." No laughs. Some of my friends say that he still has feelings for me. I'm not going to lie, I still have feelings for him. It's just are paths are not the same. What do you think, does he still have romantic feelings or friendly feelings?

Honestly I don't think it matters. If you have no interest in pursuing a relationship with him since you know that your relationship goals are not similar then what does it matter? If he is marrying this girl in order to get over you then that is his mistake to be made. He may honestly love this girl and want to spend the rest of his life with her but could still have residual feelings for you that are meaningless.

In college there was a guy who was in love with my best friend. They briefly dated and nothing much every came of it. About 4 years ago he got married to one of our friends and while he was engaged you could tell that part of him wanted my best friend to be crushed that he was "off the market". He would act weird towards her and would be cold. Did it mean he wasn't in love with his fiancée and still loved my best friend - no. His ego was suffering over the fact that my best friend was not devastated over her "missed chance" with him. I suspect the same is the situation here.

Sounds like he is extremely confused. Why not talk to him about it? Put all the cards on the table. He might be making a bad decision marring this girl. You know it cost a lot more to get divorced then it does to get married. And if you have feelings for him, why would you want him to get married? Just because he wants a family and wants to settle down, doesn't mean your never going to want that. Relationships take time, so why not at least talk to him about everything before he goes and maybe makes the biggest mistake of his life...

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Originally Posted by zippyr

We were just friends, but I felt that things were tending to go to a romantic interest. I know he was interested and I know that marriage was something that he wanted as part of his future. At the time, I wasn't looking for a husband. I decided that I didn't want to go that route. So, I sent him a card and told him that I appreciate him and his family and that he was like a brother to me. His family stopped talking to me for a little while but would continuously stare at me from afar when they saw me. They eventually started talking back with me again. He's really never stopped talking to me. We just don't talk as often or as long. It's been a little more than a year and He does express concern quite often that we don't talk as much anymore. He's engaged to be married now. Apparently a lot of people he knew didn't even know he was dating this girl. I knew, it didn't come as a shock. I know he wants a family, I don't, at least not now. He stares at me still. I try not to stare back. He's never introduced his fiancee to me, even when she's around. But his mother gave me an invitation to the wedding. I immediately went home, gave him a phone call and told him to reserve my seat. Let's just say he was really cold to me, like one-worded conversations, "Yeah," "Okay". Almost like he was dissappointed that I responded. Anyway, so comes their wedding shower. Although I was invited, it was too far of a drive, so I didn't go. The next day he asks me, "Where were you? Why didn't you come? I was looking for you." He told me there were 300 people there. So, I'm thinking why would he care if there are 300 people there? I'm one less person. Anyway, I saw him over the weekend and reminded him of how many days he has left to marry. His response: He shrugged his shoulders and said "Don't do a countdown." No laughs. Some of my friends say that he still has feelings for me. I'm not going to lie, I still have feelings for him. It's just are paths are not the same. What do you think, does he still have romantic feelings or friendly feelings?

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Sounds like you want him as well. You have to talk even just to clear the way for him to make a future with no regrets.

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Originally Posted by zippyr

We were just friends, but I felt that things were tending to go to a romantic interest. I know he was interested and I know that marriage was something that he wanted as part of his future. At the time, I wasn't looking for a husband. I decided that I didn't want to go that route. So, I sent him a card and told him that I appreciate him and his family and that he was like a brother to me. His family stopped talking to me for a little while but would continuously stare at me from afar when they saw me. They eventually started talking back with me again. He's really never stopped talking to me. We just don't talk as often or as long. It's been a little more than a year and He does express concern quite often that we don't talk as much anymore. He's engaged to be married now. Apparently a lot of people he knew didn't even know he was dating this girl. I knew, it didn't come as a shock. I know he wants a family, I don't, at least not now. He stares at me still. I try not to stare back. He's never introduced his fiancee to me, even when she's around. But his mother gave me an invitation to the wedding. I immediately went home, gave him a phone call and told him to reserve my seat. Let's just say he was really cold to me, like one-worded conversations, "Yeah," "Okay". Almost like he was dissappointed that I responded. Anyway, so comes their wedding shower. Although I was invited, it was too far of a drive, so I didn't go. The next day he asks me, "Where were you? Why didn't you come? I was looking for you." He told me there were 300 people there. So, I'm thinking why would he care if there are 300 people there? I'm one less person. Anyway, I saw him over the weekend and reminded him of how many days he has left to marry. His response: He shrugged his shoulders and said "Don't do a countdown." No laughs. Some of my friends say that he still has feelings for me. I'm not going to lie, I still have feelings for him. It's just are paths are not the same. What do you think, does he still have romantic feelings or friendly feelings?

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OF COURSE HE HAS FEELINGS FOR YOU.

He's upset that you'd actually attend events because that means you must not care about him as he does you.

Your timelines are off because you don't want to be rushed.. he's marrying someone else just to get married. Some men actually love marriage and children. (I can never find those!! Lol!! )

Looks like you're going to lose this one.. at least for a while. By the time you see him again, divorced & maybe with a kid.. will you consider that a relief or would you still be interested?

You should have a VERY fearless open talk,. but can you? That's just it, everyone lives crouched in fear.. never talking to the people they are supposed to talk to. Afraid to be that brazenly honest, and opportunities are lost and regrets happen.

Before he marries you should be telling him what you feel and ask him what he feels for you, and tell him it has to come out because its almost too late. Communication is KEY if its not there and its not done with honesty, you don't have anything but games.