I have an 18 yr old daughter and basically she refuses to obey the rules of the house when it comes to curfew and pitching in. She goes to a school for kids with behavioural problems, and is on an IEP. Recently we had an issue with her and her boyfriend which resulted in the police being called to the house. She demands that we give her money and tells us that if we kick her out then she can sue us. The school she attends is telling us that under the IEP we have to let her stay in the home until she either earns her diploma or turns 23. What exactly are our rights? We have had on going problems with our daughter now since she was 13. She is verbally abusive and generally rude and disrespectful. We want her out so that we can protect our other 2 children from her, also the boyfriend has threatened me with physical abuse, would getting a restraining order be a good idea.

Thanks

You've been told your rights. You are responsible for her until she earns her diploma or turns 23. If the problem is becoming untenable, then you need to talk to the school about whether to have her committed or go into a full time care facility.

So, basically we are to just sit back and deal with all the problems she dishes out. I mean its terrible that the law will protect her but what about protecting us from her, she can get violent smashing things up etc, we have called the police many times when she has smashed holes in walls, it's a joke how the system will care for her but not protect us. She basically gets a slap on the wrist and told to abide by the house rules, now she is 18 she thinks she can just come and go as she pleases how is this fair. As far as the law here is concerned and as I was told by a police officer last night she is an adult and we can kick her out. I brought up the school situation and he was like its her problem she is chosing the path she is taking.

If she gets violent and presents a physical threat to the safety of you and the rest of the family, then you may be able to get her committed to a full time care facility. You need to discuss this with her doctors and the counselors at the IEP facility.

The police officer was right that in a normal situation at 18 you would be able to kick her out. But the law generally modifies that by the later of age 18 or when school is finished. The laws governing the IEP program may also modify it.