Ask Me Help Desk - I fell in love with an ILLUSION

:confused: Im Chelsea and I need someone's help.. ANYTHING! My ex-boyfriend told me he loved me and we got into so many fights that would always make me break down crying. He told me that he went to the movies with this girl and she made out with him in the theater but she didn't know that he had a girlfriend. He told me that after they left the movies he treated her to food and a shopping spree, he never took me out or bought me anything! I broke up with him days later and I was devastated, he wasn't. I later found out from his own brother that he lied about EVERYTHING. I mean everything. He lied about his ethnicity, where he lives, the pictures on his myspace are not him. He promised me he would never hurt me and look he lied to me. He told everyone that he just used me for the sex, and that was an ugly Bit@h! He told me that he sings and records his music, that was all a lie. He met my parents and siblings and he even lied to them... I heard all of this from his own brother who told me I should have came to him sooner. I cry every single night and remember all the good times we had even though I still put up with all the bull. Now that I realize it... I fell in love with an illusion.. I fell in love with someone who wasn't really there and was just pretending. I trusted him, I gave my innocence to him but look he just threw it away like I was trash. Everyone told me that I was stubborn and that I didn't listen, but look I didn't deserve to be hurt like this. He would blame me of lying and being not honest when he was the one doing the same thing to me. I was so honest and loyal to him'... and even sometimes I don't even want to live anymore because of this emptiness in my stomach and it even still makes my heart ache in pain.:(

What's your question

Any idvise please... would be really apperciated.. what should I do?

Dear Stuck,
You are right. You did not deserve to be treated that way. His lying to you is not your fault. Take some time to recover from what this person did to you. What he did to you is a form of emotional abuse and it's bound to be traumatic for you. You can recover. If you can, find a therapist who knows something about emotional abuse and talk to him or her. If they don't understand and blame you, don't keep going though! Or just keep writing about your feelings until you start to feel better. You are not alone. Other people have been through similar things, myself included. You'll feel better in a few weeks or months and hopefully find someone nicer next time. Don't rush though. Right now, hang out with friends and family who are good to you and treat you with respect, NOT the ones who blame you for what happened to you. You don't need that right now. And count your blessings that you are rid of this person. Be glad you are not married to him and didn't have kids with him!

Also, there are forums where you can go to talk about this. One is safe4all.com. There are some others too. But you could start there. <http://www.safe4all.org/forums/forum-view?forum%5fid=6756> Hope you feel better soon!
Just Asking

Quote:

Originally Posted by StuCk_in_this_NightMare

:confused: Im Chelsea and I need someones help..ANYTHING! My ex-boyfriend told me he loved me and we got into so many fights that would always make me break down crying. He told me that he went to the movies with this girl and she made out with him in the theater but she didn't know that he had a girlfriend. He told me that after they left the movies he treated her to food and a shopping spree, he never took me out or bought me anything! I broke up with him days later and I was devastated, he wasn't. I later found out from his own brother that he lied about EVERYTHING. I mean everything. He lied about his ethnicity, where he lives, the pictures on his myspace are not him. He promised me he would never hurt me and look he lied to me. He told everyone that he just used me for the sex, and that was an ugly Bit@h! He told me that he sings and records his music, that was all a lie. He met my parents and siblings and he even lied to them...I heard all of this from his own brother who told me I should have came to him sooner. I cry every single night and remember all the good times we had even though I still put up with all the bull. Now that I realize it... I fell in love with an illusion..I fell in love with someone who wasn't really there and was just pretending. I trusted him, I gave my innocence to him but look he just threw it away like I was trash. Everyone told me that I was stubborn and that I didn't listen, but look I didn't deserve to be hurt like this. He would blame me of lieing and being not honest when he was the one doing the exact same thing to me. I was so honest and loyal to him'....and even sometimes I don't even want to live anymore because of this emptiness in my stomach and it even still makes my heart ache in pain.:(

Don't say you don't want to live. Life is a beautiful thing, don't waste your valuable time on him. If he lied, guess what, the reason he did it, is probably because he's ugly or something or he has low self esteem and was scared, he's just a *** and I hope you understand that. I'm sorry if you still love him, but you have to find someone new.

Quote:

Originally Posted by StuCk_in_this_NightMare

any idvise please....would be really apperciated..what should I do?

What should you do? Cut him out of your life. No contact. Nothing. He doesn't deserve you. You are worth way more than this jerk. I know it is hard after finding out what he's done. Any man that lies like you said he did, is not worth being called a man. Find someone else that truly appreciates you. You are worth it.