I was molested 3 times as a young child,
once when I was 5, another time when I was 8, then when I was 14. I don't usually get horney it seems like I have no sex drive. I want to get to know that part of myself, but I still have flash back.
it doesn't help that I losed my virginity to guy whom I found out was cheating on me at that time, we broke up a week later. Then in my heart I lost it in my heart to this guy I was with for 3 yrs. He cheated on me. To sum it up I have always been cheated on, so it doesn't help that I`m ashamed of my sexuality.
the guy I'm finally happy with I have been with him a 1 yr. he says I'm boring in bed because I don't know who I`am sexually yet, he says that I don't show any emotion. He says I should just let go of my past, but its not that easy.
I have tried talking dirty, sex toys, costumes, porn it seems like everything. Nothing seems to work. I don't want to lose him. What should I do?

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Originally Posted by princessrose949

I was molested 3 times as a young child,
once when i was 5, another time when i was 8, then when i was 14. i dont usally get horney it seems like i have no sex drive. i want to get to know that part of myself, but i still have flash back.
it doesnt help that i losed my virginity to guy whom i found out was cheating on me at that time, we broke up a week later. then in my heart i lost it in my heart to this guy i was with for 3 yrs. he cheated on me. to sum it up i have always been cheated on, so it doesnt help that I`m ashamed of my sexuality.
the guy im finally happy with i have been with him a 1 yr. he says im boring in bed because i dont know who I`am sexually yet, he says that i dont show any emotion. he says i should just let go of my past, but its not that easy.
i have tried talking dirty, sex toys, costumes, porn it seems like everthing. nothing seems to work. i dont want to lose him. what should i do?

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In order for you to enjoy sex you really need to put your mind to it. I also was molested as a child, and to tell you the truth it took a long time for mr to get past that. You really need to put that in the back of your mind. When your having sex w/ your man don't think about anything except how good it feels, and you man has to try his best to make you feel goo. Cause all you need is to have that first goo orgasm, them you will be able to enjoy sex from there. Cause now you have a different memory about sex. Tell him to stop talking and make it real special for you. Save the sex toys,sex talk and porn for when you are already into it. Right now tell him to caress you and kiss you all over. Tell him to get creative with you. If he loves you he'll make it about you first, then you can worry about him when you get yours.Some sex toys you can use, like the bullet , just like stimulants for your clitoris so that you're able to . Good luck..

I was also molested as a child. It was uncomfortable for me at first but I've managed not to think about it during sex. I've only had sex with one guy. I want to be into it but am embarrassed that I'm not experienced. We've only had sex a handful of times and it's always kind of dull. I want to mix it up but don't know what to do.

Were you able to discuss same with a professional? Might be an idea worth thinking about. Best wishes

Hello.

Don't let your Boyfriend push you, if he Loves you he will understand, he might not like it but will understand.

No one can tell you what you need to do to get over your past. I do know that the more you love yourself the more you can Love others. I would start by getting to know who you are and how special you are. The past is the past and you might not be able to forget the past you can let yourself live the future.

Dennis777

NEWSFLASH: You may be with the wrong guy.

"Boring in bed..." (? ) Well, he should take a hike then! You need to understand that you DO have options and pleasing this guy is not a solution to all your problems... pleasing yourself and loving yourself comes first.

I'd strongly consider seeing a psychiatrist/therpaist ASAP.
Get a number of a good counselor from your doctor... and if possible, don't put it on your insurance... see what's available. You are seeking guys that don't respect you and you try to dress up, be dirty etc. but it's not you and you feel uninspired. You have a lot of unresolved sexual and identity and guilt issues that this guy doesn't get.