My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years, and we have a great relationship, but lately we are ALWAYS fighting about my weight. I weighed 123lbs. When we met (I am 5'4", 20 years old, and small boned, so this looked reasonably curvy). Since then, I have lost about 11 pounds, and now weigh around 112 (size 2).

The funny this is, I didn't really try to lose the weight at all. I haven't changed anything in my exercise routine. The only thing I changed was I started eating several small meals each day instead of 3 huge meals, but this is only because eating 3 big meals always made me feel too bloated and tired. He is CONVINCED that this small change cannot be responsible for losing 11 pounds and thinks I am intentionally dieting somehow.

Anyway... this is a big deal, because he gets upset about it when I look particularly thin and doesn't talk to me for the rest of the night. I argue that he should love me whatever I look like, and he argues that he can't help but be angry that I won't maintain a weight he finds sexy.

Who's right here, and what should be done? I try to put on weight, but I just can't seem to anymore. It's gotten so bad that he's talking about breaking up.

Your weight is not his business. If you are happy and are being healthy then there should be no issue. Now if you were developing an eating disorder that's a totally different story. It doesn't sound like that here.

Someone should love you as is if the only thing keeping him around was your curvy frame that doesn't say much for the relationship. It seems like such a silly thing to end a relationship over.

How old are both of you?

I'm 20, and he is 24. We are both really active, althetic people that are in shape, but I am apparently "losing my shape". I think he is fueled by comments from other people, because my entire family constantly insists I need to put on weight. (This is mainly because I'm Italian, and my family looooves food - the women are all pretty curvaceous). Also, my best male friend recently made a comment that I am "so tiny", and I could "put on 15 pounds".

I personally think my boyfriend should be happy with me for ME, not for my booty. He says that personal appearance plays into it, and it's not sexy for a girl to be "obsessed with being thin".

It is a very silly thing to break up over, but it's just been brewing for the past year. I don't know if I should just stuff my face and make my body balloon back up to 123, or continue living my life as I see fit.

Your right, he is wrong. This guy does not deserve you and I think you should dump him. Like the above answer said it is a silly reason to end an relationship but if he is never happy with you and does not love you for who you are no matter what your weight is then he does not deserve you.

Please do not make any decisions based on what we say but base it on what will make you happy.

It's just hard to end a otherwise great relationship over 11 pounds! I think he's being a jerk, but part of me forgives him for it because I know he is jumping on the bandwagon with my family (who also insists I should gain weight). I do not have a mental disorder that distorts how I see my body, and I can see that I look fine at this weight. Noticeably thin, yes, but still healthy.

I would like to just ignore the situation and not make a huge deal of it, but he gets angry about it and stays that way for the entire day. Comments also arise during sex (obviously, since my hourglass is apparently shrinking!), which just puts strain on the entire relationship.

Ending it over 11 pounds? That sounds like something I would have done in 9th grade haha.

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Originally Posted by xmarksthespotx

I'm 20, and he is 24. We are both really active, althetic people that are in shape, but I am apparently "losing my shape". I think he is fueled by comments from other people, because my entire family constantly insists I need to put on weight. (This is mainly because I'm Italian, and my family looooves food - the women are all pretty curvaceous). Also, my best male friend recently made a comment that I am "so tiny", and I could "put on 15 pounds".

I personally think my boyfriend should be happy with me for ME, not for my booty. He says that personal appearance plays into it, and it's not sexy for a girl to be "obsessed with being thin".

It is a very silly thing to break up over, but it's just been brewing for the past year. I don't know if I should just stuff my face and make my body balloon back up to 123, or continue living my life as I see fit.

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If you are happy with your appearance then I see no need to "stuff your face".

Yes Italian mothers God bless their hearts think everyone is too skinny. If you are happy and are not "obsessed with being thin" then who the heck cares.

If you were talking nonstop about every piece of food you put into your mouth and constantly were saying "oh my God I couldn't possible eat I'm SOOOO fat". Then yes, you would be acting obnoxious and I would totally side with your boyfriend. However not the situation am I right?

I would just tell him either he loves you or loves your body. If he loved you it wouldn't matter how much you weighed. Someone berating you over your weight is not good for you or healthy for yourself esteem.

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Originally Posted by xmarksthespotx

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years, and we have a great relationship, but lately we are ALWAYS fighting about my weight. I weighed 123lbs. when we met (I am 5'4", 20 years old, and small boned, so this looked reasonably curvy). Since then, I have lost about 11 pounds, and now weigh around 112 (size 2).

The funny this is, I didn't really try to lose the weight at all. I haven't changed anything in my exercise routine. The only thing I changed was I started eating several small meals each day instead of 3 huge meals, but this is only because eating 3 big meals always made me feel too bloated and tired. He is CONVINCED that this small change cannot be responsible for losing 11 pounds and thinks I am intentionally dieting somehow.

Anyway ... this is a big deal, because he gets upset about it when I look particularly thin and doesn't talk to me for the rest of the night. I argue that he should love me whatever I look like, and he argues that he can't help but be angry that I won't maintain a weight he finds sexy.

Who's right here, and what should be done? I try to put on weight, but I just can't seem to anymore. It's gotten so bad that he's talking about breaking up.

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Wow... I think that he should love you for the way you are.. actually it really should be more about what you are like inside, like your personality and stuff. Weight should not matter. If he doesn't like the way you look on your outer appearance and can't accept that then I would say to bad. Either take me for the way I am or leave me. Listen to your heart and do what you feel is right though :)

Well, I have to admit I have a slightly annoying habit of complaining after eating that I'm too full, I feel fat, I have to go the gym, etc etc. He's not crazy to think that I am very weight-conscious, because I am... the irony in that is that I did NOT try to lose the 11 pounds, and it just happened! Because of my half-kidding weight complaints, though, my boyfriend is convinced I am lying, and that I secretly was dieting. It's a little bit of a "crying wolf" situation... I kept saying how "fat" I was, then weight melted off, and of course everyone assumes I formed some sort of eating disorder and/or obsession.

For the record, I do not truly believe I am fat, or ever was. My highest weight was at about 138, and I loved myself then just as much as I do now. I just have the irritating habit of wailing, "I'm so fat!", like most of my friends. I personally blame MTV ;) heh. On a serious note, I have kicked that habit since dropping down to 112.

I still think that my boyfriend should trust me (that I didn't intentionally lose the weight), love whatever shape I want to be, and stop making me feel like crap for the way I look. He thinks that I am apathetic to his wants and believes I have a distorted view of my own body. I honestly don't know who is right.