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-   -   My heartbrake and regret is unbearable. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=133262)

  • Sep 24, 2007, 02:08 PM
    Tamla
    My heartbrake and regret is unbearable.
    I was dating my ex partner for 3 years. We are both 39. Everything was wonderful and we had a fantastic first year. After about a year and a half, I brought up the future and he told me he was happy with us living apart. He had never been married but had had long term relationships 4/5 years. He said that before he met me he had never even considered living with a woman. He was loving and romantic and told me he had never felt so in love with anyone. But that he wasn't there yet. So I left things for another year and then I asked him again that I wanted more commitment as I felt that 3 years was long enough to start planning a future together. He told me that he didn't feel it in his heart and that he had lost the enthusiasm for the relationship. He said he loved me like a sister (this I cannot accept as our sex life was amazing). He cried all night in my arms and then drove me home telling me he wanted me to find a man that could give me a future I deserved. I am having so much trouble finding closure. I just keep thinking that he ended it for me and that I didn't get to make a decision with him. We didn't really talk or discuss anything. We could have sorted things out without ending it surely. Everything he said to me I have an answer for. The lust felling went for him, so he thought he must have been out of love, We could have lived apart as long as we made plans together and I knew he loved me. I did ask him all this but he said I was just sparing my broken heart. I am devastated and cannot believe he has just walked away. I have remained frinds with him and he seems happy, he has moved house got a new job and even likes someone new from work! He told me he wanted to be single and free. Please help, should I talk to him and ask for a second chance?
  • Sep 24, 2007, 09:02 PM
    lmnotok
    Look again at what you wrote, don't you see that he LOST INTEREST?? All the "i know he loved me" is just your assumption. Obviously, he was honest. He just loves you like a sister, no more, no less. TAke what he said at face value.

    All the reasons he gave just shows 1 thing: he doesn't want to be with you. So why second chance? 2nd chance is just in case you made a terrible mistake or something, but in this case, you didn't make mistake, so just let it be. Accept that he is not a part of your life anymore.

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