Ask Me Help Desk - Single and pregnant

Okay well I had been dating my ex for 4 years. This past year has been really bad. We broke up a lot, then we tried to work things out again. Towards the end of the relationship he became very verbally and physically abusive. About 3 months ago I found out I was pregnant. He promised he was going to change. Our entire relationship, I have been battling him about his drinking problem. I don't want my child around it. So about a month ago I broke up with him. Two days later I went to his house to talk to him, and found another girl in his bed. I at first I was really upset. He ended up cheating on her with me. Then I would tell her and she did not believe me. About a week ago, he called me 20 times one day and 17 the following, saying baby I miss you and asked me to come over. Then I went over one night after work and talked to him, and he was like I'm sorry but I'm going to see her. I don't understand why he is playing games with me? If he doesn't want to work things out then why did he call me? Please help me with some advise to either get over him or try to get him back for the baby.

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Originally Posted by singlemom1107

Okay well I had been dating my ex for 4 years. This past year has been really bad. We broke up a lot, then we tried to work things out again. Towards the end of the relationship he became very verbally and physically abusive. About 3 months ago I found out I was pregnant. He promised he was going to change. Our entire relationship, I have been battling him about his drinking problem. I don't want my child around it. So about a month ago I broke up with him. Two days later I went to his house to talk to him, and found another girl in his bed. I at first I was really upset. He ended up cheating on her with me. Then I would tell her and she did not believe me. About a week ago, he called me 20 times one day and 17 the following, saying baby I miss you and asked me to come over. Then I went over one night after work and talked to him, and he was like i'm sorry but i'm going to see her. I don't understand why he is playing games with me? If he doesn't want to work things out then why did he call me? Please help me with some advise to either get over him or try to get him back for the baby.

I think you don't deserve this and you can find another good guy.To be mum is amazing you forget all the problems with men and just concentrate on yor baby, it gives you much more satisfaction than engaging yourself in all endless problem solving.

Don't put up with his crap no more, get over him you can do better. If he wants to be part of the child's life fine but be careful, if he was abusive with you and he drinks it might be a good idea to only let him have visitations with you or another person present

Remember that actions speak louder than words. He can SAY anything he wants, but behind your back he's cheating... maybe even more than you know. That alone could spread a disease to you and your baby if you were to continue sleeping with him. Still worse than that, he's abusive and possibly an alcoholic. It might be hard, but the best thing you can do for yourself and that precious baby is to turn your back and run out of his life. In the long run it would be even harder on you to stay with him.

In the future, he might be a better parent than boyfriend but right now you need to find a better lifestyle. You and your baby deserve much more than he can give.

Good luck to you.