Hope someone can inspire me! I've been going out with a lovely man for 4 months, and had high hopes for our relationship. He had been in a ten year relationship which broke up a year and a half before I met him. But when his ex found out about me, she went all out to get him back. He became very confused and has now decided he owes it to her to try again because they were together for so long. She had no interest in him when I wasn't on the scene. He says he knows he may be making a huge mistake, that he was very happy with me, but feels he has to do this.

I don't think his ex wants him back for the right reasons; he asked me to stay friends but I said I didn't think that would be good for me and have not contacted him since, although he knows how hurt I am, because I couldn't hide it when he told me. This all happened two weeks ago.

Can any one tell me-is there any hope of him coming back to me? I miss him so much. I have a very busy life but he was SO special to me, the nicest man I've ever met. Maybe its better he finds out for sure how things really are with his ex... any advice or insights for me would really be appreciated.

Do you know why they brokeup in the first place?

Like MissingHim2Much, I think you should give more detail before we can help you with your problem.

I don't know the details because we didn' talk too much about her. He said she wanted children and he wasn't particularly keen.That wasn't an issue for me because I have children and don't want any more. When I asked him, earlier in the relationship if he wnted her back, he said she would have to completely change. Now he says he mustened have been as over it all as he thought. He says he enjoyed every second he spent with me and never imagned this would happen. But it has...

10 years is an awful long time to spend with someone and to just walk away from it. They may still have some unresolved issues that need to be taken care of. As for her suddenly wanting to be in his life when he starts a relationship, did she do this during the 1.5 years they were split with others? She may not want him but doesn't want anyone else with him either... a double edged sword here...

He hasn't had any other serious relationships since, till me, so it didn't arise before; he dated a few girls but didn't fall for anyone

I would walk away and leave him to it for the time being. It souds as though he's confused and while he's in that state of mind he wont's be able to give you the relationship you deserve. Keep your dignity - it sounds as though you've been very patient from the start of the relationship - so now take the time to look after yourself.

Confusedallot hit it right on the nail head. My story is kind of similar in the fact my ex and I split 2 months ago we been together for 3 yrs. Off and on. Any ways I know what confusedalot says is true because I haven't yet but I do know that when I move on and find someone special my ex will come back because she doesn't want me but hse doesn't want anyone else to have me . Hey they might work it out, but chances are it will end up the same. Justl ike my ex and I. She is currently in a LDR but I know if she came back everything will be fine but . Will hit the fan sooner or later. You can't be mad at him for this though. He was honest with you, which I respect. Let him take his course. You never know what tomorrow is going to bring.

You have got to make yourself happy before you can ever think about making another happy. There is no definite yes or no as to whether it will or will not work... ever. I am sure, at times that you may feel broken... but one has to fall apart to put themselves back together. Focus on you, and find content. Sounds like he is confused and not ready in his life for this decision.

Would you want a man that can leave you so quickly and easily... he broke up with her a year and a half ago... what can he possibly OWE her that he doesn't owe you since he's been seeing you for the last 4 months.

There is a good chance it won't last with his ex, even though it's hard at the moment, you should try to give up on him, he may run between the both of you and that will just end up destroying you.

My partner left me a year ago and met someone else. I found out that he had movde on and I was really hurt. He has now ended the relationship with her and back with me. Sometimes after all that time together you can work it out and love each other again. Sorry but it looks like you were a rebound and he was never over his ex.

This post is from 2007.