My son is in the USAF. In Jan 2007 he was shipped to Iraq. My daughter-in-law ( in AZ), who just found out she was pregnant with second child, went home to her mother's house ( NY). I sent her money to help . She assured me she was going back to him in May, when he was due home from Iraq.
She has decided not to go back. Had the baby here in NY. My son missed the birth, but has been here 3 times since. Now she tells him she wants a divorce.
They are not legally separated. Does he have the right to come here and take his 2 yr old son back to AZ with him? He loves his children so much. This has made him a mental mess, he is seeing a theropist. I think he whole plan was to get his kids and run off.
What rights does he have??

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Originally Posted by katladee

My son is in the USAF. In Jan 2007 he was shipped to Iraq. My daughter-in-law ( in AZ), who just found out she was pregnant with second child, went home to her mother's house ( NY). I sent her money to help . She assured me she was going back to him in May, when he was due home from Iraq.
She has decided not to go back. Had the baby here in NY. My son missed the birth, but has been here 3 times since. Now she tells him she wants a divorce.
They are not legally seperated. Does he have the right to come here and take his 2 yr old son back to AZ with him? He loves his children so much. This has made him a mental mess, he is seeing a theropist. I think he whole plan was to get his kids and run off.
What rights does he have???

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Technically, if the mother doesn't have custody now, he can take them and it's not kidnapping or anything. He has as much rights to them as she does. He should file for custody, but if there's any chance he will have to leave again, he might not win. You should talk to a lawyer

He has a "right" to take them, but the mother also has the right not to let him have them. So unless she will give the children to him there is nothing he can do. Until he goes to court for custody and/or visitation

As it stands right now, he can come and take his kids wherever. They're legally his as much as hers. In the absence of a court order specifying otherwise, he can do whatever he wants.

Hmmm, the daughter-in-law just found out she was pregnant with the second child, and your son went to iraq in jan.07, sounds a little fishy here. I know that military families have to make long distance relationships work, but I don't see your son being able to impregnate your daughter-in-law all the way from iraq. I don't see the second child even being his. Of course, unless I have missed something here.

If anything your son should go through the legal process to obtain physical custody of the children. Even though he is married the mother he had limited rights to the children. The courts always prefer for the children to stay with the mother unless it is an unsafe environment. He can't just jump up and take the children without the mother's consent. It sucks honestly. They timing of the second child does not add up so I would advise him to take a DNA test. Advise him that he has to still set an example and a image when it comes to himself. At the fact he has come back from Iraq and is in therapy it can be used against him. He needs to make it work in his favor instead of her's.

While he has the "right" to take his children and uproot them it won't look favorably in court if he removes the kids from the mother's care (the only one caring for them while he was not in their lives, the court will not see it as he was a solidier but as she was the only care provider they had). This is not a good idea from a legal standpoint in regards to him getting visitation later etc... it is also not a very good thing to do to the kids unless he believes they are in imminent danger... a 2 yo being taken from its mother to live with dad who has been away is going to have some pretty big emotional issues... then if said 2 yo is ordered back to mom oy vey, the poor kiddo isn't going to know what to do.