My ex-boyfriend hasn't seen his 9 month old daughter since she was 3 months old. I have sole legal and physical custody. He has supervised visitation, but has made no attempts to visit nor pay any child support. He tells everyone that I won't allow him to see her. The day my daughter was born, he insisted that he had rights, and for me to give her his last name. Reluctantly, I did.:( Now that I know he has no interest in her, I'd like for her to have my last name. She was born in North Carolina, but we live in Virginia. What would I have to do? Can this be done without going to court?

No it can't be done without going to court and unlikely that you will be able to do it without the father's consent.

If the father consents, where do we begin?

You would consult with an atty

You would need to petition the court for the change of name in order to change the birth certificate and social security card which must be done with a court order. The criteria for most judges is what is in the best interest of the child. Generally preference is given to the mother if she has custody. You could petition the court prose and get help from a law student concerning the required legal forms and language.

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Originally Posted by Raning1

You would need to petition the court for the change of name in order to change the birth certificate and social security card which must be done with a court order. The criteria for most judges is what is in the best interest of the child. Generally preference is given to the mother if she has custody. You could petition the court prose and get help from a law student concerning the required legal forms and language.

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First, social security cards have nothing to do with this. To change your name on your SSN account, you need only provide the SSA with proof of your name change.

Second, while the criteria of the family courts generally is the best interest of the child, that's in cases of divorce, custody, child support, adoption etc. It would NOT be applicable to changing the birth certificate. Changing someone's legal name is a matter of law and judges don't have the same leeway.

:confused: I live in AR and my response was from my experience with the system here in which I have 6 year old son and was advised the court would need to issue an order for change of name and that order would be used to secure a new social security card and change of name (the child's) on his birth certificate. The DFCS would also require that.

If both parents agree to the change it is farily easy, funny one of the easiest things you can do in court. You present the form to the court, they set a hearing date, and the name is changed. They even have forms for entire family name changes.

But this is assuming everyone involved agrees.

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Originally Posted by Raning1

:confused: I live in AR and my response was from my experience with the system here in which I have 6 year old son and was advised the court would need to issue an order for change of name and that order would be used to secure a new social security card and change of name (the child's) on his birth certificate. The DFCS would also require that.

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So you are speaking from a single experience in one court's jurisdiction?

I suspect you misunderstood something here. Yes the change of name order COULD (and would need to be) used to request a new SSN card. But they two are not tied together. First, SSN cards are not required of minors. It's a good idea to get them one ASAP, but its not a requirement until they start earning money. Its possible that, in your case, DFCS, is requiring that he have an SSN and that's why it was mentioned in the course of obtaining the order.

;) In response to your response, yes, I am presently seeking my surname to be added to my 6 year old son and he does already have a social security card (I actually will start paying him this year through my business by the way) which is why I am seeking a court order for that change of name. I am holding my breath that his Mom will agree in the next few days after procrastinating on this for the past two years! Women! Why Did God make them! LOL :p